Now, I’m not asking you to embrace discomfort like wearing wet jeans and walk around for awhile or washing your hair and leaving it wet when you go outside into the cold.
So, before I even get started with this post I will answer the question that is on your mind right now. And that question probably is “Why does Michelle want to make my life any harder than it is?”
My response to you would be:
“How hard is your life…really?“
Despite everything that Americans complain about we actually live very cushy lives. Some examples of that would be the following:
- There is food everywhere-Even though the quality can be questionable (fast food). The fact is we have access to so much food that we can eat incessantly. Now I don’t advise that, but we do have that option.
- We have running water…everywhere! You can easily wash your hands, drink clean water, or take a shower without having to get a pail and collect the water
- The majority of us either own a washing machine and dryer or have access to facilities so that we can wash and dry our clothing. And even though it’s quaint to hang your clothes out to dry in Europe, we don’t have to do this unless we really want to
- We have tons of clothes-I have lived in Europe and the average American has 3 times as many clothing items as the average European. Now, the quality could also be questionable but we will never be naked…unless we want to be 🙂
In our continuous pursuit to make our lives easier we have forgotten the following:
Discomfort is where the magic happens!
What you consider discomfort depends on your personal situation. Whenever I have been in a situation of extreme discomfort and was able to figure out a way to push through that situation those moments were the moments in my life that I’ve grown the most.
Have you read inspirational stories about people who have succeeded beyond their wildest dreams who came from: extreme poverty, immigrated to another country, decided to say no to something that they really loved, or just embraced a challenge that everyone said they couldn’t complete?
Those individuals embraced whatever discomfort that they were experiencing and decided that they were going to kick some metaphorical a@@ to push through whatever challenge that they were dealing with. Some challenges could include: living in poverty, losing weight, having a low paying job, or wanting to find love.
In fact, I love reading stories about people who triumph over extreme situations because these stories prove that extraordinary effort and focus can lead to successful outcomes.
So I decided to take a look at my life to see if I had situations were I have maintained or introduced discomfort into my life. I realize that I have always had some aspects of my life that other people would consider hard to deal with because of the perceived discomfort level.
- No car-I don’t own a car. But, I can walk everywhere I need to go or take public transit. I also can use Uber/Lyft/Taxi for night time. When I was working at my last job I didn’t have to pay for public transit because they paid for our transit costs. This saved me thousands of dollars over many years.
- Tiny Home-I own a little place that I lovingly call the Shire! It’s small, cozy, and clean. It also has doubled in value. I love this place because it was exactly what I needed for the time of my life that I purchased it. It continues to be a safe haven and a place of calm for me. For most people my place would be too small to live in (495 square feet) but I love it! And when I buy my next place I would like to purchase a similar property.
- Staying in youth hostels-While I do use AirBnB I also stay in youth hostels when I travel. This takes some consideration as I’m not 20 years old anymore. So, I usually stay in a room with no more than 3 additional people or get my own room. These are much cheaper than hotels and my primary purpose for my room is to sleep. I usually am gone for the majority of the day when traveling. I also meet interesting new people when I stay in hostels. Currently I am staying at hostel in Melbourne, Australia and while the majority of the guests are in their 20’s I’ve seen a number of people in their 50’s and 60’s a young mother with her 6 year old daughter, and other older couples.
The more uncomfortable I get the harder I work for whatever it is that I want. Basically, discomfort creates a since of urgency in dealing with whatever problem/issue/concern that you don’t want to have continuing in your life.
How To Introduce Discomfort Into Your Life:
- Do a No Shopping Challenge-I stopped shopping for a year. A freaking year, and let me tell you-I really liked shopping prior to that. But, I wanted to prove that I could do this and it became a matter of pride to complete this challenge. So, I stepped up and got it done.
- Grocery Shop Only Once A Week-I am amazed at how quickly people shut this idea down. I think that it’s partly habit oriented and fear oriented…I won’t have enough food!! My food won’t be fresh! AAGGHHH!. But, if you are a typical American than you have more than enough food in your home to do this. I’ve been a lot of American homes and I have very rarely been in one that didn’t have a substantial amount of items in the: pantry/freezer/refrigerator. Just make a meal plan after looking at what you already have, go to the grocery store to supplement those items with veggies and fruit and suck it up. You’ll be fine.
