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“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” Audre Lorde
For the past couple of weeks, I have not been feeling like myself. I’ve been clenching my teeth, waking up with migraines, and eating more than usual. These changes to my physical and mental well-being are notable because the last time I felt this level of anxiety and a lack of control of the things around me was right before I quit my job.
Add in some additional pressure that I’ve put on myself professionally to earn more and break through some professional roadblocks-I was on the road to creating a situation that would be harmful to my well-being in the long-run.
I’m Not Super Woman
I am just a woman, trying to live my best life, and find someone to love me. YES, that is a Pretty Woman reference. But, it’s how I feel.
I will be honest and say that I am PISSED OFF that at a point in time in my life when I had worked on simplifying my life and literally am working on the following 3 things:
- Love
- Losing weight
- Debt Payoff
That I now find myself fighting for all that I hold dear…because we took our eye off the ball. I’m mad at myself, I’m mad at everyone else, and I’m just mad. But, I can’t let that anger distract me from focusing on the progress that I’ve made
But, I can’t let that anger distract me from focusing on the progress that I’ve made in taking care of myself. As a woman, and as a woman of color, caring for myself is something that goes against what we have been taught. Women have been taught to push through:
- Stress
- Anxiety
- Fear
- Weight gain
I refuse to ever do that again. If I lose sight of caring for myself I will also take my eye off my goals and I am so dang close. I will acknowledge that there are situations outside of my control that are frightening to me. I will learn to manage the anxiety that comes as a result of my fears. And I will double-down on managing my health and weight and be mindful of stress eating or other habits that may be harmful to my health.
Money at a Time Like This
I am especially focused on paying off my remaining debt this year. In fact, this is the most focused that I’ve been concerning this goal in years. I will admit that fear has played a major role in reigniting my dedication to debt-freedom.
I know that high-stress moments like the one that I’m currently dealing with are triggers for me. Learning to recognize my triggers has helped me better manage my financial situation.
How?
I will continue to make a point to go the mountains and explore. To ride my bike and feel the wind on my face. To go for walks and tilt my face towards the sun. I will not let my fears and things that I can’t control, control me. Thankfully I live in a great place to do that.
I have also removed my personal Facebook profile from my phone. I have also begun reading the newspaper again and have stopped watching the news other than to get the weather.
I just couldn’t stand the constant barrage of negative energy.
I will also go somewhere quiet and read books,to a dance class, or practice yoga. I will focus on controlling how I deal with what I can’t control and I will focus on helping others.
Because, at the end of the day, that’s all I can do .
Self-Care Books
- The F$cking Relaxing Coloring Book
- The One Year Book of Hope
- Never Give Up
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Amanda @ My Life, I Guess says
You can do it Michelle! Be a little selfish if you have to. 🙂
Michelle says
Amanda, I plan on it!
Lisa says
I’ve also cut back from news. If it’s noteworthy, I usually hear about it from coworkers/others. But I no longer seek it outright. It just gives me so much anxiety and freezes me up instead of fueling my actions.
Michelle says
I just go down a rabbit hole of crazy thoughts. I have to focus on what I can control so that’s all I’m doing right now.
Jason Butler says
Come on Michelle. You got this! Start practicing yoga. I’m doing this 30 day yoga challenge and it has helped me relax a little.
Michelle says
You’re doing a Yoga Challenge?! So cool!!
Jason Butler says
Yep. I am already seeing a difference.
Centsai says
Your mental health is super important and it is smart of you to take care of yourself! We wish you the best in your journey to a debt-free life and a healthy and safe weight-loss journey! We hope the self-care books and we will definitely be looking into buying that coloring book because it sounds amazing and definitely necessary!
Michelle says
There is nothing better than setting aside some quiet time to color bad words LOL!
NZ Muse says
Do whatever it is you need to do to recentre! Move your body, eat what feels right, practice affirmatinos. <3
Michelle says
It’s amazing how much external issues can influence/affect your health. I’m going to start going to yoga as well. I just have not felt well at all since the election.
James says
Life is full of surprises, Michelle! Despite all these hurdles in life like debt, stress, and among others, I think there are more positive things to which our attention should divert. Nice that it seems you are more in control now than before.
Michelle says
I 100% agree! I’m really focused on finding the positives in life. Focusing on the negatives will just drive me nuts LOL 🙂
Michelle says
You and my mom! I’m writing down the frequency, what I’m eating etc. They’ve gone away but I’m really paying attention and am hoping that they don’t return.