2018 was an interesting year financially. It was.all.over.the.place. The year humbled me in many ways and tested me as well. 2018 found me emotionally tired and a bit fed up with my personal finance journey. I understand why people quit. I also understand why people remain in debt-it’s hard to go against the norm. It’s exhausting to stay disciplined, and if you’re trying to design your best life through entrepreneurship it’s emotionally intense.
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So.Damn.Tired
There were moments where I was just…numb.
And, it’s clear that I need to check in with a therapist once a month for my mental health.
I was dealing with financial depression during the summer and it’s not the first time that I’ve experienced it.
Each time this happens I just mentally shut down and this time was no different. And, unfortunately, because this bout of depression was so intense, it’s important that I be a lot more proactive about managing both my mental health and expectations.
Long Financial Journeys
Aren’t as sexy as the super fast, short-term massive debt payoffs that most people hear about. It’s freaking exhausting to focus on something that as long as I have that doesn’t love you back LOL! Paying off my debt is like having a kid. So.many.needs.
And, I understand why people quit their financial journeys and decide to just live like everyone else. Financial goals are hard because they require a level of focus and intention that is the absolute opposite of our daily lifestyles as Americans. Even though I still go for coffee, do fun things, and travel-the way that I do everything sets me apart from most other people.
I can’t even imagine what it would feel like to do this alone and without community.
The Truth About Being a Money Blogger
Who is still in debt is that even though I’ve paid off thousands of dollars in debt, lowered my yearly budget by $13,500 at last count three years ago, I still feel like a fraud at times because I don’t have the “sexy money story” that most people seem to be drawn to.
It is my opinion that most people who focus on audacious goals such as:
- Extreme Debt-Repayment
- Savings
- Investing
- F.I.R.E.
Are already winning because they are taking action in a direction that most people wouldn’t dream of. Instead of berating myself for not finishing my goals, it’s important that I keep perspective on how much I’ve changed my life by taking the actions that I’ve taken for the past 7 years. In two months or less I will no longer have credit card debt-for the first time in my adult life.
But, it would be disingenuous to say that I’m not tired. Weary to my bones. Tired of the topic of debt, tired of making payments, just so tired.
And, the weirdest thing about financial journeys…the closer you get to the result that you want, the Universe will begin throwing roadblocks in your way just to mess with your mind.
It happened to me three times in 2018. So. Dang. Exhausting.
Your Financial Life is an UltraMarathon
One of my main themes about money in 2019 is that personal finance is an ultra-marathon. It’s not a marathon-that’s kind of trite. The reality is that every single day of our freaking lives we make financial decisions.
- Should I buy the latte and avocado toast?
- How much should I save?
- How much gas should I put in the car?
- Annual payments or monthly?
- Staycation or vacation?
- AirBnB or regular hotel?
- Is it a loan or a gift?
- Kids or no kids?
- I want to grow my professional role-can I afford to go to the conference/retreat?
There are so many decisions that I could literally spend everyday, all day writing them out. What’s the point to this? So what if it takes me 7, 8, or 9 years to become debt-free? I plan on living to 100+ years old. That’s just a fraction of my life focused on an activity that will improve my quality of life, for the rest of my life.
There are moments when I take a break and get back on it and focus. Because, why not? I still will have to make financial choices in the short and long-run.
Not achieving my goals when I was hoping to has deepened my empathy for others on a money journey. I get why people quit. And, I am not interested in disparaging other people who are on their own financial journey.
In fact, I find it incredibly distasteful how often I see other financial bloggers dogging out people who are trying. Sometimes you have to make a lot of mistakes before you consistently make healthy financial choices.
I should know.
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I just told Melanie this in her post about how she has business/consumer debt, life is definitely not linear. It has it’s ups and downs and things life throws at you, so I can understand (all too well) not hitting financial goals. That’s all…just a little fellow empathy.
You are telling the TRUTH about life not being linear. And, empathy is so important. Wish more people practiced it.