- Walk or Ride Your Bike-To destinations that are close to you instead of driving. We are a very car oriented culture but sometimes I’m amazed at how often people will drive short distances (and waste money on gas) because they don’t want to carry something back
- Quit Your Job-Typically you should have another job lined up before doing this! But, if you’re going to quit your job I’m pretty sure you’ll want to eat and will work hard to: find another job, side hustle, grow a business, etc. to make money happen
Discomfort will make or break you. Most people will rise to the occasion and dig deep to make what they want happen. Other people will be broken by the discomfort and focus on what’s not working instead of creating solutions.
What type of person are you?
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Michelle, that’s really discomfort. I agree that this discomfort that we choose can make or break us depending on our perspective. It’s a matter of choice if this discomfort can help us achieve financial goals and we are happy about and satisfied with it. And it’s fine. Go for it.
I have a level of discomfort concerning some financial issues that have reached a breaking point for me. So, it’s a make or break year in terms of that.
I think discomfort can help you realize how very little you need. Food and shelter seem like everything when you’ve been out in the cold or hungry.
I find that everything gets really clear when you go through some pain.
Even when we have a ton of food in this house, my kids will try to convince me that I need to go to the store to get more. They aren’t spoiled by any means, but our middle- upper middle lifestyle has definitely warped their perspective.
It’s also hard because your kids are little and cute! Who could look at those faces and say “no”? I wonder about how to safely create limits for children without freaking them out-it depends on the age of the kiddo. For your little ones I guess everything would have to be under the heading of a game. Like the “we have to eat everything in the house game!” and at the end of the period of time for the game there could be a reward.
I love this article, Michelle. I think my family and I could use some discomfort in some areas – namely the size of our house. We are in he smallest house we’ve ever been in, but I think we could make it work in a much smaller house, saving is mortgage, insurance, taxes, utilities, home repair and even time (cleaning)
The bigger the house the more time you spend cleaning. Ironically, I would like to move in a year or two to a bigger place. But, my bigger is probably smaller because of the place that I’ve lived in for the past 7 years.
I suppose you are going to scold me for walking that half block to the 99 cents store? lol!! “I love reading stories about people who triumph over extreme situations because these stories prove that extraordinary effort and focus can lead to successful outcomes.” Me too! I have to say about the hostels though, as I mentioned before…I’m the WORST sleeper and even have trouble sleeping in hotels when it’s all my own, so I have a very hard time sharing room with strangers. It’s probably an area I would seek as much comfort as I could afford. 🙂
Haha! That’s so California though. I don’t find L.A. to be the most pedestrian friendly city. I think that the discomfort introduced would have to be reasonable for the circumstance. If you know you can’t sleep with a whole bunch of strangers around you then it’s unreasonable to stay in a hostel. I can sleep on a public bus so I don’t worry about that so much. Luckily, the 2 girls in my room are SUPER quiet…even though the French one is weird and angry about life in general. She hates being French.
I am actually on a mission to introduce change/discomfort into my life this year. I realized at the end of last year that I was feeling stuck mainly because I was too comfortable. So I am looking for a new job, and maybe considering moving states so I can hopefully get a fresh perspective on things. Great post!
Those will be huge changes. Having just left a job of 10 years I 100% understand where you’re at. Leaving my job and going on this trip has been a great kick star or a kick in the pants. I feel a lot better about things and am excited to push myself intellectually.
Love this! Right now I have somewhat of a shopping ban in place and I’m actually enjoying it 🙂
You will save so much time!!
Stepping outside of your comfort zone is how you grow!! This is what happened to me career wise. I’m a total introvert but every time I’ve taken a leap out of my comfort zone amazing opportunities have presented themselves. And as far as money I can live on very little. It was an uncomfortable necessity at first but now it’s just life, no discomfort at all!
Now I try to push myself outside of my comfort zone at least once a week! I want to make it a habit.
That’s awesome Alexa. I’m not an introvert but I was becoming an introvert over time because I was too comfortable. I used to always push myself outside of my comfort zone. Then I became uncomfortable with the idea of getting out of my comfort zone over time. Now I’m in a situation where everyday I have to push past my discomfort and as I result I feel like I’m growing the most that I have in years. You should write a post about pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone once a week.
You are so right! Discomfort is where we grow and learn about ourselves and what we really need. I’ve not enjoyed unemployment that much but the discomfort it has introduced into my life has really helped me grow as a person and see just how little I really need.
