It was the “calm water” sample at my local grocery store that really got me thinking that you don’t always need gates to live in a gated community. What is “calm water?” And why did we need it? Everyone was wearing Lululemon yoga pants at the store and looked pretty chilled out. I proceeded to walk to the other part of the store. Made some fresh almond butter, wrapped up my shopping and wandered home.
On my way back I was greeted by various random people in their yards, clearly feeling secure and safe in their environment. While there is crime in my area, I am keenly aware that if I called the police they would arrive within 5 minutes or less.
People walking their 2 dogs and their one kid litter my neighborhood like leaves on the ground during Fall. Dogs and kids aren’t cheap, I should know-I don’t have either right now and am in the process of preparing for kids…in the future.
People ride amazing racing bikes or drive by with their gear attached to their cars. Snowboards and skis in the winter, racing bikes and camping gear during the warmer months. Those activities aren’t cheap either.
I am not rich by any means. I have months where I struggle due to overspending, or lack of financial focus. I do own in this area but I own a place that I call “the tiny place.” I should mention that I lived in this area during high school but that my mom worked several jobs to make that happen.
When I talk to my neighbors we exchange stories of fun stuff done, places traveled to, and future adventures being planned. No one is cocky or self-effacing. It’s just a given that this is our normal.
There are moments though, when I catch myself thinking certain things like “they don’t live in this area” when I see people dressed a certain way. Or, that yard is awful (usually mine-my upstairs neighbors are slow to do the lawn) how embarrassing. I realize in those moments that I straddle an uneasy chasm between feeling guilty about the life I’m living and at times unapologetic about the sense of class confidence my neighborhood provides me.
To be honest, my lifestyle doesn’t show the complete picture of my financial life. It doesn’t reflect my debt, my addiction to finding good deals, and my love of frugal approaches to life. Unless you asked me you wouldn’t know that I worked almost 40 hours a week, every week during college. Or that I worked a part-time job for 3 years after I got my current job because I was scared to slide back to the financial hell I had experienced after grad school.
I am able to travel because of work trips and saved vacation hours. I stopped shopping for fashion for a year. I bring lunch to work almost everyday and I don’t have a car. I make coffee at work (from whole beans…yes, we have a bean grinder). And then go hiking in the mountains when I’m stressed.
In recent years I felt a low grade guilt or discomfort about the good things that I had earned. As if I shouldn’t live a life full of abundance that reflects what I want to enjoy in life. Then I realized that I don’t feel badly at all about how I am living my life-I’ve worked hard, very hard for everything that I have.
And even though I’m not rich I realize at different odd moments that sometimes you don’t have to have a lot of money to live in a gated community. Sometimes proximity is everything.
As I pay off my debt that I amassed during my college/post college years and student loans I find myself becoming a lot more comfortable with the lifestyle that I have. I’ve sacrificed a lot and worked hard.
I wonder who is being kept out of this un-gated (making up words) community and lifestyle because of circumstance, lack of access, and lack of proximity. It isn’t fair…but, life isn’t fair.
So, from time to time in the stillness of the night I find my mind wandering to the following question: “Am I wrong to enjoy this?”
My answer…
I’m Michelle and I live in a gated community without gates and I’m ok with that.
Do You Live In A Gated Community Without Gates?
How does it make you feel?
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Mine is weird. If you were to pick my neighborhood up and plop it in the midwest, it would totally look like a middle class neighborhood. Probably with homes around 200-250K, but since this is LA and where my neighborhood is located, it’s considered wealthy by the rest of america standards, but still kind of middle class with LA standards. I do not feel guilty living here because it’s a safe, friendly neighborhood, but I rent and by no means am I wealthy. My neighbor to the north, manhattan beach, is kind of considered to be snooty though. I’d still live there if I could…it’s pretty, although this area totally lacks diversity.
I hadn’t even thought about thinking about the same neighborhood and imagining it in another area. I think though, there is a very deep sense of security in this neighborhood. Or, a lot of credit cards!
I love my neighbourhood but it’s definitely an interesting mix of people. But what’s so cool about it is everything I could possibly want is walking distance. I don’t feel like I lack anything and I’m really loving being able to afford to live there.
I love where I live, I wouldn’t necessary say it’s diverse but the people are super nice and I feel calm and happy. At the end of the day isn’t that what it’s all about? Just being chill and living the dream. I very, very lucky that I was able to purchase the little place when I did.
You make a really good point-people do want to live in communities that reflect the socioeconomic status that they have. It’s interesting though that in the book “The Millionaire Next Door” those millionaires opt to live in neighborhoods that are much more affordable-even though they could pay more and live in higher end communities.