How Work Policies Against Black Women Birthed a Love of the Soft Life

“Negro women to be put to work” shouts a small headline on what looks like is the front page of The Greenville News Newspaper published on Wednesday, October 2, 1918. It is February 2024 as I’m reading from a crinkled copy of a paper that has seems be digital microfiche. What strikes me about the article is that It’s one month before the end of World War I. The impact of the war is being felt in a number of different ways Stateside and one unexpected impact is the access to free or inexpensive labor has shrunk and that has left people angry and frustrated about how their workload has increased.

In this episode of Vixens, Virgins and Vigilantes: The Impact of Policy on American Women’s Money” I’m exploring how policy designed to benefit others has influenced the “Soft Life Movement” that many African-American women have embraced in recent years. I’m going to share what the Soft-Life Movement is, more about past and present policy impacting Black women’s choices and where do we go from here.

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What is the Soft Life?

In researching this and thinking about the Soft Life, I found that there are a number of references to this phrase originating out of the Nigerian Influencer community. I’m thinking that a Nigerian content creator coined the phrase. If you know who this person is-please let me know so that I can update my show notes. Please note that for this episode and conversation I’m specifically talking about African-American women and historic legislation, unspoken rules that have governed our lives in direct and in-direct ways. For me, the Soft Life is the ability to focus on and lean into complete self-care. You’re able to lead with self first.

Dominique Fluker wrote an article for Essence Magazine about the Soft Life and one of the things she discussed was Black women’s rejection of the Super Woman trope. What I loved about her piece was the idea that Black women were focused on their peace. And in the context of this conversation, work has been one of the most harmful spaces for Black women. In fact, one of the data points that I think about and stays rent free in my mind is the following. After the COVID work from home lockdowns were loosening up and employers were actively looking to transition employees back to work, there was some resistance. In one poll it was found that 97% of African American workers did not want to return to the office and preferred to continue working from home.

I would like to share my work experience prior to COVID that might give some insight into why wellness and work are so intertwined for Black women. Before I get started, I do want to acknowledge that work can be challenging for everyone, that the goal of work is to get tasks done and the focus is not about the feelings and needs of the employees-especially in the United States.

In my previous role, I worked as a Student Services Coordinator at a large university. My role was to support adult students coming to the United States to learn English as a Second Language. These students ranged in ages from 17(ish) to around 65 years old on average. In many respects, it was a wonderful job. I loved it…until I didn’t. Like many jobs there were a number of factors that impacted my ability to be successful in the role.

• Cultural isolation-I was the only Black person working in my department. One thing that made it workable is that the students we served were from all over the world. Happily, I wasn’t the only Black person on the building.

• Hostile colleagues-Fortunately, I wonderful colleagues…except for two who were incredibly hostile towards me. One was my direct superior and their hostility was cloaked in their ambition. How did my performance impact their professional goals? The other colleague was worse. For five years they would pretend they didn’t see me when we walked in the halls, sigh and rolled their eyes when I spoke in work meetings and road blocked all interactions that were interlinked between our roles.

• My own professional ambitions-I was constantly trying to be the best and do the best that I could in the role but often felt unsupported working towards my own professional goals of helping the students have a safe and somewhat problem free experience in the United States related to the services we provided them to allow them to study here.

• Work load and care for the students-I truly cared about the students that I worked with but the work load eventually became unsustainable. No one could be successful working with that many people.

• Metrics for success-It felt like it was impossible to receive good reviews for the work that I was doing with so much heart.

Then there was the physical stress that the job was having on my body and mind. The last year at my job you would find me hiking for 2 hours every day during lunch hour (hey, I’m in Colorado) just trying to manage my mind and my stress levels. When I eventually quit the job it took a year for my body and mind to feel right.

I feel like the poster child for embracing the Soft Life.

What does policy have to do with any of this? In my opening comments I share a historic policy enacted in Greenville, South Carolina during the 1st World War. Black women were staying at home and pursuing rest, what looked like leisure and taking care of their families. They were able to do this because their husbands were serving in the military and sending money back to their families. That money allowed these women to stop doing the hard work they often found themselves doing. They were no longer cleaning homes, taking care of kids or being hired to take care of the various tasks that the wealthier women, white women in the town were able to pay other people to do.

