The Financial and Emotional Cost of Fun

If you follow my Twitter feed, you’ll find that I share my political leanings, money thoughts, Colorado stuff and when I get to do fun things. I’ve actually debated whether or not I should record this episode but a couple of things happened. The first was that I’d thought about this topic for so long that it was time to share it. I’d seen some tweets on Twitter about not having enough time with loved ones. And finally, I kept thinking that in a culture so focused on work I thought it was important to talk about the role of fun in American life. But, in thinking about “fun” I realized that for someone people they have to work so hard that fun is often the last thing on their list. Originally, I planned on calling this episode “The Financial Cost of Joy” But, it didn’t feel quite right. Before I get into this episode, I want to share a recent adventure that I went on with my mom.

There’s a new venue in Denver called “Meow Wolf” it’s an immersive, interactive art experience in a massive building squeezed in-between to lanes of a highway. I’d received free passes to go and I was so excited about it. There are three locations, the original in Santa Fe, the second is in Las Vegas and the third is in Denver. If you visit any of those towns, go to Meow Wolf.

My mom and I had an absolute blast. We crawled through tunnels, we played with interactive screens, and we sat in the helm of a space ship. Not only did I watch my mom having an incredible time at Meow Wolf, I noticed that I wasn’t the only adult who’d brought their parents with them. I watched those parents embrace a childlike wonder that spaces like this are designed to foster. Mom kept ditching me, she was having so much fun. It got me to thinking about all of those years of hard work. In this episode, I’m going to share how people with or without tons of money can build joyful experiences into their lives because life is short. If living in a pandemic has taught us anything, it’s the uncertainty of life.

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Show Notes:

This episode will release on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. I will be attending the Black rodeo at the National Western Stock here in Denver-which I believe is the largest stock show in the world. I love this event. I love all of the different rodeos, seeing the cool livestock, mutton bustin’ and seeing the prized steer at the Brown Palace Hotel. For three weeks this is a pretty big event in Denver and interestingly enough-it keeps getting bigger. Who said that agriculture was dead? The thing that I wanted to share about this experience that I’m going to have is that I’m going for free. I belong to a Meetup group that fosters African American experiences outdoors. These experiences range from hiking, biking, canoeing, skiing and yes, going to the rodeo. At this point in my life, I can pay for this experience. But, through the generosity of a sponsor our tickets have been paid for and I can participate for free.

There are some folks who might not have been able to go without that sponsorship. In designing my products and services and just as a human out in the world-I think a lot about accessibility. But, one of the things that I find myself thinking about more and more is how much joy, whimsy and wonder do the adults in our lives get to experience? I will undoubtedly get emails or tweets from people who are like, well people could do free stuff, you know like…

• Go for a hike (I love hiking, but not everyone lives by mountains or enjoys messing around in nature)

• Ride a bike (some people can’t physically ride a bike or don’t own one)

• Read a book (I’m a whale reader, I love reading so much!!!) Not everyone wants to read.

• Bake cookies

• Latchhook rugs (I used to love doing this when I was younger)

But, sometimes people want to do things that feel a little sexier than smutty needlepoint. Even though, I would actually learn how to do that. In a world that has FIRE (financial independence retire early folks) talking about endless depravation I wonder if they’ve ever been poor? Been without? Had to make choices to stay housed and fed vs. something joyful. Now families across the US regardless of socio-economic stature are feeling the financial squeeze so I thought that I would share how to have fun and why you must have fun because what’s the point of life without some joy? And, it’s ok to want to do things that are a little bragadocious without being mean.

This week I took my mom out for tea. I’d originally wanted to go for high tea but planned badly. I dropped that $23 dollars and didn’t even blink. In the past, I wouldn’t have been able to do something like this without a lot of budget wrangling. I also reserved my car share car and drove around on that day because it was easier and it was going to snow.

When my finances were at their worst, the cost of fun and joy was felt deeply. The treats that I give myself now in the past were 5 hours of standing at a side-hustle. Or, a trip overseas was the end result of 8 months of working at Marshall’s in Boulder for as many hours as I could possibly manage.

Weirdly enough, my expenses have gone down significantly because I’ve paid off a significant amount of debt. I’ve thoughtfully lowered my cost of living while increasing my overall standard of living. If you’re aggressively investing, paying off debt, or saving for that next big trip and want to enjoy a cup of coffee and avocado toast, treat a loved one to a fun experience or do something that you could brag about…I’m not mad at you and I get it.

Then, I would l like you to quietly look around you and listen to what people are saying about what they wish they had done, what they would love to do and what they regret.

Pay attention to what do your relatives say about how much fun they’ve been able to experience in their life? Most of you aren’t emotionally ready to have those conversations.

I thought I would share some tips to nurture fun and joyful experiences that typically cost money with the goal of having these experiences be free or significantly discounted.

Tip #1-Check out Eventbrite and Facebook Events

We’re still in a pandemic. But, I have noticed more and more fun happenings posted in Eventbrite and Facebook events. I’m talking free and super discounted events that you can take part in. I even found a free clothing swap that I checked out on Sunday. A metaverse meetup, I might pop in just to see what exactly that is and a $10 oensie Bar Crawl which sounds like a lot of fun if I wanted to be around people…which, I kind of don’t. I even found some free yoga classes and a couple of years ago I took a $5 puppy yoga and wine class that happened through a partnership with a pet adoption program and locally winery. Don’t sleep on these opportunities and they are happening now.

