The Emotional and Financial Cost of Your Dreams - youramericanmoney
Author: Michelle
Description: Chasing your dreams can have a financial and emotional cost. In this episode I share 5 lessons learned from Richard Williams father of Venus and Serena
Date: 2021-11-29T10:00:00+00:00

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# The Emotional and Financial Cost of Your Dreams

posted on 29 November, 2021

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I love watching movings but I hate going to the movie theater. I now typically watch movies at Red Rocks Amphitheatre which is a world class outdoor venue that hosts movies, concerts and a massive yoga class at the base of the mountains about 20 minutes from downtown Denver. With COVID running rampant through the streets, I had another reason to avoid going to the theater. This holiday season I’ve decided to actually go to the movie theater to watch two specific movies. The first is Dune, I feel like it’s one of those movies better seen on the big screen, the second was King Richard which I watched with my mom on Thanksgiving. King Richard is a movie executive produced by Venus and Serena Williams and it’s is for all extents and purposes a love letter to their dad. It also is the inspiration for today’s podcast episode about the emotional and financial cost of chasing a dream. No spoilers will be shared in this episode. Listen on to hear the 5 lessons learned about the financial and emotional cost of dreams from King Richard.

In order for me to support my blogging activities, I may receive monetary compensation or other types of remuneration for my endorsement, recommendation, testimonial and/or link to any products or services from this blog. Please read my disclosure here.*

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## Show Notes

- When I was a little girl, I was obsessed with gymnastics. You would find me doing cartwheels and flips any chance that I could get. In fact, when I was in the 4th grade I was on t.v. for the first time doing a flip off a bar and landing with a thumb’s up. Long-time Coloradans might remember when Channel 4 used to have this end segment.

- To this day, I love gymnastics. But, like many little girls I gave up that dream because we just couldn’t afford it. I ended up eventually joining cheerleading and I’m happy to say that cheerleading was a joy in my life for 5 years (I cheered in college) there are times though when I wonder…what if? What if I had the money to pay for training, coaching, mets and the rest? But, I didn’t.

- What amazes me about King Richard and Richard Williams, Venus and Serena’s father is the amount of focus and fath he had and I wanted to share what the lessons that I left with after watching the movie.

## Lesson #1-You Get One Big Ask

- Many people make the mistake of asking for too many favors from the same people. Instead, the goal is to understand that in reality you have one big “ask” or favor. In Richard’s case on two different occasions he asked for other people’s help with Venus and Serena’s careers. It’s shocking HOW FREAKING BIG THE ASK WAS and on two different occasions the people said “yes” without those people it’s highly unlikely that Venus and Serena would have progressed in their careers in the way that they did.

- Why did people say “yes” to Richard Williams’ ask? Because his entire family showed up 150% almost every single day for the dream-Venus and Serena’s dream of becoming the best in the world at tennis. People invest in people who show up. If you’re needing investment in a dream stop asking for money all the time and focus on the big ask. Be very careful about asking for money over and over again people will feel like they’re being used. Instead, think about that one big ask and show up for your dream so that it’s a no brainer for people to say “yes” when you ask.

## Lesson #2-Most People Won’t Understand Your Vision

- When you have a big dream, people aren’t going to understand your dream. There are many reasons for this. Dreams are specific to the dreamer, other people may be afraid for you or they might not understand your methods to attain your dream. The Williams family had so much going against them and they stayed focused. But, the other people surrounding them could have very easily railroaded their dream.

- When I quit my job and said that I was going to work for myself and work online…real talk a lot people thought I was nuts and it took a long time for some people in my life to “get it” and they only got it when I started getting results that they understood and cared about versus the results that I was looking at. When I was on PBSNews Hour with Pete aka Mr. Money Mustache on the most viewed PBS video ever-people understood that. When I worked with brands that they had heard of and got paid, that was a measurable achievement.