This is so good. And as someone who didn’t meet the ONE goal she set for 2018, I needed this one. And a reminder that this is an ultramarathon; one year or five percent isn’t going to make or break things long term.
I was so frustrated by the end of last year. Then, I had to really put things in perspective. I’m closer than I was before to my goals. And, it may take longer than I would like. It is what it is-and I need to be kind to myself.
I would just tell you something I’ve observed on virtually every single “we’ve paid off $100,000 of debt in two years” story I’ve read or seen on YouTube. In the comments, someone will say “but I don’t even make the amount of their debt payment per month” or “they have two incomes. It’s just me.” And other people start agreeing and say they’d like to hear from a “normal” person that paid off debt over time. I think you have a sexy “how I paid off my debt story” that is more realistic for most people. Your just a little tired right now 🙂
Susan, I really appreciate your comment. And, you’re right-I’m tired and it’s hard to stay motivated. But, I’m going to keep on “keeping on” and get this done.
I hear you about how long bouts of self-discipline can be fatiguing, even depressing. Good for you for realizing that you needed to take a step back and take care of yourself!
I started my financial journey later that most bloggers did, and I don’t do anything extreme in terms of debt repayment or early retirement or lifestyle, but I just hope I’m doing the best I can.
Frieda-this point “I just hope I’m doing the best I can.” That’s the point right there. I’ve made EVERY SINGLE FINANCIAL mistake possible and I’ve cleaned them up. Messily, occasionally methodically, somewhat consistently, but I’m getting it done. And this year I just have to give myself some grace and keep working towards my goal. I have to remember that most Americans just wouldn’t even attempt to do this. There is a reason my most Americans remain in debt. Paying it off, learning self-discipline, growing income, and managing your impulse control is HARD. We’ve got this!
This is such a good reminder. Some days I get so hyper focused on debt repayment that I have trouble enjoying different aspects of my life. I need to have that soft reminder that, HEY, you’re running an ultra, it’s okay to breathe.
We will literally be making financial decisions for rest of our lives. Even though my debt journey feels like it’s taking forever (and stressing me out) I’ve cleaned up a HUGE mess over the past 7 years. My finances now, compared to before, are so much better. But, it’s just going to take a little longer than I would like for this part of the journey…and I have to be somewhat ok with that. Time to be kind to ourselves!
I absolutely love this post! It’s so raw and honest. I understand what you mean about everyone falling for the sexy “I paid it off really quick” stories, but I prefer the stories of the marathons over the sprint any day. Your story is just much more relatable, doesn’t come off as an unattainable fantasy and in no way shames others trying to get out of debt. Lastly, I love that you mentioned that getting out of debt means practicing self-discipline every minute of the day. It’s super exhausting! I feel like people sometimes forget how much focus you really must have to get out of it when they paint “if I can do it, you can do it” picture.
Thanks Terri! I’m trying to be kind to myself and also empathetic to all of the other people who’re experiencing the same type of frustration. I’m just trying to stay focused one day at a time. That’s all I can do.
A little late to the party here, but I agree with you. It took Tim and me 5 years to repay all of our debt, and it was a slog at every turn. Especially as more things would pile on just as we were making headway. It was discouraging and it beat us down more than once. Luckily, I had therapy to help keep me sane (or my version of it) during the process. But there were a lot of times I wanted to just go hide under the covers. And, okay, I may have actually done that a few times. But we persevered and had the good luck of our financial situation improving right at the end that allowed us to pay off the last two or three thousand more quickly. So I’m glad I stuck it out, and I’m sure you’ll be glad too when you get to do a little happy dance after paying off your last credit card debt. (Congrats by the way!)
I’ve just hit my 75th wind (not my 2nd) and it’s looking like I’ll get my unsecured debts paid off by May if I stay focused. It has NOT been easy, I’m freaking tired, but I’m so over dealing with this debt that I’m going to do whatever I can do to push through and get it done. I think that a lot of people quit because they just get tired. Give me three months for that happy dance-then, student loans. But, just paying ONE FREAKING thing will be so awesome. Just one thing.