It doesn’t escape me that I wrote a post called “What’s your excuse?” I just never thought I had to call myself out on my own sh$t. Bummer.
I thought that I had committed, really committed to the idea and process of getting into shape. I even have a SparkPeople account! In fact, I had resolved to eat 1500 calories a day and work out a couple of times a week. I even signed up for a 1/2 marathon and slowly began to train for it. The thing is-the kind of physical changes I expected didn’t show themselves. This shouldn’t have become a shock to me.
My excuses piled up:
- It got too hot
- The floods happened (but not in my neighborhood)
- I went to NYC (we DID walk a lot though)
- I went to FinCon13-I even went to the gym…once!
- I went to Montana
- Then, I got super, super sick. For 3 freaking weeks. Maybe it was Swine Flu? Whatever it was, it sucked.
- I didn’t want to miss my t.v. shows-what if someone leaks the plot?? With the exception of SCANDAL all other shows can be watched on HULU.
Basically, with the exception of getting sick-which is legit, I hadn’t committed to getting fit. I knew that I might have a commitment issue because I wasn’t getting any fitness results. I’ve been uber fit before and I knew what it takes to get fit and what I was doing wasn’t it. When I was uber fit nothing, and I mean nothing got between me and “the burn.”
Then, a couple of things happened. I had a couple of “life will slap you in the face” and call you out moments. The first moment happened in front of my colleague at work.
Something had fallen behind a low lying cabinet. I decided to get it. In order to get it I had to hurl my currently ungainly body onto the cabinet, lean over and pick up the item.
Then I heard a mighty RIP. What the heck was that? My colleague/friend/ and officemate was trying really hard not to bust out laughing. My pants had split. Basically, they had exploded in a mighty rip at the back of my pants.
Thank God I was wearing tights.
The second incident happened when I was telling a story on Thanksgiving to my mom about a person I hadn’t seen in about 8 months. This person had gained about 70 pounds. No joke. I was mentioning this because I was concerned about this person’s mental well being. Then, my mom, in the way that moms do said the following, “You shouldn’t throw stones.” DAAAMMMNNN!! Ouch! My mom just Tiger-Mommed Me. I was pissed off at her because that was rough. It was ruthless…but she wasn’t wrong. She did agree after hearing the complete story that the person I was concerned about did have some pressing issues in addition to the weight. The “damage” was done though. I had to stop looking at other people and deal with my own sh$t.
The third and final thing that I came up with is directly related to my small wins with my personal finances. In the past year I have paid off 3 out of 4 of my credit cards despite going on extensive travels. Nothing got in my way of working on succeeding at my finance goals this year. Nothing.
So what’s the deal with my fitness? It’s obvious-I still haven’t committed 100%
I had goals but I didn’t break down those goals into a workable plan. The irony doesn’t escape me as that is what has been working for my finances. Signing up for a race is not a goal. Completing the race, at a certain pace that I have to train for is the goal. How I achieve that is the plan.
I am beginning the whole process again. It kind of sucks. But, what I was doing wasn’t working. That’s life. Instead of giving up I have to change my plan that I need to stick to.
Here is my new plan:
- Schedule exercise classes-in addition to going to the gym. I’ve always enjoyed the energy of exercise classes. I loved going to dance classes, yoga classes, pole dancing classes, etc. I enjoyed having a routine, a place to go and meeting people who I wouldn’t normally meet.
- Move during the work day. This is a big one. I work in an office and I’ve gotten into the habit of sitting, and sitting, and sitting all day long. I have an $8.99 pedometer that I have been using to keep track of my daily steps. Ten Thousand steps a day ( about 2 miles a day)
- Reexamine my food intake. I eat good food and I eat pretty clean but I’m clearly eating too much of something. The big ones that I’m looking at are:
- Cashews/dried nuts. I love them!! I could go through 1/2 a can a day. Obviously that’s too many.
- Meat-I was a vegetarian for 5 years once in my life. I was also pretty skinny and super healthy! I have been eating a lot more meat recently than I ever have. Think, turkey bacon, lamb steak, chicken. Yummy! I’ve decided to switch to a vegetarian/vegan diet about 5 days a week. I will eat really lean meats (turkey/chicken/ and fish) on the other days. Luckily, I enjoy cooking and I did the Vegan challenge last year so I think that I will be able to eat well and enjoy it.
- Chocolate-I love my chocolate. Maybe I don’t need to have chocolate every single day? I might need to keep chocolate out of the house in order to not tempt myself.
- Sugar-I wouldn’t say that I eat tons of sugary foods. I do enjoy sugar with a cup of tea or a couple of cups of coffee a day with creamer (that has sugar in it).
- Exercise-I’m going to exercise every day. Right now I can’t do a few days a week. I need to get into the habit of exercise a little bit every day. That’s what I used to do. I won’t push it, I just need to make this a daily priority.
- My goal is to lose 7 pounds a month until April 1, 2014 when my No Shopping Challenge ends. I think that is a slow, sustainable, and healthy way to lose weight.
The last and most important thing I have decided is to keep this new fitness process to myself-with the exception of my blog peeps. I just feel like my friends and family want me to keep my expectations low just in case I don’t succeed and I’m disappointed. Maybe my friends and family are tired of hearing about my weight? I don’t need that right now. I need people who believe in my audaciousness and aren’t worried about how my feelings would be hurt if I don’t succeed.
