For the past couple of years or so the word(s):microaggressions have popped up on t.v., in commercials, and on NPR. What exactly am I talking about?
Microaggressions are defined as: the slight digs, talking down to, and assumptions made to people typically based on race but not confined to that (Wikipidia/etc) I would imagine that people of color/short people/tall people/fat people/etc experience these in their lives. For the purpose of this post I’m specifically discussion money microaggressions because I’m certain that people have experienced them or perpetuated them and why it’s an important conversation for us to have.
Here are some examples:
- You go into a shop ( and have money) but the shopkeepers assume you don’t. Because of your Race/your outfit/or accent. The shopkeepers proceed to follow you around the store making you feel embarrassed and uncomfortable. You leave and don’t make your purchase. Or, you stay and make a huge purchase-TO PROVE THAT YOU CAN!
- Your from Europe and are visiting the U.S. and go out for dinner. The waiter/waitress adds the tip to your bill (because they assume you won’t tip). You’ve visited the U.S. a number of times visiting your American relatives and typically tip at 20% for good service. Ironically, the server undertipped themselves.
- You talk about the neighborhood that you live in and people ask if you’re renting. Every single time. You own and have owned a home in that neighborhood for years. At this point you enjoy the look of shock on people’s faces when you mention where you live.
- You live in a small home (even though you can afford more) people assume you don’t have a lot of money because you have a small home. You just didn’t feel like dealing with all of the extra space and don’t enjoy yard work. Small places rock!
- You use coupons to save money, people assume you have no money. Ironically, the money you save you use to: donate to charities, invest in stocks, help family, or pay off debt.
- You have a nice smart phone but through: Cricket/Republic Wireless/Walmart etc. people assume that you don’t have enough money to have an iPhone-you do, you just don”t want to spend the money. It’s just a freaking phone to you. As long as you get your calls-you’re good.
- You bought a small car for cash people make fun of you. Why don’t you have a big car? Because you: like to pay less for gas, like small cars, or just don’t car about cars as long as it gets your from A to B.
- You bought a big car for cash, but people assume you don’t have the money for it but you do.
- You’re American traveling abroad people think: you’re stupid and you’re rich. You’re neither. You worked for a year for that trip and are super smart. Or, you are rich and smart. Give us a break already!
The thing is money microaggressions affect Government public policy, access that people are given to certain services, the way people are treated- all based on a series of assumptions that we make in a short span of time.
Haven’t you heard the pundits talk about the alleged “welfare queen and her nice stuff?” I’m wondering why people assume that she/he might not have had nice things before needing help?
Our prejudices affect more than we realize. You don’t know what happened to a person before they ended up in whatever circumstance that they currently exist in. I want us to be a lot more compassionate with one another-it’s better than assuming something negative about one another.
I’m sharing a video that I originally saw in another blog post. I can’t remember the name of the blog (last week or so) so if you saw that post could you let me know so that I can include a link to the post? Gracias!
Have You Experienced a Money Microaggression? How Did You React?
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I actually don’t mind money microagressions when people think I don’t have money because I don’t have a car, or bought a used one in cash.. or don’t own a home.
I’d rather play up not having money so that they don’t feel resentful of me.. and I really don’t care.
I have experienced a few of the things on the list that I posted. At this point I just roll with it because who cares what other people think? I just want to laugh all the way to the bank. Let’s see how that goes!
I don’t recall ever experiencing it with money, but I do feel like I’ve experienced it other ways. In volleyball there is a lot of that based on your height. You aren’t asked to play in a lot of tournaments because people assume you’re not good, or also that you’re known for not being a hard partier.
I wonder how the shortest man in the NBA feels? People don’t like people who aren’t hard partiers? How do they find their designated drivers? I think that people need to just stop assuming things about other people. Don’t place limits on what I can do, buy etc. I just feel like telling people to MIND THEIR BUSINESS-and JUST BE NICE. Don’t you love the all caps? LOL!
I experienced this with an older cousin of my husband’s (who is a lovely person, I might add). When we married I became an instant mom to his three kids (he was a widower), and every time I saw her (when we visited his home town), she would ask me “Are you working?”. It’s as if she expected me to quit my job as soon as I got married to care for his kids. Hello? My salary was higher than his and I didn’t get married to just become a mother. What got me is that she asked me this every time I saw her, and she wasn’t senile or anything. In fact she seemed quite progressive. I could never figure this out.
It’s so interesting how women’s roles in the home have changed so much. Most of my older female relatives have always worked and without their income their families would have struggled more! I think that now we have become comfortable with the idea of enjoying what we do, growing ourselves as entities separate from our identities as: wife and mother. The idea that your contribution to the family should also include income-without emasculating your spouse-is probably counter everything she has grown up knowing.
It drives me batty that people think it’s okay to treat the poor differently than the rich. Number 2 actually doesn’t sound like a bad thing, though. When you survive on tips, it really sucks when nice people who aren’t familiar with our (totally screwed up) tipping culture stiffs you. I suppose a server could ask if they should add the tip to the bill for them, but it still leaves them in danger of losing out from culture differences.
I’ve experienced several on my list. I’ve gotten to the point where I just let things go. I don’t have all day to expelling where I stand financially to strangers. I would say though that when I travel abroad I do check out the money culture so that I don’t make big money mistakes. I can’t expect that of other people, but wish they would focus on stuff like that before traveling.