I’ve toyed with the idea of doing periodic posts on my health and weight loss journey for awhile now. I wasn’t sure that I wanted to open up about the feelings that I have about my weight, how I feel about my health, and the process that I’m using to reach the health goals that I’ve set for myself.
Let’s get just get the first part out of the way. I currently weigh: 150 pounds, 68 kilos, or 10.7 stones. One Hundred and Fifty Pounds. Yep, I weigh more than it looks like! I’ve been very lucky as my extra weight settled evenly on my body so for friends who haven’t seen me in awhile I look bigger and a bit bloated. I don’t necessarily look bad, but I don’t feel as good as I used to about myself.
I used to weigh around 120-125 pounds for years. I was a cheerleader and a dancer for many years. I was auditioning to be a Denver Nuggets Dancer or a Broncos Cheerleader and did really well in the auditions. Dance was my passion.
I was auditioning to be one of these girls and I did really well when I auditioned!
Then, the real world hit and I went to graduate school, got older, and then went to work. That’s when the pounds started to pack on.
I steadily gained an average of 5 pounds a year after I started working my current job. I’ve worked this job since 2004 so this year I was on track to gain an additional 5 pounds and had actually hit the scales at 155 before I did the Vegan Challenge in January.
It is not lost on me that those years were quite stressful due to a number of reasons. Let me list them! Fun! I consider these the roadblocks that overwhelmed me.
- Chronic debt-I obviously have had debt for awhile. At that point in time it was really bad and I was overwhelmed. I was dealing with a large number of creditors and was always worried and stressed.
- Lack of Job Security-In addition to being really in debt, the new job that I had gotten was at a place that was on the brink of being closed. Some of my colleagues would talk about how it might be closing EVERY SINGLE DAY! So, on top of being broke, now I was freaked out and it took forever to get that job. *The business didn’t close and I’m still working there! And it’s doing great.
- Working a second (retail)job-I was working a second job in Denver while working full-time in Boulder. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the Denver/Boulder metropolitan area, that’s a 45 mile commute. It was a “high-paying” retail job and I’m glad that I kept it. I ended up working two jobs for 3 years until I was convinced that I wouldn’t lose my full-time job.
- High stress situation at work-I can’t get into this, let’s just say we don’t always have healthy colleagues to work with. This was the case for a long time and I am happy to report that this has changed!
- Family stress-Again, I don’t want to get into it. Let’s just say I had some family crap to deal with.
- My hair began to fall out-Fun! My hair started to fall out due to an adverse reaction to hair straightener and stress. I had to begin wearing a weave/fake ponytails (not the cheesy ones at the mall) and lace-front wigs (love these)! I am really happy that this using these types of beautification tools is not unusual for black women. However, it really affected my self-esteem and I still am dealing with getting my hair healthy. Yes, I still have to employ all of these methods, but my actual hair is A LOT healthier now. I will NEVER use a relaxer (straightener) in my hair again!
- Failed relationships-I kept dating nice guys who were noncommittal, or just not that into me. Then, they would always want to get back together after awhile. I was smart enough to at least say “no” each time they tried to get back together.
- The Commute-I have a long commute to work. How does the commute affect my fitness? I’m usually too tired to work out by the time I get home.
Food was a source of comfort to me and I love to cook! I was basically “self-soothing” instead of drugs I used food. I also never said “no.” The people that I work with are actually pretty healthy and are always competing in races, running, biking and hiking. While I was and am pretty active I wasn’t active with the purpose of keeping super fit. It was just a by product of life in Colorado.
Every once in awhile I’ve mentioned my weight on this blog and my observation that a lot of Personal Finance bloggers also begin to lose weight. It’s my view that my weight was a symptom of a life seriously out of balance. It’s hardily surprising that I’ve been out of balance with all of this crap going on.
This year I had the idea that I would get serious about trying to lose the freaking weight. It wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. In fact, I found the food modification a heck of a lot easier than the exercise because I was already eating really healthy. I don’t eat fast food, I don’t eat a lot of processed food. In fact, dealing with the food was easier than the exercise.
I’m active, but that’s a heck of a lot different that actively training for an athletic event. So, I decided to do something that really frightened me. I decided to train for the ING 1/2 Marathon in Miami on February 2, 2014. I clearly needed a goal that would get me to move more. Which was and is at the heart of my fitness problem.
Recently, though, I had to acknowledge that this goal had to be broken down even further. How am I approaching losing weight?
- Having daily and weekly goals. February is way too far away…I could get sidetracked between now and then.
- 6 days a week-I have to exercise six days a week. I’m just not moving enough. Each week will be different, right now Sunday is my off day.
- 2 hours a day-My goal is to exercise at least 2 hours a day. I
- Wake up early-I am not a morning person. But, if I’m waking up every morning to “show up for work” I need to wake up earlier to “show up” for myself. I am getting an hour of exercise in first thing in the morning.
