I am sitting on my couch completely exhausted. A really bad old Star Trek movie with Kirstie Alley is playing on THIS channel (yep, that’s the name) and I’m just too tired to change the channel.
Luckily, I’ve mustered up some energy to wash the dishes but the deep cleaning and laundry will have to wait until tomorrow.
I’ve just spent an amazing weekend at a conference that I’ve attended for the past three years. I’ve reconnected with people, learned new things, and pushed myself to imagine the type of life I really would like for myself.
I am in my home and with exception of a little more clutter than I would like, I am comforted by my surroundings.
Being surrounded by so many wonderful and supportive people for the past 5 days has reinforced a concern that I’ve had about how I’m living my life-I don’t have enough people that I’m connected to in my day to day life. One of the problems with an extreme commute such as the one that I have is that you spend a huge chunk of your time moving from point A to point B, almost like a pendulum swinging back and forth.
People will say to me one of two things: I can’t believe you’re dong that commute. Or, you have a lot of time to do stuff during the commute.
I hate commuting.
No one can convince me that this is an appropriate way to spend one’s life.
I miss having time to do things with the people in my life. When I’m able to meet with my friends or family I hold onto those moments with a greedy, grasping quality like I’m thirsty and haven’t had water for a week.
Those brief, stolen moments are like warm sunlight on a cold winter’s day.
I’m not the only one suffering from unnecessary loneliness. It permeates the American landscape like an unseen mist. You know it’s there but can’t really tell where it is at. The mist just covers everything.
I want my time back, I want people.
Change is coming. I no longer want to waste my time. I have one life to live and if I’m reincarnated It will be a different life than the one I’m living now.
Time is both infinite and finite. Our lives are so precious, remember this everyday and ask yourself the following two questions-Am I wasting time with things that don’t reflect my values? Am I spending enough time with the people I love and care about?
When I have days off of work I am so happy. I talk to people, hang out with friends, have coffee, ride my bike and bask in human connection. I am now very clear about what is important to me and I am thinking about how to live a life that reflects what I value.
It is a very deep and intense internal conversation that I’m having right now…with myself. I’ll let you know how it goes.
By the way, the movie is The Wrath of Khan and it’s pretty bad.
Have you felt like you’re wasting time? Or, have you felt like you’re not spending enough time with people? What did you do about it?
*Picture off of Google Images*
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It was so nice to meet you! I also hate commuting! The furthest I’ve ever driven for work is 45 minutes each way and it was awful. I couldn’t wait to get a new job.
Holly It was so awesome meeting you and your hubbie. You two are hilarious! I absolutely LOATHE commuting. It’s not a natural way to live and I am totally over it.
Well you know I think you’re a pretty cool gal and I hope to visit you in Denver, sooner than later! I try my best to spend time with those I care about. The majority of my friends and immediate family are in Canada so I now go back a few times a year just to re-connect face to face. Working from home, I do talk with business colleagues almost every day, but the one on one interaction is what I value the most.
Kassandra, you’re fantastic and I really enjoyed hanging out! It would be my pleasure to show you around my town. I love visitors. I think that it just has become really clear to me what I care the most about and it’s people. Everything else is unimportant.
It was really nice to meet you, even if it was just for a moment! (Talk about a whirlwind of a conference.) Ever since I moved, I’ve been missing the friendships I left back home. I really need to focus more on going to meetups here, otherwise I’m going to turn into a hermit. =) I really love the two questions you posed; they’re so important to think about!
It was great meeting you Erin and definitely not enough time! Things were so crazy!! It’s hard establishing new connections and friendships. I love meeting new people and talking to strangers and finding out their stories-I just need more time.
I’ve been commuting a couple days a week to santa monica for some temp work and geez, that’s enough for me! I forget how much I hate it and look forward to working from home. I can’t say I blame you for wanting that. It’s a pretty long commute!
I absolutely HATE my commute. It’s a nightmare and I don’t even drive it. When I think about it, I get mentally exhausted.
Sounds like you had some good learnings and interactions. Helps to clarify your goals and way forward.
It’s weird how clarity can arrive in the least expected moments. I have been feeling this way for a long time now and getting away from the situation solidified what I feel is important: people and time. That simple. Then, travel (which needs time and people). So, super easy. I don’t need a whole bunch of stuff, etc. The hole in my life is one that I want to fill with conversation and fun times with the ones I love.
I spend a decent amount time of with my family. (Dad, Mom, Aunt and youngest brother) But I still feel like I need to make some more quality friendships with like minded people.
I’ve always had a hard time finding really good friends where I live. I feel like I connect so much more with the people I meet online than the people who live near me.
I used to spend a ton of time with friends and family and now it has dwindled substantially. I really hate it and am working to balance that out. Life without loved ones around is not a life.
We actually made it one of our summer goals to hang out with friends more. It’s one of the few I feel like we actually achieved. But then the school year started back up…all the way from preK to college in our house. And we get so busy and isolated again. This speaks to me. We’re trying to build a life where this isn’t the norm, but I can’t say we’re always 100% enjoying the journey.
I think it is fantastic that you achieved this goal. I am making some major changes in order to enable me to spend more time with my friends and family. At the end of the day when I’m 80 I will want to be surrounded by the ones I love. I’ll have the money-I just need PEOPLE!
For my first professional job out of university, I commuted one hour EACH WAY on the highway. I felt so exhausted before I even got to work. With my current job, it’s about 15 min going there and about 20 min going home (a bit more traffic on the way home, because although I start way earlier than most people, I work long hours and end up finishing work the same time as everyone else).
I think time spent with family and friends is different for everyone. While I enjoy seeing my family and friends, I really enjoy my “me” time. Where some people need to be surrounded by others often, I can make myself busy with other things by myself.
If I saw someone too often, say every week, I think I would run out of things to talk about. Lol. I don’t even really see my fiance too much because we have different work schedules and after work activities. We usually make up for it on the weekends though.
Karen, my commute is longer each way. Am completely exhausted. The other day my friend asked “Why I didn’t make an effort with…” And I was trying to express how tired I was. She said-use the right word-exhausted. Now, that’s the word that I use…I’m freaking EXHAUSTED. I am more and more concerned about time. Time for myself, time for the ones I love, time to manage my home the way that I would like.