This past Spring I embarked on a very intense process of self-reflection and personal renewal. One of the major things I’ve been addressing is to eliminate any toxic situations/people/or thoughts that I may have been dealing with for the past few years. Luckily I wasn’t dealing with toxic people on a personal level but I was dealing with some toxic thoughts and began working on them. As I became calmer and a lot more relaxed I noticed that there would be days when I would get super angry and tense and I couldn’t figure out why. I had started the day off calmly, eaten breakfast, and my house was clean. I’d had my first cup of coffee, what the heck was wrong with me?
* In order for me to support my blogging activities, I may receive monetary compensation or other types of remuneration for my endorsement, recommendation, testimonial and/or link to any products or services from this blog. Please read my disclosure here.*
Then, after listening to a particularly contentious Dave Ramsey show, I realized that it was my daily appointment with Dave that was messing up my day, making me angry and tense and that I needed to quit him if I wanted to maintain calm in my life.
Dave Ramsey Was Making Me Angry
I bet a lot of people would be surprised that I was a regular listener of the Dave Ramsey talk show. I really enjoyed his no holds barred approach and his tough love debt talks really appealed to me.
Americans (myself included) have become a bit whimpy and need to be pushed to be accountable for their financial actions. Sometimes that includes some tough talk. Dave was great at pushing people and calling them out on their crap. But the best thing about the show was (and still is) the Debt Free scream! I love, love, love to hear people talk about how they walked through the fire that is life and achieved what feels like the impossible.
I wanted to be one of them. Debt free including my tiny place. Going on the show and screaming at the top of my lungs “I’M DEBT FREE!!!”
But, as I listened to Dave I started to notice that he’s kind of angry and I don’t understand why. I love that he rebuilt his life and has become the success that he is today. I love that he believes in charitable giving and that he wants for his listeners to be successful too. Dave is an amazing resource and to a certain extent a wonderful teacher but he started to lose me.
He started to lose me when he berated people for helping their family and talked about their family members in ways that I found a bit shocking. He started to lose me with long-winded tirades about: the Government and other political issues that were quite frankly important but at the end of the day distractions when dealing with urgent personal financial problems.
Why Are You So Angry Dave?
But, ultimately it was just his unexplainable anger at people that turned me off. You’re rich as heck Dave. And even though you have millions of listeners every day-I know that you would have double the number if you would chill out. If you changed your approach using love and compassion instead of anger and exasperation when speaking with people, I”m sure you would have more listeners.
You have so much to teach us and we have so much to learn from you. You clearly know what you’re talking about and that’s what drew me to you. Somewhere along the way you lost sight of the fact that everyday people are struggling and that when they call you for help. These people don’t need to be talked to like their fools. And every time you say “I’m not mad at ya, you can do what you want..” I know that you really are mad at us for not being like you. I couldn’t hear you over all of your shouting at people and that’s too bad because I did truly like you and still believe a lot of what you teach.
Dave, you were one of my stressors for the past couple of years which is too bad because I listened to you daily for help and guidance. So, I’m quitting your talk show and listening to 80’s Glam Rock, Chilled Out electronica, and Bob Marley at work instead. I’m going to relax and grab a soothing cup of tea-minus the crazy. I’ll still follow your teachings but without all of the shouting. I have to tune you out.
But…
I still 100% recommend reading his books. However, if you want to stay calm and relaxed-don’t listen to his show.
I Have To Quit You
And I’m feeling a lot more relaxed already.
Featured Image Source: Forbes
Want to Start a Blog?
I love blogging! It has been an incredible experience, transformed my life, and connected me with a ton of amazing people. Blogging is a pretty cheap activity and I recommend hosting your blog with Siteground. Many bloggers have begun leaving HostGator and BlueHost and moving to Siteground. Myself included! Read why I’m leaving HostGator and BlueHost (I have 2 blogs one on each hosting platform) and moving to Siteground. If you’re a new blogger Siteground will cost around $3.95 a month (depending on the size of your audience). They have great customer service and tutorials on how to host your new WordPress blog on Siteground. Need help setting up your blog? Check out this free guide from Elite Blog Academy.
Latest posts by Michelle (see all)
- How Work Policies Against Black Women Birthed a Love of the Soft Life - 20 March, 2024
- How Taylor Swift’s IP Victory Could Change the Business of Music - 28 February, 2024
- Why Don’t More Personal Finance Content Creators Talk About Policy - 16 January, 2024
He does seem really angry. I also don’t like Suze Orman because she makes me cringe every time she uses the words “girlfriend” or “boyfriend”.
