For every person who decides to take an unconventional path, there will be moments when you question your decision. Or, maybe you just question your sanity. What the heck have I done by making this decision?
Changing Your Life Is Hard
When I decided to to quit my job at the end of last year I was quite simply burnt out. I was burn out on such an epic level that I almost wasn’t able to make a rational decision about my future. I just knew that I was “done” and that I had an idea that I wanted to try out in terms of how I would like to live my life.
As a recap (in case you’re new to TSMCP) here’s my story in 6 bullet points
- 2007-Worked great job for 5 years, was about to quit and move to New York City
- 2007-I had a bad…feeling..and decided to buy a cute (quirky and small) property and decided to stay at my job for just a little longer.
- 2008-The Great Recession-Oh Sh$t!
- 2014-A little longer became a pragmatic decision and a game changer for me. I ended up staying at my job an extra 5 years working a total of 10 years in that position.
- End of 2014 quit job due to epic burnout-I wanted “more” went to Hawaii and Australia to decompress and start my next chapter
- 2015-Self-Employed and started off with a “BANG!” I focused like crazy and made $6000 in May. Then summer hit…
Summer quite frankly almost derailed my self-employment goals because I started slacking. It was gradual…I didn’t pitch as much and I basically lost focus.
I’m Glad This Happened
The moment where you have to decide between quitting or committing.It was important for me to experience some level of pain in order to force a decision. Do I commit or do I quit and look for a regular job and feel good about what I did so far? In fact, I think most people find themselves at crossroads at different points throughout their lives. You can be at a crossroads professionally, personally, or physically.
I was at a crossroads with my previous position for 3 years before I made my final decision to leave and I almost made that decision too late. By too late I mean, I was very close to burning bridges with my friends and colleagues because I was not in the right frame of mind to continue doing that job. Because I was in a crappy frame of mind I know that my work suffered as well.
Has Freelancing Benefited Me…at All?
Going into this year I had some very specific goals that I was hoping to achieve. Those goals included:
- Spending more time with family and friends-I have definitely done this and I feel really good about reconnecting with people in my life who I love and admire and having them comment (sometimes in amazement) at how happy I seem. They enjoy my company a lot more now.
- Meet New People–I am happy to say that this has been going really well and I am meeting new people every week. The great thing about Denver is that people are really easy to meet and being consistent and “showing up” has been a great way to expand my circle
- Pushed Me Professionally-Yes. Freelancing is both hard and easy. The easy part is that you have to keep up a certain level of activity in order to have consistent income coming in. You wear all the hats. In my previous job I wore A LOT of hats so that wasn’t too scary for me. The hard part has been recognizing how hard I need to work to stay engaged in the process. Basically, I used to work like a DOG so now having so much time was kind of a Jedi-Mind trick for me. I now know that I have to work harder (for me) in order to stay engaged.
- Feeling Good ALL THE TIME-I feel good all the time. Like really zenned out. Like I do yoga every day. I feel good even when I’m broke LOL. I just feel so happy all of the time. I was managing hundreds of people’s needs at any given time in my previous position (worked in a university). Now, I can manage my health and wellness AND I can manage my client’s needs much better because I’m dealing with a much smaller group of people.
As I hit this moment of reflection I am amazed by a couple of “wins” that happened that helped solidify my decision to continue on this path. I should mention my long-term goal does NOT include freelancing. It is what I’m doing between now and my end goal that I’ve never really mentioned on this site.
Some Wins:
- Beginning to switch to freelance clients on a value based invoicing system-no more hourly. Period.
- Wonderful clients who have enabled me to learn as I go (even if they didn’t realize it!)
- Have just received notice that I will be speaking at 2 different conferences this fall and I plan on speaking at FinCon16 (finally!) Am thinking of topics now.
- Haven’t gained any weight and feel very healthy.
- Websites are growing! This was a huge goal for me for this year.
What’s My “Why?”
I am very clear on what my “why?” is for now and the future. I have five very specific reasons why I’ve decided to pursue a freelancing career at this specific moment in time. I won’t share all of those reasons but I will share one: my future family. Let’s be clear, I’m not dating anyone and no babies are arriving any time soon. But, I am very aware that I am preparing for the “next step.” I want to be a lot more deliberate in the way that I craft my life from this point forward. I would like to work from home and I would like to have the ability to work from wherever I might find myself. I’ve already spent 10 years of feeling like I was in prison-I never want to feel like that again in my life.
Now What?
Now, I will use the process that I embraced when I first returned from Australia. It worked and I have some tweaks to that process that I think will help me be a lot more successful at finding clients that I can serve well and whose mission and products I can genuinely stand behind and support with 100% authenticity.
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I didn’t realize freelancing wasn’t your end game. Back to full time?
Nope. Will tell you at the Conference LOL!
Michelle, I’m a firm believer that the line between point A and point B is never straight. You always need to adjust your course regularly. Sometimes we see we’re off track quickly, sometimes we don’t. At least you know where you’re going and WHY, that’s more than most people…
Don’t get too down on yourself if you take the scenic route. Sometimes that’s when you learn the most.
Diane, you’re speaking the truth. Every time I end up at point B it’s never how I imagine myself getting there. I am my worst critic and I push myself pretty hard. But, I will say that I need to start “enjoying the ride.” I’m just staying focused on my “why’s” They are pretty big too me and will keep me moving.
Why not Fincon16???? You can also add Izea (or whatever it is in Orlando) next year. That looks fantastic. We’ll be ready by then!
That’s a typo LOL! Will change that now.
Michelle, it seems like freelancing has done you great things such as meeting new people each week and feeling good all the time. That latter one is what I want to experience in freelancing. 😀 Congrats Michelle!
This is true, but now I’m focusing on making $$$ am glad that summer is wrapping up.
I haven’t even really gotten started “full-time” freelancing. We just moved a few weeks ago, are still in temporary corporate housing. It won’t be for another 1.5 weeks that things will settle – e will move to our more permanent rental, both girls will have their school situations straight, and I can start focusing on a regular routine of blogging, pitching, and completing assignments. Then FinCon hits the next week. I’m basically saying I’m not starting “full-time” until after FinCon.
I say aaaaaalll of that to say – every day, I feel like I’m at the crossroads of quitting. I know it’s just my stress levels talking. A conventional job is the easy button. So when my scanner won’t scan a contract or my emails to a prospective client keep bouncing (because I’m an unapproved sender), I think “I should go get a REAL job”. But I have to remind myself of the why. Good thing I have a pretty decent post I can go back to reference 😉
My future family and my 5 why’s are what I had to be mindful of and focused on. I am very serious about this and making a lifestyle change on this level is not easy and I think I’ve forgotten how it feels to have to push hard in this way in the work “sector” of my life. I worked for 10 years at the same place and while I had a lot of challenges at my job that I can share face to face-making professional pivots are notoriously intense…until you make the breakthrough. I feel like I’m getting close to that breakthrough so I’ve decided to commit. See you soon!!