I recently wrote that I’ve had a number of distractions recently (true) and that I was feeling a bit frustrated that I hadn’t made the type of progress that I was hoping to make with my finances. Then, a friend of mine made a comment that basically said the following “Your actions reflect your values.”
She Was Right
In the past year I’ve made basically no forward traction on my debt repayment as I set up shop and began working for myself. I did, however, make amazing progress in other areas of my life that I had been becoming increasingly concerned about as my world became more and more depressing and unsustainable.
Where did I focus my energy this past year and what did I value?
- Myself-Quite frankly I worked for 10 years helping other people. I put their needs (and my organization’s needs) before mine. I truly loved what I did until I didn’t. This year I worked on managing my wellness, my mental health, and my physical health. I haven’t lost all of the weight that I gained in the past ten years, but I did stabilize and have maintained the same weight. I also worked on being happy. I’m not talking about becoming Pollyanna, I’m talking about developing a deep level of gratitude and appreciation for the life I have-warts and all.
- Family and Friends-I’ve spent a lot of time “showing up.” I even babysat my friend’s little girl (dad was downstairs-easiest babysitting gig ever!) I showed up for birthdays, concerts, and nights out. I showed up until the invitations to do things began to happen without my friends saying “I know you might say no, I just wanted to let you know you’re invited.” Yep, that was happening a lot towards the end of my time at my old job. This week I’m going to visit my Grandma whom I love dearly. Like all of us, she is getting older. I don’t want to ever feel like I didn’t spend enough time with my grandma, mom, or friends because I was too busy working, commuting, or feeling depressed. How sad would that be? Unfortunately my Grandma lives in Illinois, fortunately I work virtually so I can visit a lot more often. I also love meeting my mom for coffee! Talking about life, funny things that come up and just being able to connect in a way that eliminates all of the stress that used to taint our conversations.
- Learning My Business-I started freelancing basically from scratch. It has taken me some time to get a feel for the process, learning what works, what doesn’t work, and I took a lot of risks. I spoke at conferences, I met with my Mastermind Group in person, and the list goes on. I learned about invoicing, saying “no”, asking for what was right for me, and not compromising my values. Even my side hustles are in alignment with my personal mission. I should say that I’ve made a ton of mistakes, a ton. That’s going to be a great post for you to read-coming soon.
- Travel-I did travel this year. In fact, in retrospect I traveled way too much for what was going on with me this year. I needed time to rest but I probably won’t EVER go to any conferences after October again. I’m exhausted. I went to: L.A./Hawaii/Australia/Charlotte/Atlanta/and Chicago (this week). Three of the trips were business related and were worth the ROI (return on investment). However, for 2016-things will be different. I’ve already worked on my schedule and it looks like I will have trips once a month from the end of May until September.
Let’s be clear I also wanted to make money, date, and lose weight…but I focused on what was important to me consciously and subconsciously and my results tell the tale. Apparently, those issues weren’t as important to me this year as I thought.
Recently I decided to look at my vision board and was amazed at the results I had manifested and had hoped to have have happen in my life:
- Worked for myself
- Went to Australia/Hawaii
- Went to the the Australian Tennis Open
- Learn to drive (still in the process of doing this)
- Visit my Grandma!
- Grew my blog
- Embraced minimalism and have worked on embracing minimalism.
- Grew my professional network through joining a Mastermind Group
- Grew my professional network through running a Meetup group.
Actions reflecting my values has been important to this being a successful year for me on a personal level. Do I wish I focused more? Yes. Do I wish I had focused more? Yes. Would I change this year? No.
2016
Is fast approaching. I found myself uttering words I never thought I would-I don’t feel like traveling. As much as I want to see my Grandma and present at the conference I’m attending, I have to be honest and tell you that I can’t wait to have at least 6 months of uninterrupted time to focus on what I’m thinking about all the time now: losing weight, dating, and making money. That’s literally all I feel like doing. Everything else is going well.
I also realized recently that my frame of mind had changed substantially. I realized that I believe, truly believe that I deserve love and happiness like everyone else. I know that I mentioned before that I felt so bogged down and paralyzed by debt that I didn’t want to even bother dating anymore because I didn’t want to have the conversation about debt.
Now, I refuse to let happiness and love pass me by. Everyone deserves happiness and if it’s the right person they will stand by my side and encourage me as I move forward (and I will do the same for them). All of the travel has become a distraction from what I really want in my life. I look forward to connecting with new people, training for my 1/2 marathon, making money, and paying off debt. I am so happy that I took the time to work on myself and I’m 100% sure that I wouldn’t be able to make substantive, and sustainable long-term changes in my life if I hadn’t worked on myself.
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Love this! I have been having the same struggle as I worked to build my business so I could quit my job. It was a lofty goal and took a lot of work. I do want to get out of debt, but it got pushed down my list a little bit this year as I knew quitting my job would make me so much happier and then I could focus on other goals.
I want to be debt free. I’m over the debt but I needed to focus on my life first. I was depressed, lonely, gaining weight, and losing my hair. I just wasn’t going to be able to manage the level of focus that debt repayment needs. In fact, I believe that a lot of people are unable to kick debt’s a@@ because they have other life related issues that need to be addressed before working on debt. I just wanted to work on my business and learn how that process “works” and then move on from there. I have a much better handle on that and feel that 2016 will be a lot better re: earnings. Am looking forward to that.
Well done! You made great progress this year and it’s always nice to look back and reflect 🙂
Well, I’ve made some good progress but it’s time to get my money set. I’m over it.
Sounds like a plan, good luck!
Thanks! I’ll keep you posted.
I love this post. Reflecting is something that we all should do from time to time. I haven’t done as good as I would have hoped in some areas this year, but I’ve done exponentially better. I’m loving the growth and new friendships that I’ve been receiving this year. I know 2016 will be even better.
My goal is to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Other people might not get why I focused so much on personal connections and family and not debt. I am at my grandma’s house while I respond to your comment and she is so happy to see me-and I’m so happy to see her!
You’ve accomplished so much this year. I’m working on trying to manifest some items on my vision board throughout the next year. I have a lot of work ahead of me, but staying motivated and inspired it what helps keep me going.
Thanks Chonce! I might not have paid off debt in the way that I would have liked but that is my primary focus for 2016. Am in the process of revamping my Vision Board AGAIN because I’ve already had so many things happen that were on my board. Sending motivation your way.
I hope you write more posts on your journey to minimalism. Good insight on your YTD progress!
I am loving Minimalism and as soon as I stop traveling I will be downsizing even more. Will keep you posted!