***Do not google Ron Jeremy on a work computer! Use your phone***
My colleague and I share custody of a fish and snail in our office. The fish’s name is Chunk and he is named that because he is kind of fat for a beta. The snail’s name is Ron Jeremy. We’ll get to why the snail is named Ron Jeremy in a moment.
Chunk and Ron Jeremy live a mellow life in a bowl. We feed them and talk to them to make sure that they get socialized properly. Our clients also like to say “Hi” to them.
Chunk enjoys swimming up to Ron Jeremy when he’s at the top of the tank and enjoys bumping him so that he falls to the bottom of the bowl. It’s freaking hilarious. Yes, it really happens.
So, one day I notice that Ron Jeremy’s antennae seems bigger than usual..in fact..it’s freaking enormous and makes me feel slightly disturbed. What.the hell. Is that thing???
I don’t know a lot about animal physiology but clearly there is something wrong with the snail. Even Chunk seems a bit disturbed and refrains from bumping Ron Jeremy when this new antennae is showing itself.
My colleague decides to investigate. We are shocked by what we find out. Snails can self-reproduce. That explains the day when the crazy cobweb stuff was at the bottom of the bowl that one day. Those were snail babies.
We discovered that the extra giant antennae is Ron Jeremy’s…ahem…man part, phallus, you get the picture. We have been knocking the bowl whenever he sticks it out because it’s disturbing to us and our clients. His man-part is always out now. He’s driving us crazy. We’ve begun taping the bowl to give him negative stimuli when it’s out. Nothing is working.
Ron Jeremy-you’re so nasty. Chunk just rolls with it. A snail and a fish tail.
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