You’re probably wondering “What are you talking about Michelle?” What is this mystical “Money Swagger” that you speak of? Well, let me explain. First, I am not implying that you know how to manage your money. I am talking about the swagger that happens when you live in a place that people would consider privileged.
You could also call it “cockiness.”
In my neck of the woods we joke about how easy it would be to leave and return to Colorado. We will say, “At least it’s not Detroit.” With a bit of laughter and a snicker.
When I was little, I grew up in Boulder, Colorado. It is a small town that is routinely on top of lists for: quality of life, educated population, and wealth.
People who live there regularly: hike, meditate, eat organic food, go to yoga, travel (Costa Rica is popular) and have heated discussions about politics, progressive ideas, and great restaurants to go to over locally roasted coffee, in a local coffee shop, made by a barista usually named Summer or Phoenix.
I Do This Too. Because of Where I Live.
You have to understand, things were actually very rough in the Jackson household. My mother was attending university, working a dozen jobs, and occasionally I would even go to class with my mom when she didn’t have me scheduled for an activity that day. She worked hard, struggled, cried, and studied. My mom also grew intellectually and as a person due to the life she was living. I remember her graduation day very clearly.
While my mom was struggling to work her way through college I remember the following in terms of my life:
- Horseback riding c/o the YMCA in Nederland (small mountain town)
- Sleep Away Camp-8 week sleep away camp. It was just like the movies.
- Outward Bound-A 3 week camp where we hiked through the mountains and survived. It was awesome
- Feeling Safe and Secure
- Feeling Confident
- Subconsciously feeling the power of “place”
Now, I fully understand that my lifelong reality was borne through my mom’s vision, focus, and struggle, I have never known what it is like to be belittled because of where I came from. As a person of color, this sense of empowerment is a big deal.
Now, as a fully fledged adult I am aware of the power of place. Of how going to the mountains for snowboarding is not an everyday occurrence. That hiking during my lunchtime is huge and that taking yoga to get centered during the work day is specific to where I grew up.
I do not consider myself a “rich” person but my experiences would say otherwise.
Without knowing it I have that “Subconscious Swagger of Place.” I catch myself thinking things that catch me off guard such as: “Why don’t they know that?” “You haven’t done that before?” “You don’t know how to ski?” “You’ve never gone abroad before?” and “You haven’t had truffle salt?”
The thing is, the people that I’m around and have always been around have been exposed to all of these things. Through the hard work of their parents, through trust funds, or through their own hard work the people that I know do all of the things that people aspire to on a regular basis: travel, play golf, buy homes, have kids, etc.
As a person with debt I realize that what I lived around contributed to my world view. And, even when I pay off my debt I will still have a normal that is very different from most people’s. How does this sense of place and money swagger affect my spending? I believe it affects it in a big way. Thank goodness I’m an Accidental Hipster or I would be screwed.
Do You Have Money Swagger
Because of Where You Live?
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Love this Michelle! We all have tunnel vision from time-to-time, especially when it comes to money. 🙂
P.S. What is truffle salt???? I’m intrigued…..
Truffle salt is delicious! Truffles are wild mushrooms that cannot be cultivated. Back in the day they would be found by specially trained pigs (am serious) now there are pigs and dogs who are trained to find the truffles by smell. They are very expensive but a little goes a LONG way.
I don’t know if it’s money swagger, but I certainly have some kind of swagger from growing up in the Northeast/NYC!
I would have Swagger if I grew up in NYC-it’s awesome!!
Although my mom worked her butt off, she gave me life experiences that many kids don’t get. I also grew up in areas where most families had a good income and lifestyle. Living in NYC, I am in the minority I guess when I say I am not that impressed by it. I do like living in the borough of S.I. as it’s a much slower pace of life than Manhattan which is more my speed.
Kassandra I think we had very similar growing up experiences! I have to admit though that I really do love living in Colorado and I appreciate the quality of life that I currently have. But, I have this life because my mom worked like crazy in order for me to have the life that I currently live.