LOL! There are just too many things in this world that are good. Things aren’t perfect and I’m just as frustrated with certain things in the U.S. but being a jerk to people isn’t going to help. I agree re: Suze! Mean people suck.
I tried listening to him on YouTube… I kept hearing “stupid people” and more about defending himself than talking about investments. I had to quit listening.
He makes me too mad. So, I had to let him go. I hate that he mistreats people.
I only listened a couple times and didn’t feel any particular way towards his show, expect that I’m just not a fan of radio talk shows in general. I’m sure the PF advice was good, and with those I take what info I want and leave the rest behind. But, I totally hear you on any negative tone coming from the TV or radio. It just makes you feel icky and you end up absorbing that and carrying that around. Yesterday I tuned into the real housewives of OC on Hulu for the first time (I ran out of House Hunters episodes to watch). Whether it’s fake or real or “Rake” (ha ha), I still felt icky watching it. I hate watching people just be mean assholes for no reason. That’s why I hated The Apprentice too. They were practically forced to say mean things about each other in front of that d-bag Donald. I love watching more positive type videos on Youtube now. It just makes me feel better about the world.
Do you ever wonder if people feel like everything is awful because all they listen to are the reports of all of the awful things/people etc. that are out there? It’s amazing how making a concerted effort to focus on the good (call me Pollyana) can make such a huge difference. It’s as if we are ingesting negativity as a substance. I’m just not interesting in doing that anymore. Mean people suck and we become part of the problem when we support that sort of behavior. NO MORE!! The world isn’t awful, there are a lot of amazing people out there and the more I focus on that the more I meet them. It’s great.
I listen to Dave Ramsey, but just because I feel oddly calmed by listening to Southern accents (weird, I know!). But I don’t agree with a lot of what he says — not using credit cards for rewards, not getting the employer match while in debt, only saving 15% for retirement — and I’m so turned off by the conservative/religious bend he adds to EVERYTHING. It’s usually completely irrelevant and forced.
I do like his accent but he just has gotten too angry. I just can’t do it anymore. I also don’t agree with a number of things that he supports and I’m fine with that. I just need calm energy in my life right now. I’ve dealt with way too much stress for too long.
LOL. I’m actually a huge fan of his and what he’s done. I think his anger just stems from the terrible financial situations his listeners get themselves into. I agree, he may have more followers if he was less angry, but sometimes you just need that tough love POV. I did get tired of it myself, mostly at the people calling in than him, so I actually stopped listening to him, too.
I wonder, though, why is he so angry about THEIR life? It’s not his life, they have to live with the consequences of their actions-he doesn’t. I think being irritated makes sense. The crazy anger doesn’t make sense to me. I just got tired of it!
I choose to think that he is just compassionate about other people so they do not make the same financial mistakes that he has made. I think the same about Suze Orman. She gets terribly feisty when callers ask “Can I Afford It.” But I think she is looking out for their best interests even when it is hard to see.
I used to think this until it became unbearable for me to listen to him ranting at people for making very human choices. Suze has a high pitched voice that I can’t listen to even though I do feel that she has some good ideas sometimes. I think that these shows illustrate the importance of thinking for one’s self and taking everything with a grain of salt. If that’s looking after me I think I’ll just wander in the wilderness of financial confusion on my own.
I used to listen to Dave until one of my local radio stations picked up Clark Howard. From the sound of this article you might like Clark. He is friendly to people, positive, and gives advice about a wider variety of stuff.
I liked listening to Dave just because he was talking about money, but it bothered me that so much of what he was saying was wrong. It drove me up the wall when he told people they should pay off their debts in order of smallest balance to largest.
Thank you so much for mentioning Clark Howard. You are the second person to bring him up-so I’m definitely going to check him out. I just feel that we (Americans) are screaming at each other in all walks of life: On t.v., talk radio, in politics, and the list goes on. I am now shutting people out because I just am uninterested in listening to all of the yelling. I need positive energy so that I can focus on bringing good things into my life. I’ve spent the better part of the last 5 years dealing with low-grade depression and all of this external anger doesn’t help. It’s amazing how much better I’ve begun to feel as I get rid of toxic energy (yes, I sound like a hippy!)
I understand what you’re saying though I’ve rarely heard him, just read stuff about him. Suze can get a bit grating too. I like Gail Vaz-Oxlade as she has a no nonense approach, but doesn’t seem quite as angry. I don’t blame you for tuning him out Michelle.
