I hate bananas, they smell, are mushy, and people love to eat them after they get all spotty. Gross. Did I mention that they also smell? Almost everyone that loves bananas will say the following when asked about their banana love, “They’re good for you and they have a lot of potassium.” They never say that they eat bananas because they are delicious. Or, that there is a light creamy texture reminiscent of custard. Basically, people have failed at making bananas appealing to me so, I don’t eat them. Except frozen in smoothies taking special care to COMPLETELY hide the taste.
So what the hell does this have to do with saving money? It’s my view that the concept of saving money is sold to people in the wrong way. We’re told that we should save because it’s a good thing to do, you should save in case of an emergency. There is a lack of connecting with emotions that affect our money lives. These things that we’re saving for seem so abstract and I don’t know about you but I like to live in the fool’s paradise where emergencies don’t happen to me. Emergencies happen to other people. The reality is as long as you’re alive the possibility of an emergency is around the corner and if you haven’t prepared yourself you will make choices that you normally wouldn’t because you haven’t built up emergency reserves. You could find yourself: borrowing money, getting payday loans, using your credit cards, selling your stuff, stealing, running away and in extreme cases limiting your food intake.
I mentioned in an earlier post that I didn’t have an emergency fund. I do have equity in my home, credit cards, and a retirement account. But, I don’t want to touch the equity in my home because in the end it would cost me more to do that. I don’t want to use my credit cards during an emergency because it may be difficult to repay those cards, and I don’t want to touch my retirement account because I would be out of a job in order to access that account and that money is earmarked for my retirement.
As I began to save more aggressively I realized that saving money is an act of self-love. Imagine wrapping yourself in a cash blanket (new bills only for this exercise) imagine how good it would feel to have what feels like what is a ton of money to you that you could access easily in times of need. I used to put everyone and everything else first: family, bills, and friends. But, by doing this I weakened my position at the bargaining table of life. As my bank account grows so does my self-confidence. I am operating more and more from a position of power.
What things do you do that would be filed under “self-love?” Don’t be a perv! I’m talking about money. Have you ever noticed that when people are suffering from financial issues that other parts of their lives start to slip. It’s not surprising that people gain weight, or their homes get a little messy, or their relationships begin to slip. To stay fit you have to focus on yourself. To keep things neat/clean/and tidy you have to be in tuned with your surroundings. To be good friend and family member you have to feel connected with the people who are in you life. In my case all three things occurre-I gained weight, my home got messier than what would be normal for me (I tend to be pretty organized and tidy) and I felt distant from others. I just didn’t feel good about myself.
So back to saving! Every dollar doesn’t represent a missed opportunity. It represents an opportunity in the making. If someone had told me this maybe I would have thought about saving money in a different way.
As I continue to practice self-love and save my money here are some of the opportunities/goals/and dreams that I’m running towards:
1.) 3-6 months Emergency fund. This doesn’t need to be explained.
2.) A trip to Europe with my mom. I want to pay for the trip-CASH. Luckily, both my mom and I are up for anything so she’s easy to please. I want to fly from Denver-Reykivik-London. Then take the train to Brussels-Paris-Switzerland-Spain-Portugal. Yes, this is a long trip. But, it’s time for us to take one and to dream big.
3.) My future life as someone’s future wife and mother
4.) Eventually running my own business.
5.) Retirement and money for my mother’s care
My money love blanket rocks and the weird thing is, it didn’t take a large amount of cash to cause a shift in my brain about how saving is GOOD! I like having moving in the bank! So, if you are feeling overwhelmed by your personal life and your financial life that’s ok. Just start small because small changes do make a big difference. For those of you who have nothing saved that’s ok. You’re in this moment now. What are you running towards? Isn’t that a better question to ask yourself? Does asking what are you running towards change the dynamic of how you view saving money?
I am in the debt repayment process right now and it’s slow going. And I’m trying to lose weight, and it’s slow going. But, I’ve heard that from a lot of people that there is a moment when action meets momentum. That’s the moment I’m running towards.
Each time I tried to to save money before I would spend it within a month of the money hitting my savings account. I would also prioritize everything and everyone else first. This process wasn’t working for me. Now I have so much I want to do it is not a sacrifice to save my money. It’s a joy. What are you running towards? You’re not too old or too young to have dreams that you would like to have come true. Ask yourself what do you dream about for yourself and then start working on your Money Love Blanket.
Why do we sell money concepts so badly?
She loves herself…why don’t you?
Money love blankets rock.
Save.
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This line really resonated with me: As my bank account grows so does my self-confidence. So true. I also feel a sense of relief. When I know my bank account is getting low, I get anxious and crabby. Knowing I have a big cushion makes me feel a lot calmer. Good post!
When I was younger I used to save like a Rock Star for all of those trips I was taking. I’ve been wondering why I’ve been so resistent to saving for so long. But, as my little savings grows I’ve noticed a shift in my levels of anxiety. Also, there are things that I am saving for that haven’t happened yet but I am hoping by focusing on them I will manifest them. That’s so Boulder of me!
“I am in the debt repayment process right now and it’s slow going. And I’m trying to lose weight, and it’s slow going. But, I’ve heard that from a lot of people that there is a moment when action meets momentum. That’s the moment I’m running towards.”
Amen Michelle. Thank you for giving me some hope and inspiration this Monday morning 🙂
I have to keep reminding myself not to give up! Sometimes it is so hard to stay positive but I am trying my best.
Oh, I completely agree. I LOVE thispost. SO eloquent and well put.
Off topic – I am weird in that I neither love bananas (like my BF) nor hate them (like my boss). They are one of the few fruits I tolerate. However, I don’t like banana flavoured anything. be it baking or a milkshare.
I think the percentage of people who hate bananas is around 5%. I wish I could be indifferent, sadly they illicit extreme emotions such as loathing and disgust!