The Cost of a Life of Ease for Black Women - youramericanmoney
Author: Michelle
Description: It is the first day of February and we’re all aware that it’s also the first day of Black History Month. Now, I’ve very clearly stated in the past that I feel like Black History Month is every month of the year. I don’t want to silo my lived experiences and thoughts to one month […]
Date: 2023-02-01T10:00:00+00:00

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# The Cost of a Life of Ease for Black Women

posted on 1 February, 2023

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It is the first day of February and we’re all aware that it’s also the first day of Black History Month. Now, I’ve very clearly stated in the past that I feel like Black History Month is every month of the year. I don’t want to silo my lived experiences and thoughts to one month a year and honestly, as a content creator who works with companies and organizations it often feels like Black History Month is an afterthought. As is the case this year. I originally had a different episode in mind and then I found myself wanting to share something personal as well as an observation. In this podcast episode I’m going to talk about Black women and the pursuit of a life of ease. I think this episode will resonate with a lot of my listeners and surprise many as well. I look forward to hearing your thoughts. What is the cost of a life of ease for Black women?

In order for me to support my blogging activities, I may receive monetary compensation or other types of remuneration for my endorsement, recommendation, testimonial and/or link to any products or services from this blog. Please read my disclosure here.*

## Support the Michelle is Money Hungry Crowdfunding Campaign

I love partnering with brands to bring free and discounted content to my listeners. My goal is to share helpful content and hold conversations that wouldn’t be held in traditional personal finance spaces. Leading into this year’s Black History Month I started to hear from other creators that they were noticing a significant drop in brands reaching out to partner on content. In my case, I actually think this is a good thing because I plan on holding some difficult conversations that I don’t want to have to reframe or change because I’m worried about upsetting a brand partner.

With that in mind, I’m launching a crowdfunding campaign with the goal of earning at least $5,000 in the month of February. What is the money for? To cover the cost of running the show for one month. This money covers the following: time, administrative tasks and production of each show. How you can contribute. I’m keeping things simple: Send your donation via PayPal: michelleismoneyhungry@gmail.com. Thank you for your continued support.

## Listen to the Episode

## Related Episodes

- Designing a Better Life By Moving to Another Country

- Designing a Better Personal and Professional Life By Bringing People Together

- 7 Reasons Why Women Need to Make More Money

## The Cost of Ease for Black Women

If you’ve been listening to my show since the beginning, you may be vaguely familiar with my origin story. But I think it’s very important to share it again in light of this episode. I used to work as a Student Services Coordinator for an International English Language program and I absolutely loved it. In fact, many of my colleagues had worked at the center beginning when I was born. This is a field and space where professionals are very mission and heart-driven about the work that they do which is to create a welcoming and safe space for international students. In my case, that was creating a safe space in the United States which often doesn’t feel that safe to me, a citizen. I did what many people do at work, I went ALL IN. And like at many organizations, my superiors were more than happy to let me work beyond what was a reasonable capacity. When I finally quit, at my 10 year mark I was suffering from burnout, depression and anxiety. I also was asking myself a lot of questions about the following:

- Having a purpose

- Leisure

- Joy

- What role does work play in fostering purpose, leisure and joy?

When I quit, I bought tickets for a 2 month trip out of the country so that I wouldn’t change my mind. It ended up taking me a year to recover physically and even longer mentally. As I flew from Denver to Los Angeles to Oahu to Sydney, Australia I could feel the pressure dropping off my back. I also discovered that I wasn’t unique in wanting something different for myself.

At the end of 2022, I spent a significant amount of time reflecting on what worked and didn’t work well for me in 2022. I was confronted with a realization that I didn’t expect-I had overcorrected with my embrace of leisure and that what I’d seen at home and around me was a huge reason why. Black women, if you’re listening, I wonder if this resonates with you.

- I watched my mom work so freaking hard. Multiple jobs at any given time, working during the holidays, always going to school. It just never seemed to stop and I realized that I began to have some very different thoughts around hard work.
- I talk about policy so much because I think about how financial policy could have changed my mom and other people’s lives. I also SAW how financial policy did help my mom and other people around me.
- But, ultimately I found myself questioning why it was that so many people worked so hard for so long and it felt like nothing came of it.
- This is when it became clear to me that the following is at play to many people’s success:
  - Your network
  - A splash of luck
  - Access
  - Nepotism
  - Race

Despite sharing this I do want to say that I believe in hard work. I do think that people who are focused on a goal typically can reach some parts of their goal. The question that I ask is at what cost? Black women are often the workhorse of their organization and in their personal lives. We are caregivers, financial caregivers and have high expectations of ourselves. We’re also not doing well financially, physically and emotionally because this is a lot of responsibility to carry.

We deserve a life of ease. But, I want to caution against over-correcting in such a way that we endanger ourselves financially. By a life of ease I’m talking about the following:

- Working in organizations that respect and empower us. This may mean beginning to look for a new job that pays more with a better organization culture.

- Having vacations and time of rest-This could start small by scheduling three day weekends outside of normal holiday weekends. Using your PTO and vacation time strategically.

- Having access to pay transparency, financial advocacy and professional support at work. Reaching out and asking people in your field for guidance on how to get this information.

- Being loved in ways that allows us to be ourselves. Removing ourselves from people or situations where we’re mistreated.

- Having support in our homes such as cleaning help, cooking support or childcare without being judged.

- Time to read books, dance, do yoga or meditate. You could find free or inexpensive classes via Meetup (dot) com, Eventbrite or Facebook Events.