Those Black women were living the Soft Life.

One important point that I would like to bring up was that this labor had previously been free. Enslaved Africans were forced to provide free labor and if there’s an argument that the memory of this harm is still in our DNA-I would would 100% agree that it is still being felt to this day.

What is notable about the article in The Greenville News is that the women are called a “Class of Loafers” in today’s language would mean-lazy. And the city was able to successfully pass an ordinance making Black women work.

But, these types of ordinances, bills and work requirements continue to show up in laws that are being made today. Here are some examples of these types of laws and policies in forms that you may not have considered and if you’re an American listening to this episode-these policies may resonate with you as well.

• No Federally Mandated Vacation Time-This shocks my friends from other so-called “Western” Nations. The United States has no mandated vacation time. Business typically give 10 days which you can’t really do much with especially if you have kids who get sick, family or just are an adult human dealing with the normal shit that happens in adult lives. We get so little rest.

• Work requirements tied to welfare benefits-During the Reagan and Clinton years in particular, the Welfare Queen trope was directly tied to the idea that an inordinate number of Black women were receiving welfare benefits despite the fact that White citizens receive the most welfare benefits.

• Forced almost free prison labor-Did you know that Tilapia is a huge industry in Colorado with prisoners doing the work?

• Unspoken Policy of Making It Difficult to Take Time Off-Americans are notorious for not taking time off partly because they are afraid of the reprucussions.

When I think about why the Soft Life has become so popular with African-American women, I can tell you why.

• Having the ability to set boundaries around what you give your energy to and leading with self first.

• Having autonomy over the physical spaces you show up in. Can you imagine all of the spit that was in the food of the women whose homes those Black women were forced to work in? Even though they could afford not to work. Their choice was taken away from them.

• Saying “yes” to having support within the home. Traditionally, family members.

• Yes, to all the candles, massages, retreats and more.

Black Women and the Soft Life

If you’re a GenX African-American woman or older, it’s very likely that you remember watching women in your family working in other people’s homes. Or, maybe your relatives found themselves working in a factory or working several jobs as they focused on bettering their lives.

My relatives definitely did all of the above. What I realize though is that as we transitioned to so-called “White Collar” work, there was a lie that was told about it. That it would be easier. And while in some ways it is, in other ways it’s just as difficult a space to be in safely as our authentic selves. There is a reason why African-American women are flocking in droves to entrepreneurship.

As I end this episode I leave you with the following questions:

• What is soft life for you?

• What policies do you think are designed to keep women from doing what they would like to do?

• Are you paying attention to these policies and fighting against them?

• How can we change this?

• How are we complicit in potentially causing harm to others? I’m including everyone in this question.

My Own Soft Life Design

I thought I would end this episode with a reflection of how I view Soft Life. I don’t consider it an anti-work movement. Instead, I feel like it compliments the challenges that come up as we navigate around work/life balance. The professional goals that we’re focusing on as well as the personal goals that we have for ourselves.

• We’re allowed to focus on our needs so that we show up better for the other people in our lives.

• It’s 100% ok to ask for help within our homes/with our families/etc. as long as we respect that it’s a mutually beneficial exchange. We are no better than the person who is helping us out.

• Intentionally setting money aside for: massages, spa days, vacations, staycations, etc. Is important.

• Candles rock (just be careful when burning them)

• Take your time. If you have vacation,PTO or other time that you could take off-do. Or, find a new job that won’t penalize you for showing up as your best self at work

Your Soft Life focus shouldn’t be harmful to your finances.

Thank you so much for listening this episode of Michelle is Money Hungry, Vixens Virgins and Vigilantes: The Impact of Policy on American Women’s Money. Make sure to listen to the previous episode where I discuss how Taylor Swift’s IP Victory may have an unintended impact on future artists contracts and the unspoken policy connected to owning artist’s intellectual property for as long as possible. I’ve linked to the episode in this week’s show notes.