- Mid-year race/goal-I will be running the HotChocolate15k! It is a great way to break down the overall goal of running a 1/2 marathon.
- Food-I’m now eating Vegan before 6:00 p.m. There was no way I would be able to become a full-time Vegan. I do believe that eating cleaner is a great way for me to stay healthy and help me meet my fitness goals. I really enjoy it and it’s an easy change to sustain.
- Blog Posts-I think that these posts will help me create a community of supporters on this journey. I hope I can also help someone else by talking about my struggles. I will put up a post every other Thursday that will talk about the weight loss journey.
About the Roadblocks mentioned above
- Chronic debt-um, I still have debt! The difference is that I now have a plan to deal with it and am starting to experience some successes as I implement the debt repayment.
- Lack of job security-The reality is, that’s just reality. Unless I am debt free and working for myself working for someone else is always operating from an insecure position.
- Working a second job-I am working numerous other jobs as I’m doing my side hustles. I am clear about the purpose of these jobs and I really enjoy them!
- High Stress Situation at Work-That has been eliminated, however, if it hadn’t changed I would work on strategies to deal with toxic situations at work.
- Family stress-this isn’t as big an issue. But, there is always some degree of drama with family and that’s ok
- My hair falling out-It’s growing back and will still take some time to get super healthy. I don’t go to the hair salon any more and I like being in charge of my hair. I feel empowered
- Failed relationships-I’m not dating anyone right now and have just finished working on a fantastic dating “workshop” via the book “Calling in the One.” If you are chronically single or having dating issues. I highly, highly, highly recommend reading this book and doing all of the exercises at the end of each chapter. You will learn a lot about yourself. I plan on writing a post about this book soon. I am very excited to start dating in earnest. There are a lot of great guys out there!
- The Commute-I’m still commuting but have added riding my bike from my neighborhood to downtown in the morning on my way to catch the bus. Then, I ride back home. I also will be waking up an hour earlier to get more exercise in.
My goal is to lose 1.5 pounds a week. This is considered a safe a healthy amount of weight to lose each week according to television shows and research that I’ve done. LOL! I don’t want to be as thin as I used to be, I would love to just lose 20 pounds and tone up. You know I’m serious about this when I’m waking up at 5:00 a.m. to get some exercise in before work.
I’m hoping to stay motivated and aware of what is going on in my life and embrace the challenge of a life in balance. If you have experience similar struggles please share any tips you may have, or just your story.
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Thank you for sharing your story Michelle! I think recognizing all those roadblocks is a great way to start to break them down. I have the opposite problem as you in that I love exercise and have no problem doing it, and although I DO eat healthy, I still think I snack to much (I always fee hungry!!) and my portion control isn’t always great. BTW you might have mentioned this in another blog, but have you thought about taking dance classes since you enjoyed it so much? Sounds like you achieved a pretty high level in dance. How cool! I’m seriously jealous! 🙂 Good luck with all your goals and if you want a workout buddy at fincon I’d be happy to do stuff with you!
It’s funny because I feel like I was aware of the weight adding up, but because of all of the things going on I just didn’t have the mental energy to deal with it. At this point I’m just over how the weight makes me feel emotionally and physically. I feel like the weight is a metaphor for all of the crappy years. I’m beginning to feel great! So, it’s time to look like how I’m beginning to feel about life in general. The Recession really was the icing on the crap cake!
wow, thanks for sharing! I really enjoyed hearing how you have become solution-oriented.
I am trying. It was a sad day when I had to admit that the food I was eating wasn’t the problem-it was the lack of focused exercise!
I have a friend who gets really frustrated when he doesn’t achieve his monthly goal because of his work. As a friend, what I do is I always push him to do and focus on the things he needs to do to achieve his goal. I know you guys can do it. Just be positive and keep your focus.
I get really weird when I’m just fed up with something. It takes a LONG time to get this fed up…but when I do I have a scary (read obsessive) focus to take care of whatever is driving me crazy. I am trying to be positive and patient with myself which is really hard to do.
There really are too many things that hinder us from achieving our goals in life, but I’m positive Michelle that you can do it. Just focus and believe in yourself.
Thanks Marissa, if anything I’ll get a gold star for trying!
Congrats on starting this awesome journey! I think you look fab, for the record, but as a fellow dancer I can completely relate to being super duper skinny in my early 20s and slipping a little now. Have you heard of blogilates? That’s what I’ve been doing. She’s a YouTube personal trainer, so it’s all free videos. She’s super perky and happy and a complete beast. She makes it fun to work out. 🙂
Oh my God-she is perky! But, I love it. I will start using those videos this week. Thank you for the suggestion! You totally understand me! I am just not feeling like my self so I’m trying to amp it up without losing my mind-or perspective. Will let you know how I like the videos in a month or so!