- And so much more.

We’re seeing Black women leaving the US in increasing numbers in order to geo-arbitrage their way to a life of ease in more welcoming, safer and affordable countries. But, I have some concerns and thoughts that I wanted to share because I want Black women to thrive now and in the future as they embrace a life of ease.

## How to Design a Financially Viable Life of Ease

The ultimate goal for myself and in having this conversation is to get women to think about designing longevity into their life of ease plan. I’m in a number of groups where members are looking to move abroad temporarily or permanently. I’m in groups that are multiracial as well as group with predominantly white members and groups that are primarily Black. I’ve noticed some significant differences in the conversations people are having as they relate to financing their lives abroad and some important long-term financial considerations. I will also mention that in my old role I primarily focused on helping international students attain their visas to study in the US.

A large part of that process was being able to show that they had the money to live here. In fact, international students living in the US have likely had to share that they have the following: money for tuition, accommodation and miscellaneous expenses for the number of months that they would be in the US. I’m bringing this up because affording a life ease is often being thought of from a geo-arbitrage standpoint. People are looking to move abroad and are being caught off-guard when asked to prove that they have the finances to live in the country that they’re excited about. Yes, it may be cheaper but they don’t want you using their social services that citizens have paid into for their entire working lives. With that in mind I have questions and some thoughts. Also, please note this is not financial advice. You should work with a financial professional for any financial advice.

- How would you define a life of ease?

- What are some steps that you could take to starting creating your life of ease now?
  - Setting personal and professional boundaries
  - Finding free and inexpensive self-care experiences. Or, begin saying “yes” to something that gives you joy.
  - Off-loading tasks that you don’t have the capacity for

- How are you affording your life of ease?

- How are you affording your life of ease overseas?

- How are you preparing financially for your life of ease?

- How does your retirement years factor in to your life of ease planning?

- What kind of work will you do that pays well and allows you to plan for current and future financial milestones?

A life of ease doesn’t mean not working if you don’t have action plans for the following:

- Current living expenses

- Healthcare

- Insurance

- Dependent/spouse expenses

- Self-care

- Emergencies

- Technology upgrades

- Transportation

- Retirement planning

- Investing for your future

I’m bringing all of this up because I see so many women, Black women, taking the leap and then we’re just barely getting by. We’re not accounting for inflation which is a constant, changing life circumstances and making sure we’re financially empowered separate from a partner.

What if something happens to them? What will you do? Especially if you have kids? What if something happens to your kids, family members or friends?

### COVID has me rethinking everything

I think everything has a season. A season of rest, recalibration and strategizing. Once you’re rested up how can you design a life of ease that has a financially stable foundation.

I want to acknowledge the headwinds that impact our planning:

- Financial caregiving

- Lack of pay transparency

- Self-doubt

- Not a broad enough network-Oftentimes it’s who you know that can make a huge difference in what you’re able to connect with.

- Current financial obligations-If you have a ton of debt or excessively high monthly expenses, it will be hard to design of ease.

## Constantly Reevaluate the Financial Aspects of Your Life of Ease

I spent a lot of time reevaluating my own life of ease last fall after my first and hopefully only bought with COVID. I was sick for a week and then experienced serious fatigue in my legs for months. I feel much better now, but it was a wake up call.

I’m very happy with how I’ve been intentional about a lot of aspects of my daily lived life. Prioritizing time with friends and family, focusing on wellness, pursuing projects that keep me intellectually curious and excited. But, I realized that I may have overcorrected with my life of ease.

And I realized that when I was in a meeting with some friends who are very high earning freelancers. I realized that it’s important to touch base with your goals at least once a year. When I left my old job I wanted freedom and flexibility. I have that, I’ve perfect that for myself. But I should have checked in with myself and my goals a little sooner. In the past year especially I realized that I wanted a higher level of financial ease and that all of the work that I done to diversify my income was smart to do. But that it is time to double my efforts. I want more money.

I’ll be working harder than I’ve worked in a while. Not forever. But for a season. And because I had that season of ease, I have the energy to focus on higher levels of output. But, I’m going to be transparent and say that when I thought about these new work related goals working just to work was never going to work.

It had to make sense.

I have a very aggressive earnings goal for 2023. It will require me to drastically change my output and I’m up for it. I’ve even tentatively scheduled small retreats throughout the year so that I can sustain this output and still have the ease that I deserve.

Black women, I want you to have both. Financial security and ease. So, I will leave you with three final questions.

What does a life of ease look like for you? I don’t want you to be unprepared and on the wrong side of the financial statistics out there. You can start preparing financially for your life of leisure now.

- Paying off debt

- Starting a savings account

- Building an income independent of a 9-5 that can scale over time

- Cultivating long-term wealth because you deserve financial ease too

Question #2-How will you proactively prepare for financial life of leisure? Question #3-What is your biggest fear? Mine: having work a 9-5 again. I’ll never forget that 97% of African-Americans polled about going back in office after the COVID restrictions eased up said that they didn’t want to return to the office. They just wanted to do their work and enjoy their lives.

That’s were I’m at.

It’s the beginning of Black History Month and I want you to hear that you deserve good things. I guess ultimately, this episode is about balance in our pursuits.

Let me know what you think.

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#### Michelle

I am an obsessive foodie, but not self-righteous with it, love travel, meeting new people, helping you look good, and am freaked out by people who don't enjoying reading...something! Grab a Perrier, read my blog, feel free to drop me a line! Hope to hear from you soon.

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