Hmmmmm……I think I might be the opposite lol. I grew up (and still live in) a very small (hillbilly) town. But I feel like I think so much differently than the majority of the population here which is why I love connecting with people online so much. I can find like minded people.
When my parents got divorced my mom moved into the low income apartments in town and being exposed to these different types of people than I had previously been made me broaden the way I think and have more compassion for other people.
That’s not to say that I never have tunnel vision. I think we all do that 🙂
My mom grew up in a small mid-western town and she has said something similar to what you’ve just said about thinking differently. I straddle these different realities and really try to be mindful about the fact that to be where I am came with a lot of hard work and sacrifice.
I don’t think I do, but when I was home in Detroit (lol) recently, at the hs homecoming game, I had several people who came up to me and discussed my “fabulous” life in Cali, with the beach, beach volleyball, etc. I never even thought my life was anywhere near fabulous in any way, but I guess there are some pretty nice perks to living here, even if that still means I’m struggling a bit financially. I have to keep that in mind when I practice gratitude!
I thought you would laugh at the Detroit part. Too me your life is pretty fabulous too! Beaches, fun events, etc. I think that it’s all relative.
Excellent points! I certainly have a certain type of swagger from growing up as an expat kid. It also made my transition into NYC really easy, because NYC doesn’t really feel all that overwhelming after Shanghai, China or Kobe/Osaka. Japan.
Expats have seen it all!! I used to live in Okinawa-but, I was really little so I remember it but it didn’t make a huge impression on me.
I don’t know that growing up in the midwest left me with much “money swagger” 🙂 With that said, there are certainly many advantages to living here, starting with cheap housing!
I’m heading to the Mid-West on Thursday to hang out with my Grandma! I love that Midwestern folks are the “salt of the earth.”
None at all 🙂
Like Alexa, I grew up in a smallish town in the poorer parts and was there until my teens. That was long enough to see that poor people like us ran the gamut of personalities and types, and I’ve always remembered that as we grew out of that area and level of poorness. Funnily enough: I was born and raised in Sunny California, near “glamorous” Los Angeles. I never saw it that way 🙂 It was just part of our landscape.
I do, however, know part of what you mean by never feeling belittled because of where I came from – pride of location was never really a thing in the company that we kept and that’s huge. We still experienced racism outside of our smallish town but, for the most part, it was in small doses. It made a difference that most people were in relatively similar economic circumstances – that was a great leveler.
I had to learn how to live in a fancy world once I was out in the professional world, though, and fine dining was a revelation 😉
My mom was a student so we didn’t have a lot of money. But, it’s amazing how being exposed to certain realities and living it by default has affected my worldview. To a certain degree I’m like you: where I grew up is where I grew up and it’s what I consider my “normal.” The thing is, as I travel and visit other places I realize how different my upbringing is. And strangely, I experienced very, very little racism while growing up. Fine dining is my drug!
What an insightful post, as usual. Truly we are all products of where we come from, both overtly and subconsciously. It’s that underlying experience of place that informs our behaviors and colors our perceptions and actions as related to places familiar and not. I found also that people tended to make assumptions based on my geographical origins as well (Midwestern so therefore must be rural/ naïve). I did the same about others, and I am sure I still do.
Great topic!
I just kept finding myself thinking things that I felt I shouldn’t think. These things were very much tied to “class” and my perception of class. I also had some subconscious and ideas about power that I didn’t realize that I had…until it was brought up in some surprising ways. I am heading to the Midwest tomorrow! So, I get what you mean.
Great post and you don’t have to be money rich to have a rich life! I grew up in Elizabeth, NJ a big urban city. When I moved to different places everyone will ask where I was from and say Elizabeth. If they are from Jersey, they’d go “really?” if they are not from Jersey they’ll go “that must be a really nice wealthy place.” How we grew up is partly who we are but what our parents did and exposed us to outside of the environment made me rich.
You make a great point about what you’re exposed to by your family. I should have added that my mom purposely looked for opportunities to enrich my learning and growth experience. If she hadn’t done that I wouldn’t have participated in so many activities.