- Measurable achievements such as t.v. spots, awards, downloads and cash are the measurable wins that other people will look at before buying into your dream. This may differ from the things that you care about such as pursuing something you love, being the best, money, etc.

## Lesson #3-Lack of Resources Kills Dreams

- I talk about applying for grants and scholarships a lot on my social media feeds. The reason why I mention this so often is that there are a lot of people out there who don’t have relatives or friends that they can borrow from to fund their dreams. Grants and scholarships are an amazing way to fund parts of your dream that may be inaccessible to you otherwise. In fact, Jeff Bezos got startup cash from his family. I’ve received scholarships or grants for the following:
  - Conference attendance
  - Self-care/retreats
  - College
  - Outward Bound-An intensive outdoor education experience where I backpacked and camped with a small group a group of about six 13 year olds and 2 counselors for a total of 4 weeks across 14ers in Colorado
  - Up With People-I traveled around the US and the world for a year with a group of 130 people. We volunteered, stayed with host families and performed a musical. These people are literally family to me.
  - Courses
  - I literally can’t remember how many grants and scholarships that I’ve won because I’ve applied for so many.

- I’m not sure what my life would look like without having access to those funds.

- Always apply for grants and scholarships. For school, for your business, etc. Then, when you’re at a point in your business when you feel like this is unnecessary to do return the favor. When I hosted my Money on the Mountain Financial Retreat, I raised enough money so that attendees who wouldn’t have been able to pay for it could attend. I’ve done other things within my business so that it’s equitable and I share opportunities such as grants, etc. so that people are aware of them.

## Lesson #4-At the Same Time We’re Dreaming We Fight

- What are we fighting? Our doubts, our fears, the naysayers. It’s crazy to me how much Richard Williams had to fight to make his dream of raising two tennis champions become reality. But, what I hadn’t considered was how much his life factored into the goals and dreams he had for his daughters. When you dream big you put yourself out there for a lot of ridicule, mistreatment and naysayers. If we’re supporting the dreams of others we may share our fears and concerns with them from that lens. It’s not a surprise to me that the Williams family is so close and insular because you have to pick the company that you keep, carefully.

## Lesson #5-Sometimes the Path You’ve Chosen May Change

- I really should have said that “The path that you’ve chosen will always change” because it does. Holding too tightly to the dream may keep you from seeing a better way to achieve your goal or let it go. This was a very hard lesson for Richard Williams to learn and it almost cost him his relationship with Venus.

## 2 Bonus Lessons

- Don’t say “yes” to the first opportunity that comes your way. If you’ve been planting enough metaphorical seeds then another opportunity will likely be on its way. What does this look like?
  - Staying focused on your dream
  - Building, sustaining and nurturing your connections
  - Understanding your worth and where you’re at in your journey. Recently, I was on a Twitter thread where a business owner said that he paid .05-.08 cents a word for freelance work and then he said “I think this is a great rate.” Many of us pushed back and were like, no it’s not. Then, I thought about this more. This rate might be ideal for a beginner wanting to build their portfolio on a few projects. This rate is NOT good for someone who has been freelancing for 3 years and has built up an expertise or several types of expertise which would make this rate laughable.

- Atmosphere and rest impacts everything. There is a point in the movie when Oricine William (Venus and Serena’s mom) talks about the pace that they are working and how it’s not sustainable. Rest is a key component to success and so is the atmosphere literally around you as well as the people that you’re dealing with. Eventually, Richard Williams figures out a way to manage both issues and when I say this man is a genius, I mean, this man is a genius.

I truly loved this movie and I have so much respect for the amount of work it took the Williams Family to nurture so much success within each daughter. Richard Williams is a flawed man, but you can’t ignore the results. Have you watched the movie? What are your thoughts about the emotional and financial cost of having a dream?

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#### Michelle

I am an obsessive foodie, but not self-righteous with it, love travel, meeting new people, helping you look good, and am freaked out by people who don't enjoying reading...something! Grab a Perrier, read my blog, feel free to drop me a line! Hope to hear from you soon.

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