I am in the process of observing Lent. I love taking time throughout my day to try to become a better and more spiritual person through the practice of sacrifice. For those of you who gave up chocolate, beer, or something lame like chewing gum, I’m here to tell you that I’ve upped the ante. I decided to give up complaining. That’s right, complaining. And, it is a daily struggle. Complaints are so commonplace in our language that they are almost like sentence fillers. Phrases such as “I can’t stand it when….” “It annoys me when…” “It gets on my nerves when” They curl around the tongue and shoot out and litter the air sucking all of the good energy that’s out there. It has been astonishing to me to become aware of the number of times I want to complain about something throughout the day. I’m biting my tongue to the point where there are indentations in it. Calm yourself-I’m just joking.
What does giving up complaining have to do with personal finance? In my view, a lot. It clearly affects the way that people view me. I would like to think that I’m a pretty fun person to be around, but, given the number of times I’ve caught myself about to complain I wondered how am I perceived by my friends and colleagues? I’ve known the majority of them for a LONG time. We get a long really well and bump a long like a slightly crazy family that is traveling across the U.S. in a tiny minivan. Has this behavior affected my supervisor’s willingness to add certain duties to my job? To allow me to be a “face” of the organization in certain situations? Do my friends cringe at the thought of hanging out for too long?
Has complaining on a regular basis kept me from seeing the good in a situation? Or kept me from being grateful for what I have? There is power in being self-aware and not adding to all of the bad energy that floats out there. As I work on my finances I’m finding that for me getting my money together is more about clearing out the thoughts in my head and getting all of my thoughts and actions aligned for I what I want for myself: happiness, love, and prosperity.
Randy Pausch who wrote the amazing book The Last Lecture, said the following about complaining, ““Complaining does not work as a strategy. We all have finite time and energy. Any time we spend whining is unlikely to help us achieve our goals. And it won’t make us happier.” If you haven’t read this book walk, no RUN, to the nearest bookstore or library and get this book. Or just upload it onto your Kindle. Mr. Pausch’s strength will humble you.
As I move further into the Lenten season I hope to actively put my best foot forward at all times. To be a lot more self aware as I go through my day and deal with people. I’m not perfect, and I’m not trying to be some holier than thou person who’s really annoying. I am trying to become a better version of myself. So I leave you with a few questions: Do you complain about stupid stuff throughout your day? How do you think this habit affects you personally and professionally? Would you like to change this habit? How would you go about making this change?
I’ve noticed that for some reason I feel happier. Maybe because I’m turning that frown upside down? I’ll let you know if I continue feeling this happy towards the end of Lent.
By the way-I’m not Catholic. I just love Lent.
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OH man this could pertain to me today. The facts: My insurance and doctor are fighting about a bill and I’m in the middle just trying to avoid paying $500 for something stupid. I got rear ended today in my car and the guy didn’t have insurance (but it’s only a few scratches), and my air conditioning stopped working in my car (after I spent 800 on it last year) on one of the hottest days we’ve had in LA where I had to drive a long way to get to this office. I want to complain SO BAD!! But I know that puts out that “bad energy” which attracts more bad stuff, so I’m trying to hard to find perspective and regroup and feel OK. But kuddos to you for taking on such an incredible challenge! You have such a positive energy!
Ok, this day was rough. But, it could always be worse (think of Pollyana). My advice: red wine and some reggae. Or, go to the beach and play an amazing game of volleyball. The positive energy is a daily struggle especially when crap things come up. But, I’m trying my best 🙂 Living in the 2nd Happiest State in the nation def. helps!
Hi! just found your blog via Budget & the Beach. I guess I have complained a bit every now and then about not being able to buy this or that. But after I put a clothes & accessory shopping ban on myself since 27.december, it`s been surprisingly easy! I haven`t bought a single thing. And believe, temptations are everywhere ( I do live in the capital where fashion stores are only a subway trip away). I do complain a bit about not having enough money, in general, and well that`s because I don`t. I`m a more-than-full-time student (133%), without job, and living on student loan. So things are tight! But! I have been making cut backs, such as cutting my cell phone plan in half! And I`m searching for jobs as well! 🙂
Hi!Thanks for stopping by. I am interested in why you decided to do the ban? I LOVE Oslo! Vigeland Park is so cool. I have never heard of a more than full-time student-you’re a Rock Star! It’s so hard with complaining because it’s so easy to do. I really was a bit: surprised, embarrassed, appalled when I really focused on this challenge. I really found myself biting my tongue all the time trying to not bitch about stuff. The funny thing is, compared to most people I’m living a pretty good life. We laugh a lot at work, I eat good food, travel, exercise, etc. What the heck am I complaining about? So, this will be a conscious practice that I will be working on for the rest of my life.
My co-workers seem to complain constantly. For the most part I just try to avoid them. I bring lunch and eat in my office while listening to a podcast or reading blogs. It makes the day go quicker, gives me a little pick me up, and helps me avoid the negativity.
I work with waaayyy too many women! My male coworkers don’t complain that much at all. This is something that I’ve observed as I focus on this project. We do laugh a lot at work. But, there is a lot of complaining about stupid stuff. I try to get outside of the office everyday during lunch hour and there are a lot of nice things that I can do during that hour (yoga, hiking, or my spanish class)-that’s Colorado for you!!LOL. It puts me in a better frame of mind. But, I was also contributing to the negative atmosphere without being aware of it. So, I’m really focusing on contributing positive energy.
Oh man. The last lecture is incredible (especially the video). How can you not cry?? Also, at least 10 of my favorite quotes of all tim are in there. Thanks for the post!
I cry every time I see it.