I just couldn’t deal with it anymore. I felt like if I was dealing with my own negative behaviors/thoughts and trying to eliminate them, then it was inconsistent to listen to someone who is so angry and negative. It is shocking how much calmer I feel now that I ‘ve stopped listening to him during my work day. This is important because I deal with people and they already stress me out so I need to do everything I can to stay chilled out.
I completely understand your perspective…I think I understand DR’s also. (I am in a service profession where I also give advice on finances and debt freedom). When people make stupid mistakes and don’t learn from them, or justify them, it affects ALL of us. Who bails out the country for irresponsible home-buyers or students who take out massive loans? It’s not “the government”…it’s US!. When someone opts to get large visible tattoos, pierce their face, or let their loan balloon because of non-payment, while it is their life…when they can’t get a decent job to feed their family, WE end up feeding their family, making their car payments, paying their housing, etc.
But I am with you…I LOVE DR and what he is doing, but depending on my mood, I sometimes choose not to tune in. 🙂
I haven’t listened to him in about 2 months. He lost me. I just can’t deal with anyone’s negativity anymore. It has taken me a long time to get my head in the right space. I like where I’m finally, finally at and there’s no looking back! I have to say that there is a lot of stupid stuff that we the taxpayers pay for that has nothing to do with individual’s stupid decisions: $500 dollar toilets, lights turned on too long, unnecessary office supplies, and the list goes on. I just can’t “hear” him with all of the darn shouting. I just tune him out-and that’s a shame because there are a lot of people who would benefit from his wisdom. I’m just over gratuitous anger. I sound like Pollyanna but there’s still a lot of good out there. Can’t he focus on that and be a part of creating good energy?
He really drove me nuts. I have listened to him for several months-and don’t miss him at all. I don’t want people to call me names when I call asking for help, I don’t want to be mocked, and I don’t want to listen to shouting. I am so over all of the shouting and yelling that people seem to want to indulge in. I’m over it.
This summer I’ve decided to shut out most things that are irritating and I’m a lot happier for it.
Hi Michelle, just found your blog and will follow 🙂 I get what you are saying about DR- it’s not so much his message but his tendency to be abrasive and flippant, even rude. I think it’s just part of his brand, that no-nonsense it-is-what-it-is take responsibility thing. His advice is sound and works, especially for people struggling with debt and a history of mindless or bad decision-making. I think his callers are OK with that “tough love” attitude, maybe even expect it. Many of his callers are in pretty dire situations of their own making, and need (want?) to hear the “smackdown”, to borrow a term from Suze. DR understands that a financial plan is worthless without the motivation to carry it out, hence his smallest to largest debt snowball and other similar advice.
Still, this style of intervention definitely detracts from the information he is trying to convey for you, and
you are smart to tune out. I try to separate the message from the messenger if at all possible, but there is an excellent vegan podcast I had to ditch because I just cannot stand the presenter.
Thanks Susanna! You’re right that a lot of Dave’s philosophies work, that’s what drew me to him in the first place. As I listened to him more and more I noticed that I was really on edge after listening to his show. REALLY edgy. I also think that I was becoming a little intolerant of other people’s financial decisions…to point where I was way too judgy about how they live their lives. Of course I’m judgmental, but I was becoming way too harsh! I do think that there is a place for tough love, but there is also a need for compassion. I just had to let him go and the thought of listening to him shout at people is a huge turn off. It’s too bad because I am sure there are other people who could really benefit from his teachings who are completely turned off by his style.
Hi Michelle. I’m with you… I can’t listen to him either. All that hell-fire and brimstone Southern preacher style does nothing for me and, in my view, detracts from his basically sound message: get out of debt and stay out of debt. There’s tough love and then there’s bullying…
I do think that he has crossed over to being a bully and I don’t respond well to that. I just can’t deal with that level of anger anymore from anyone. He has a fantastic message but it’s lost in all of the the stuff that I have to tune out. So, I tuned him out! I noticed a huge drop in my stress levels too.
Here are my thoughts on Dave R.
It irritates me when he says “Better than I deserve” why dave, did you do something to not deserve the wealth that you have today. Every show has a guest or guests that want to do their debt-free scream. How is it logistically possible to have these guests on every show? Why do some of his callers sound like the callers from QVC, as in professional voice actors. He seems ready with the dialog, almost as if there is a script.
And yet I will still listen to his show because I may still learn something new. Plus there isn’t much else to listen to on AM except for traffic reports for my drive home.
Haha! Paul,I think you should start listening to podcasts instead. Check out Side Hustle Nation, Smart Passive Income, Martinis and Your Money, Girl Gone Frugal. I do think he is right about debt-I just can’t handle how angry he seems. I wish he would just mellow out a little bit so that I can listen to the show again…but, that’s not going to happen so I’m letting him go!