Well, normally I would NOT want unemployment to be the way discomfort enters your life. But you’re right it does put into perspective everything that is really important. Before I got the job that I just left I worked at Starbucks for almost a year before I got a full-time job. I just made things work and dug deep.
Great ideas Michelle! I already grocery shop only once/week and I am planning to quit my job this year. I guess 2015 is the year of discomfort for me 🙂
HAHA! You will rock 2015. Can’t wait to read your posts.
It sounds like I like to make myself suffer! I hang my clothes, only grocery shop once a week and generally just give myself new little challenges all the time. It keeps us on our toes, makes us be more creative and has, I think, made us better people. In my books a little discomfort is a great thing!
LoL! I think we’re living the same life…except for the hanging my clothes out to dry which I might be doing soon. It’s so common to do overseas but electricity is so cheap here. But every dollar counts.
Good for you for finding a 495 SF house! Tiny spaces are the best! I also don’t own a car. I consider this freeing, as opposed to uncomfortable.
Last year, at 40 years old, I traveled to Australia for 3 weeks and also stayed in hostels. I can’t tell you how luxurious a private bathroom felt after doing that! Like you said, so many people don’t even have access to clean drinking water, so I felt a little spoiled. 🙂
I have to disagree on one thing… the groceries. I prefer to shop often, like every other day, at least, because I don’t keep packaged food in the house, so I buy fresh fruits, veggies and organic meats often. But, I know how lucky I am to have access to and be able to afford fresh food! I also walk and bike to the store, so it is a good excuse for me to get my daily exercise.
Many people forget how these simple luxuries in life are so much better than big houses, fancy cars and pricey resorts.
I eat organic fresh fruits and veggies (and meat from Whole Foods or Farmer’s Market-Grassfed) and going once a week works really well. My problem is if I go every day I won’t just buy the fruits and veggies-I will buy EVERYTHING! That said, I envy your self-control! I used to live in France so I have done the daily fruit/veg but I don’t live in France-I live in Colorado and it’s too cold to go shopping every other day. A huge part of why I shop once a week is to save time and I love it! I was commuting up to 4 hours a day, so to add groceries was big pain in the bootie.
I’m typically averse to stepping outside my little ‘perfectly-defined’ world. I have recently bought into the idea that remaining inside my box will lead to stagnation and even stepping backwards. I’ve heard the advice to leave your comfort zone, but putting as creating some discomfort in my life somehow makes more sense (I know it’s just semantics, but certain phrases speak to people differently). Great advice to apply NOW!!
I just find that when I get really uncomfortable with something I work hard to move the other way. This year is going to be a year where I prove a lot of different things to myself that I haven’t pushed hard enough on. I will keep you all posted. I was just sliding backwards and it wasn’t serving me well. So, I had to leave.
I tend to choose the uncomfortable. Not on purpose and not always because I like it either. Actually, if I would know ahead of time, I’d probably make another decision. That’s how God leads me I guess. It’s been an amazing adventure so far. I like that concept though. It’s where the magic happens.
I don’t want to be uncomfortable but that’s always where the magic happens for me! Also, my intuition was very strong that I had to LEAVE. So I did.
You make a very important point. This reminds me of the saying “life begins outside of your comfort zone.” You’re right that times of discomfort are incubators for growth. I think it’s time to start pushing my comfort zone.
I had stopped growing and it was painful to watch…and to deal with me. When you’re over it, you’re over it. I was not a great addition to the team anymore even though I was well liked. I just was so focused on why am I still here? And where is my life going? Nowhere! So, I needed to have an honest conversation with myself and go to the next challenge/opportunity
I wish I didn’t have to rely on a car, but since I start work a lot earlier than most people, a car is needed. I wouldn’t want to have to wake up any earlier than I had to, to use public transit. I don’t even think public transit operates at 4:30 am on a weekday anyway. Lol.
I’ve been trying to introduce discomfort on a more personal level. Since I am quite the shy, introverted person, I am stepping out of my comfort zone by joining committees at work, speaking up during meetings and networking with upper management. While this may naturally easy for some people, it has been quite nerve wracking for me in the beginning. Thankfully the more I do it, the more it gets a bit easier.
I’m not sure that you would want to use public transit that early! I am not an introverted person but because of all the depression years I’ve noticed that I’m having to really work hard at being social and talking to people. It’s like riding a bike (getting back into this frame of mind) but it was hard to do initially. There are still some moments when I don’t feel like “myself” so I try each day to get out of that headspace. It’s hard.