Happiness is the Way
I am not Pollyanna. I, at times sink into deep states of depression, filled with melancholy, and moments of angst. Those angsty moments have a soundtrack filled with songs by Prince, Hole, Nirvana, and The Smiths. I’ve noticed that my down in the dumps music has been making a rotation recently and I’m not 100% sure why.
And, I’ve come to the conclusion in recent years that even though I live with the idea that happiness is the way of being I want to exist in, that sometimes you’re just not going to be happy. And, it’s ok.
Happiness is the Way
Is a somewhat meta way of saying that I set my intentions to be happy, as often as I can be in a world that seems to want to steal my joy. When I noticed my music changing and some of my habits changing…for the worse… I decided to embrace it head on and think about what I may be unhappy with.
What is Not Making Me Happy
- Single life–Am really over it. But, the question I had to ask myself is…so what am I going to do about it? I hate online dating (websites) but, I’ve never tried dating apps. I think that I may give one a try during a trial period. I feel like an app will be much, much faster and I will avoid the bullsh$t endless emails back and forth. Basically, online dating purgatory that feels like work and you never end up going on an actual date. I love apps so I’m trying to figure out which one would be a good fit for me. One of my FinCon friends actually did a shout out for singles on her Facebook page and it was brilliant! I discovered that I was not the only one having a difficult time with this. Happily, I have noticed that I’ve been approached a lot more often when I’m out and about and was asked out yesterday so hopefully the tide is turning. By the way, I’m glad that I was single for the season that I was single. I had a ton of stuff that I was dealing with. Adding another person to the mix would not have been ideal. Now, I’m feeling comfortable with the idea of adding a “plus one” to my life.
- Those final 25 pounds-I am currently working very hard to rid myself of the final 25 pounds from my 50-pound weight gain from my old job. While I feel good about myself, that weight has an “energy” connected to it that I no longer want to have in my life. I gained that weight while I was depressed, deep in debt, anxious, and the list goes on. Life is A LOT better now and I’m just over the physical differences that I feel with that extra weight. I feel it especially in my knees and stomach area. It’s driving me crazy. End of story. Fortunately, I do enjoy being active, but I’ve had to make some switches so that I can get some weight loss results.
- Earning More-This is actually a new concern. I switched my blog to Michelle is Money Hungry because from now on I am very hyper-focused on growing my earnings. This is forcing me to face some money-related fears and stories that I subconsciously living. Mainly, that I wouldn’t be able to earn more. This is ridiculous, of course, but I would be disingenuous if I didn’t acknowledge that I had a money mindset issue that I was dealing with.
I am so happy with this list of issues!! When I first started blogging my list was so freaking long, complex, and tiring.
My Unhappy List from Before
Was really long and really overwhelming.
- I was way over-extended and dealing with a ridiculous number of debts.
- I was spending way more than I was making.
- I had no time for myself or to connect with others.
- I was deeply depressed and filled with anxiety due to an extremely stressful job and commute.
- I was super lonely. Because I was working so much, it was really hard to spend time with my friends and family.
- I was physically and mentally unwell due to the job, the commute, and the debts. It was just too much.
- I didn’t know how to drive. I had developed an anxiety about actual driving AND the cost of buying a car.
I’m not ashamed to admit that I was struggling and that I had nowhere to go but up. In my D.O.N.E podcast (for my online business community) episode with Lindsay from The Notorious D.E.B.T. she talks about a similar sense of there was no pride left and, nowhere to go but up.
My Vision Board (link)
I created one with creating, sustaining, and fueling my happiness as my ultimate goal. I prioritized:
- Me-My fitness, time to read, mental well-being, time to think, and manage my mental health.
- The people in my life. I was concerned (rightfully) that I was losing touch with the people that I love, because I didn’t spend enough time with them.
- Nature-If I don’t connect with nature on a weekly basis…I don’t feel right.
- Serving and helping others-I don’t want to add to the negative energy out there. I’m on a mission to be as good a person as I can be and help people in whatever way that I can. Currently, I do that through sharing ways to cut expenses, supporting future entrepreneurs, and just by…being a nice person. Seriously, nice people rock!
- Paying off my debts-This is taking longer than I would like but, it’s getting done. As each debt goes away I feel freer and freer. It’s the best feeling ever.
Each day I focused on taking action towards my goals. Some days were more successful than others. But, with each day I began to feel happier. I’ve learned from this experience that it’s important to prioritize you! Not to get distracted by all of the shiny objects, the time sucks, and people are energy drains.
In the pursuit of happiness, I’ve learned that simplicity is key. Owe less, own less, eat less, slow down, do one thing at a time and do it well.
You Deserve to Be Happy
I had to tell myself that in the face of people wanting to kill my joy. Happiness is the Way. And, yes, I take a lot of yoga LOL!
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