I’m currently single. For awhile I was o.k. with it until I began to notice something. Every time I met someone I found that there was another relationship that I seemed to be a lot more committed to. My debt. My debt was something that I thought about everyday. I have been in various degrees of being in debt since college. I had met a couple of great guys along the way: an Australian rugby player, a Venezuelan businessman…or two!, a computer geek, and a couple more great guys who may or may not of been a great fit for me. I never found out if they were though because my debt was so attentive, so committed, and wouldn’t allow anyone else to encroach on my time.
Because of debt I was working extra jobs, tense, and nervous all of the time. I was on edge and quick to snap at others and I was just not comfortable letting people in to see my dirty little secret-debt was my real boyfriend and it was jealous. Debt called all the time, I spent money on debt to make it happy. I always seemed to give debt more than I received. Debt made me cry, a lot and my friends were so sick of our relationship.
“Why don’t you get rid of the debt?” They would ask. But I couldn’t because debt was so giving when it wanted to be. It bought me flowers, groceries, clothes, trips, and nights out on the town. Debt was so generous that it would also treat my friends to gifts and presents too. With debt I would buy gifts, take people out, and help them out in times of need.
Debt would play those Jedi mind tricks and mess with my head. “Where would you be without me Michelle? Everyone loves me, why don’t you? Why don’t you love me more? Don’t I treat you right?” When I tried to get rid of debt it would offer me more, more credit, more points, and if I were loyal it would continue to be loyal to me.
I didn’t want to share debt with someone I loved. So, I kept my heart close. Debt could be so cruel. It hated my dreams, and exploited my fears. I didn’t want to share that relationship with anyone else. It was toxic and scary.
Now, I’m over debt and as I let it go I’m so excited to open up my life and heart to someone who will help me grow as a person, supports my dreams and helps me to move forward in life. Debt is a difficult boyfriend to have. It takes up so much time and energy. You have to reassure it, nurture it with energy that could be spent on other things. I spent so much time hiding my debt that I hid my heart from great people who could have been “the One.”
As I embark on the journey to meet “the One” and clean up my debts I can’t believe how much time I spent on something so cold and uncaring. Debt made me feel so sh$tty, and tired, and broke, and undesirable. I would ask myself “Who would want to sign up for this?” I wouldn’t.
If debt is in your life be careful to get it out quickly. Because debt will hold on and hold on tight. It will whisper sweet nothings in your ear, and shout at you as you try to run away. In retrospect, I am glad that I’ve had this experience with debt. I feel a lot more compassionate, sensitive, and willing to see that there are shades of grey in every situation. I am in no position to judge when debt has a hold on someone else’s life. But, if you need someone to listen who totally understands how seductive debt can be feel free to contact me. I get it.
Debt=David
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Debt is all-consuming! It can even affect relationships with friends when you’re trying to get rid of it, because it’s hard to tell people that you can’t afford to go out with them. Good job for deciding to finally dump debt, and good luck on your journey!
Luckily, my friends are really supportive! Some are super frugal as well so it makes it easier for me to be on this journey. My super wealthy friends are pretty good about letting me suggest things to do. Honestly though I am more concerned about how the debt has affected my love life. I’ve really held back with some great guys and now I’m ready to commit and I’m over being broke and alone. It kind of sucks!
Yeah you SO need to leave debt and find a new boyfriend! 🙂
Debt is so clingy! I need to be with someone who isn’t so controlling!
You have taken the first step and that’s the most important step. You have realized that debt isn’t worth it. You will feel much more rewarded in life when the purchases come from the back account and not a piece of plastic. 🙂
I always knew it wasn’t worth it but was too young and dumb (and had no financial coaching) on what I should and shouldn’t do when it came to Student Debt. The plastic…well…so lame on my part. I’m pretty much doing everything using cash and am paying off the credit cards as quickly as possible. You’re so right though-things purchased with cash are a heck of a lot more enjoyable!
Love this post! Student debt was my boyfriend for several years and it was a bad relationship for sure. When things first started itw as a lot of fun, I was getting a big “fancy” degree and having a lot of fun going out with my friends. Several years later he started to get controlling and all of the sudden I couldn’t do the things I used to do because I couldn’t afford them anymore. Thankfully I kicked him to the curb 😉
Student debt is so clingy and annoying. I can’t wait to get rid of it. I am happy with my degree and I do use it but this is ridiculous! I am working on kicking him to the curb. It won’t be soon enough.
Great post! I hope you can kick your current boyfriend to the curb soon and find a new one.;) (or stay single, nothing wrong with that either!)You got a lot going for you. You are smart and beautiful, keep your heart open and you will find the one.
So ready to get rid of the old boyfriend and find a new one…potential fiancé is what I’m looking for! I’ve been single long enough. LOL. Thank you so much for your encouraging words and support.
AT least debt was only your boyfriend and not a husband.
So true! But, it has been around for so long sometimes I feel like I’m going through a divorce.