Tip #2-Join Meetup Groups

I’m obsessed with Meetup groups now more than ever. They are a wonderful way to meet people with similar interests. But, what makes Meetup so awesome is that a lot of the groups are able to negotiate the price of tickets down-because they are purchasing tickets at a group rate or the group leader will get events sponsored. By the way, these sponsored groups could be any group. For example, the local bloggers’ Meetup group that I belong to has a long history of sponsored meal meetups where the exchange is that the bloggers share their experience at the venue. I love meeting the incredible entrepreneurs in the Denver/Boulder metro, supporting their businesses and meeting the other bloggers. I’m actually thinking very seriously of starting my own meetup group and will also seek out sponsorships for many of the events if I decide to move forward with them.

Tip #3 Work at Venues

I know that in last week’s episode I shared that I no longer want to side-hustle. I just am tired. But, I do want to share the free experiences that I’ve had because of my side-hustles.

Here are a few:

• Saw Hassan Minaj

• Jo Koy and Tiffany Haddish (check out their Netflix specials)

• Jim Gaffigan

• Westword Music Showcase-Music festival

• Barry Manilow

I also used to work at a dance study in exchange for dance classes and eventually taught classes and was paid for that.

Tip #4 Optimize Work Related FUN Benefits (if they exist)

In my previous job I was a student services coordinator and part of my job was designing the events I would take the adult international students on. This part of my job was awesome! Here are some examples of what we did:

• Paint ball

• Fritzler Corn Maze

• Water World

• Denver Nuggets, Colorado Avalanche, Colorado Rockies and Colorado Rapids (Broncos tickets were too difficult to get at that time)

• Camping

• Trips to Rocky Mountain National Park

• Hot springs

• Skiing

• Horseback riding

Anything I could think of to introduce the students to-I did. And I paid my student assistants to work the events and for their participation. They loved it.

Tip #5 Follow People’s Social Media Feeds

There are some people who always seem to find the cool event, the discounted option or the free thing. Follow their feeds. I’ll never forget finding a random roller skating group in my park with each person dressed up in a costume. One person was an eggplant. Ahem. They meetup and just roller skate in the park and play music. They share when they’re going to meet via Instagram.

Tip #6-Budget for Fun

Set money aside, even small amounts, so that you can intentional plan for fun. Use your Qube money account to set those funds aside. Qube money is a digital envelope system where you can create different digital “Qubes” or envelopes for different categories of spending. I’m obsessed with this tool. It also comes with a visa debit card that is connected to your account.

I wanted to talk about fun because right now things aren’t so fun. Many people are stressed out and just trying to keep it together. Nurturing and fostering joy in your life is just as important as nurturing your 401k. I often think about how hard my older relatives have worked so that I could have the life and choices that I do now. I know that they threw parties and did some fun things. But, I know that there was a price that they paid emotionally, physically and financially.

There is a reason why I focus on having fun experiences with my family and friends. There is a reason why I think of whimsical experiences to have with the people in my life. I’m a member of a number of closed Facebook groups in the personal finance space and I’m often struck by how infrequently people talk about intentionally adding fun into their lives. In all of the work talk why aren’t we also entitled to joy? I thought I would leave you with a few final thoughts:

• Listen to the people around you. They may be giving you clues about what they would love to enjoy doing. You may have the money or the strategy to make it happen for them.

• Embrace what you want to enjoy. There is a goat yoga class in my future. It’s not for everyone. But, for some reason, I’ve always wanted to go to goat yoga. It’s on my list.

• Your big dream can happen in smaller ways. We can’t really easily travel abroad. It’s kind of still a little too messy for me to do. I do smaller regional trips instead. Your idea of fun is YOUR idea of fun. I also want to check out the massive jungle gym in Parker called Epic Sky Trek-I’ve wanted to go for years and it’s on my list for this summer.

Tip #7-Spend the Money

I just mentioned budgeting for fun. Now I want you to feel good about spending the money. I’m starting dance classes this week and I’ve missed them so much! I’ve danced since I was 4 years old and the loss of this activity really affected me. I’m also taking a free yoga class as well.

If everything else on your financial list is taken care of:

• Bills paid

• Money invested

• Saved some cash

• Money moved into ER

It’s ok to thoughtfully spend some of your money. It’s crazy to me how difficult it is so many people find it to spend on themselves. This could also include:

• Paying for a babysitter

• Having someone come in to clean your place once a month or even once every month.

• Getting a massage every other month. We have Korean and Russian bathhouses in Denver and I would go for several hours and to steam out my pores. Around $20 bucks for the day. One thing with that, you have to be nekkid. Or, hike to a hot springs in the mountains.

Bonus Tip-Design the Experience

What I mean is if you have something that you would love to do: a festival, perform with your band, a dance performance, etc. Design the experience. Get sponsors, charge for tickets, do the thing. Also, get liability waivers and insurance for those events. You don’t have to wait for other people to create what YOU would like to do.

This episode isn’t to encourage folks to spend foolishly. In fact, I’m talking about thoughtfully cultivating a joyful life and if that means you would like to participate in activities that actually cost money, there’s more than one way “to do the thing” and experience those activities.

Life is short, have fun while you work towards whatever you’re working towards. Thoughts? Let me know the fun things you would like to do and have put off. I want to cheer you on.