I’ve been an on and off Dave Ramsey listener for 4 years now. I too noticed in 2014 a number of episodes where he was increasingly short tempered to a point that it was getting annoying. Maybe staff members pointed it out later in the season because it changed midway through the year. While I disagree with 90% of his political views, I agree with 90% of his financial advice. That includes paying off the debts in order of balance not interest because debt repayment is 80% psychological.
Mike, I also agree with his financial advice but I am already beating myself up for financial missteps, I don’t need to be yelled at by some guy on top of everything else. Don’t laugh but I think I wrote that post in 2014.
I called his show today. I was a first time listener and have been thru a bad marriage that left me penniless. I wanted advice on how to put my money away since I’m now 50. I told him I was remarried and we keep our money separate. He didn’t like that at all.. He was rude, cut me off and told me I needed a marriage councilor. I was so shocked I sat there for several minutes staring at my phone. Then cried because I realized he judged me so harshly on the air with who knows how many listeners. I will NOT be listening to him again. Negitive energy isn’t for me. I am still having residual effects 3 hours later.
Shay, I am so sorry that was your experience. My mom recently told me that if she were to ever remarry that she would keep her money separate. I know why-she and my dad divorced and she was left with $2, me, and a white Toyota Corolla. I think that people don’t understand that there is sometimes a back story that goes with someone’s money decision. Get a glass of wine or tea and let it go. Don’t let that experience ruin your evening. Clark Howard may be a better person to reach out to or just give yourself some grace to rethink how you would like to approach your finances. Sending you good vibes.
I was listening to his show last night and he made a caller cry. He is the part of a human’s body that is used as a cushion for sitting. (That’s as polite as I can be). The local CBS affiliate in Philly picked him up a while ago, and I wasn’t thrilled about it. He’s not a good fit for the Philly metro. I would hear his voice droning on and on, and I just hated his shtick. So mainly I turned it off as soon as I heard his voice.
Last nite I left the radio on and realized it was him. A young woman was asking for advice and he basically called her stupid. She started crying, you could hear the emotion in her voice. What a Class “A” Jerk of a man Dave Ramsey is. I also noted that he’s a lot more respectful to high income callers, even if they’re tens of thousands of dollars in debt. The young woman he bullied and her partner only pulled in a little more than 50k/year.
Dave Ramsey, please get off the Philly airwaves, we don’t need your kind in the City of Brotherly Love.
OK, now I’m off to pen a letter to the station’s GM.
p.s. Clark Howard is a true gentleman and a much better advisor.
It’s so interesting that you mentioned Clark Howard! I got to meet him briefly at the FinCon conference that I attended in September. I found him to be a very kind guy with great energy. I just don’t get what being mean to people is supposed to do. As a person who has struggled with: depression connected to my finances, underearning, overspending, etc. I already knew that things were a mess. I just need someone to sit down with me, share what was going on, and then help me create an action plan. I needed strategies, community and a cheerleader. Not someone to tell me I was stupid. And it’s frustrating because while his system DOES work, he loses a lot of people in the messaging and in his demeanor.
Dave Ramsey is all about meritocracy. Building a finance channel on criticism fails to address deeper issues.
He made me crazy and I had to move on. I couldn’t get over how mad he is. Who’s that mad with that much money?
Michelle, not much has changed. For years, I was forgiving of his irrational vitriol towards people b/c the advice helped me so much, but I too stopped listening because recently a woman mentioned in passing and not maliciously that she had a bad experience with Churchill mortgage. Dave said “I can’t help you, you’re just whining” and hung up! He could have instead said “gee, that’s unusual for Churchill. Hold on, we’ll get your info and see if we can help make it right”. But no, he was just an unprofessional jerk. I’m also tired of his condescension.
I think the key word is-vitriol. I get tough love, I just don’t get irrational anger at other people. They have to live with their mistakes…until they decide that they are sick of getting the results they’re getting. It might be annoying, but, that’s how it goes with people. When they’re ready, they’re ready. Some people will never be ready.
Whatever works for you, Michelle.
We are living in a very soft culture. And people need a kick in the pants sometimes. Being broke can have lasting scars on families and children.
So, I think it is personal to him in that way. Good topic!