I don’t want to become another unhealthy American. I’m scared that I’ve failed myself. So, I refuse to quit.
Again, I’m keeping my journey to myself except when I share with you.
Yep, those are my pants. That’s a huge rip. It was really embarrassing. I laughed but really felt like crying.
(My pic)
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Great post Michelle – just what I need to read today! I keep making excuses too!
I’m aiming for 1500 calories a day, but keep going over it. By.a.lot. I’ll join you in your goal of losing 7lbs a month until April if you don’t mind – we can help each other to stay accountable.I have a wedding to go to in April so that would work out quite well 🙂
Good luck – you can do this!
PS. I’m totally obsessed with Scandal – it’s so good (and WOW every week!!)
Thanks Laura! We are now a team. Let’s get some other people to join up!! My mom totally Tiger-Mommed me and it was rough. I am really, really motivated this time and I think that just being over feeling this way physically when I am beginning to feel good about my finances because of the small wins make the weight bother me even more. I feel like the weight is a symbol of times past and I am over the past-am looking forward to the future.
OMG that must’ve been so embarrassing 🙁 I am sorry you haven’t met your goals, but so proud you have shared your journey with us and called yourself out. Weight is a tricky thing, especially for females. I am sure being veggie for 5 days a week will get you there in no time. Also, exercise is key. I haven’t biked to work in the past week because it’s been 16-24 degrees and I nearly froze the first day that happened. I am worried about what will happen to my body now that I am not biking 8 miles a day. I know you can do this, Michelle!
I was pretty embarrassed and I realized that doing weight loss, money, dating, and career at the same time would be a lot to handle. I’ve known my colleague/friend for years now but I was still pretty sad about the whole thing. I just played it off. It has been FREEZING cold think -11 for days now. So, I haven’t been able to ride either. I have been going to the gym and getting my workouts in. I use to be uber fit so I know what I have to do but there is a level of mental energy that I need to tap into so that I can rock it. I think the anger and embarrassment will push me through the proverbial wall that I kept hitting before. Thanks for the good vibes.
Well obviously I knew some of this story. I’m totally right there with you on the food thing. I know what I “need” to do, but I don’t always do it. Then I see my friends in their bikinis with their flat abs and get re-motivated, then fall back into old patterns. Repeat cycle. I do manage to break even because I do work out a lot, but it’s a bit easier because of my schedule. I do agree that doing a little each day gives you that all important inertia. It HAS to become a habit like brushing your teeth. But as they say, it’s 80/20. 80% food and 20% working out, so geez if I just ate a little better… You know I’m cheering you on Michelle, and if you need someone to be accountable to or anything else, just let me know! BTW will you do a guest blog for me on Healthy, Fit and Frugal sometime?
It’s so frustrating! I have to admit that I have focused a heck of a lot more than before. I’m still really annoyed with myself, pissed off, and a little angry! How did I let it get so bad? But, that seems to be the story of my entire life! I’m pulling it together but it def. has been a journey and it’s a hell of lot more mental than I would like. I’ve discovered that I need to do something every day-I can’t exercise every other day…I don’t get into the habit of hardcore workouts when I do it every other day.I would love to do a post for Healthy, Fit and Frugal!! I’m also stepping up my 1/2 marathon training. I will be running and walking this first half but I am thinking about doing a destination race in August…not 100% sure as the location won’t be cheap!
Awesome!! I’m glad you want to do a guest post! Another goal I have for 2014 is a mud run/obstacle challenge so if you ever want to do one let me know!
The Mud runs look like so much fun!!! I don’t want to do Tough Mudder though-am afraid of the electrical part of the race.
That sucks! I’ve gone out with holes already in my pants, but like you I too had tights underneath. Thank goodness for winter.
I can’t give or take workout advice, because I got into my best shape at my current job. I work in an ER and do not sit at all during work. Sometimes I might not get breaks just because it is so busy. I know once I go back to an office job I will definitely have to set up goals and stick to them–something I have trouble doing at times.
All of the sitting at work has been a huge problem! When it is warm out I go hiking during my lunch hour because we’re close to some great trails. The issue is that I am active but I need to actually work out HARDCORE to actually get my weight to start shifting off. I’ve also noticed my thighs rubbing together-basically I hate my level of fitness right now. Living in Colorado also make me feel a little more anxious about it because so many people are so fit. I just have to stick with my goals, focus, and execute.
I am so on this journey with you, Michelle! Losing weight has been so hard for me to commit to lately. The holidays are definitely not helping 🙁
Lisa, it has been such a pain! You can join Laura and I on this journey. We’re in it together!
Oh no, that sucks about the pants! I had a moment where it didn’t rip, but the button popped off – in front of people! – and it was equally embarrassing. And I, too, have quite the ‘no-filter’ mom when it comes to weight stuff, so I totally get you. Those sound like great strategies, and I agree that eating clean and daily (or consistent) exercise is key. You can do this, Michelle!
You won’t believe this-I had ANOTHER pair explode! That pair was just worn out though 🙂 Yep, buttons flying everywhere, pants exploding not good. My mom has no filter but I have to admit that it was the kick in the pants (ahem) that I needed-LOL.Thanks for the encouragement, I’m focused, but dealing with: money, love, health, and my career is a lot to do at one time.