November Link Love-Am So Happy I Slept In!! And My Thoughts On Anger
It’s Black Friday and I am currently sleeping in and getting some much needed rest. I hope you had an amazing day yesterday and a great time with your family and friends. Here are some fabulous links from November that I thought you would like!
November Link Love!
- Tonya from Budget and the Beach asks Why Am I Really Doing This? I ask myself this question all of the time.
- Maria shares an amazing story-HER story in the following post Only Got $20 In My Pocket
- Michelle from Making Sense of Cents shares 8 Things To Stop Being Afraid of So That You Can Be Rich, Happy, and Successful
- Stephanie shares her Only If It’s Free Philosophy. This is a game changer.
- Sandy from The Color of Money and Yes I Am Cheap wrote Ferguson Isn’t About Michael Brown Please also read my comments on anger.
- Gretchen also shares her perspective on the protests in Ferguson. This is a wonderful post and offers a very different perspective on what is going on.
The Shop My Closet Project Around the ‘Sphere
- Broke Twenty Something shared my post asking why aren’t you writing down your thoughts, hopes and dreams?
- Crystal from Sophisticated Spender did a menu challenge and shared my $40 grocery challenge from October.
- Tonya from Budget and the Beach shared my post where I took a stand about putting myself first.
- Shannon from The Heavy Purse also shared my post asking why aren’t you writing down your hopes, wishes, and dreams?
- Cat from Budget Blonde shared shared my post asking why aren’t you writing down your hopes, wishes, and dreams?
- House of Tre shared my post about visiting a dying American city.
A quick thought about anger:
This week the Ferguson decision was handed down and people reacted both violently and non-violently around the country. I found myself pulled into a very intense and heated Facebook “conversation” with a friend of a friend. They had posted a picture of another young man who had been shot by the police and killed only this young man was white. She was asking where were his riots? My response was “is this helpful?” Meaning, comparing the deaths of two young men is not helpful. Talking about inequality, abuse of power, poverty, and the right to trust that we will be policed fairly would be more helpful. Both shootings in my view were wrong and I continue to feel that how we police in this country needs to be looked at aggressively.
The “conversation” went downhill as she was too angry to “hear” what I was trying to convey. I then realized a couple of things:
- I very rarely if ever deal with people who are angry like this. Even my activist friends are mellower than this person.
- You should never engage with someone who is this angry-they won’t hear what you have to say and you get sucked into a rabbit hole of anger.
- I actually tabled the conversation. I literally wrote “let’s agree to disagree and table the conversation.” She still came at me 20 minutes later and then said that we should table the conversation.
- I ended it with “I tabled it 40 minutes ago-have a good night.”
The thing is, I haven’t dealt with someone that angry in YEARS. I ended up with a knot in my stomach and having the shakes. That was 40 minutes of wasted life dealing with someone who will never “hear” and understand what other people are trying to say.
I learned the hard way that sometimes you have to let people stew in their anger and stay out of it. It was a lose, lose situation for me and it took awhile afterwords for me to get to my normal baseline of being mellow and chilled out. I felt like I needed to sage my house to rid myself of that energy and wave sage over my computer to cleanse her angry vibe out of my digital space (I still might do that).
I surround myself with people who are positive, listen, and even when they disagree with what I’m saying are respectful of my point.
What has happened in the U.S. where intellectual discourse/conversation has become a battle for who is right? We see this everyday in Congress and maybe this is where the problems started?
I probably could have learned a lot about that commenter but I tuned her out because of her “shouting.” I also tuned out the rioters because burning down buildings, destroying people’s livelihoods (and places were population of Ferguson would patronize) is ridiculous. The real problem is that anger begets anger. Anger has little angry babies that settle in your minds, hearts, and souls. And then this babies multiply and you are blinded by it.
I want to help people, empower people, and be kind to people. I don’t want to engage in this kind of ridiculousness where I can’t have a productive conversation and learn a new perspective from someone else. People have to learn to manage their anger. So instead I will focus on being Kind. Kindness goes a long way. I learned the hard way this week that anger is not the way.
Have you been sucked into a situation like this before? How did you feel afterwords?
How do you deal with angry people?