You make a VERY valid point that broke leaves scars and that Dave may be reacting on a deeper emotional level than I give him credit for. I definitely have those scars. But, I tend to be angry at myself for being a f#cking screw up with my money vs. being mad at other people. When they’re ready, they’re ready. I just keep thinking about the fact that he basically lives in a castle now in Nashville. It just feels like he’s forgotten how it feels to be that broke…from the emotional standpoint. I haven’t. I just don’t want to kick people when they’re down. And, I agree 100% people are soft nowadays in many ways.
There are a few flaws in DR’s questioning of his callers and it drives me nuts because you can’t make recommendations on little to no information. First, when he asks how much the household income might be, he never follows up with “and how many people in the household?” Kind of important information needed to determine how quickly debt can be repaid. If you make 100,000 and have a wife and six kids, it is considerably different than just a husband and wife. In addition, he should take into consideration where the person lives, before recommending a 1000 “beater” car for transportation. I can tell you that living in Michigan and expecting a 1000 car to get you to work when it is 15 degrees below zero is a pipe dream. Tennessee is a completely different climate in the winter months, and if your 1000 car can’t get you to work, you won’t be paying off any bills without employment. And finally, the initial 1000 emergency fund is also very poor advice. If you e cut up your credit cards and your furnace blows up when it’s 15 below, 1000 is not going to get you very far in regards to heat. I’ve never understood how budgeting is so difficult for people to grasp, but apparently there are thousands of people that need help with this very elementary concept. Glad I was never careless enough to lose my fortune and have always lived on a budget. It’s just simple math people!
All of this response is also why I get frustrated with Dave. I just feel like he hears what he wants to hear. There are nuances to each situation. And, as you point out a family of 6 living on $100,000 is very different from a family of 2. He just is so angry at people and I’m so turned off by it. Why is he angry at people who are reaching out for help? It’s so frustrating to listen to the conversations that he has with these people. They typically are doing the best they can with the information that they have.
Dave Ramsey gives decent advice to people about getting out of debt if they are desperate and cannot figure out hoe to do it themselves. He gives terrible investment advice and his advice on insurance and getting out of timeshares is clouded by his conflicts of interest with mortgage companies, insurance companies, and the ever [resent ENDORSED LOCAL PROVIDERS. He receives fees and kickbacks from all these organizations. His advice on RMD’s from retirement accounts is atrocious(taking 8% a year out of retirement account is a recipe for disaster). He claims that nobody can use a credit card responsibly and debit cards have the same protections as credit cards. This is total nonsense. I recently rented a car and hit a dog waith the car resulting damage to the car. Since I did not have collision or comprehensive coverage on my car, the credit card I used covered the collision damage waiver at the rental car company. A debit card would not cover this. Also, when you use a debit card the money is taken out of your account immediately, just like an electronic check. If there is a problem, you can have boiunced check fees, overdraft fees, and a fight with the bank over all this nonsense. Call a credit card company and the charge is immediately taken off your bill and no such problems exist. But the worst paart about DR is that he calls anyone who disagrees with him an idiot, a moron, or just plain stupid. Well, let me tell you: I am a multimillionaire and I have used credit cards for the last 50 years. I have never paid a late fee, interest, or any fee associated wih credit cards.I also do not pay yearly fees. I only use free annual credit cards. I take advantage of 2% cash back from Capital One and love it. I never had a budget and I invest in individual stocks. These are all things that DR says are impossible. And yet, I am amazed that people take his nonsense seriously. Thother amazing thing is that he denigrates John Bogle and Warren Buffet because they do not buy into his nonsense.
I think that people have to do what works for them and what they will actually commit to doing for the long run.
I actually found your blog when I Googled “Does anyone else think Dave Ramsey is a jerk?” LOL! I, like you, had that moment that I just had enough of him. He’s on the radio on my way home from work ever day, and I was appalled at the way he talked to this person in the last show I listened to, repeatedly saying “stupid” and “idiot,” etc. I couldn’t help but think, “How is this attitude helping anyone?” It was degrading and rude, and I hate hearing anyone be bullied, which is what it sounded like to me. I’m done. I can’t listen to him anymore. I also don’t agree with some of the advice he gives, but the negativity and degrading comments are what pushed me away.
Angela, I’m also blocked by Dave Ramsey on Twitter and I’ve blocked him. I just think that you can be firm with people and tell them the truth without being a dick.
I thought I was the only one who thought that about Dave Ramsey. Don’t get me wrong. His advice on getting out debt is top notch. But the other part of Dave is just awful. He sounds like a arrogant asshole sometimes! I’m not a fan of his advice on stop all investment while getting out debt. That doesn’t make sense to me. I really like your blog and keep up the good work.
I don’t get why he’s so dang grumpy. It makes no sense.