Let’s be clear-I don’t live in a bomb shelter. I actually live in a 495 sqf ground level condo in a wonderful area of Denver. Why call it a bomb shelter? It wasn’t a sentiment that I shared. It was an opinion that a friend of mine shared with me after looking at the property with me. They said basically “It looks like a bomb shelter.” I’ll admit that I was a bit hurt at the time because buying a place was such a huge risk for me.
Then I realized something that most people don’t ever get a chance to learn as a life lesson. It doesn’t matter what other people think about the choices that you’re making…as long as you own them and they are right and healthy for you.
Living in the “bomb shelter” which actually has been christened the “Shire” (like the Hobbitshire) has been filled with the normal ups and downs. I’ve hosted friends from overseas who didn’t blink twice when they crossed the threshold. They just were happy to hang out with a friend. I’ve stayed warm when It was cold out, cool when it was hot, and all of the normal things that happen in life.
There are quirks: several of the walls are some type of cement? The kitchen and living room ceilings are a tad bit low so if you’re a giant you’ll feel a bit crowded when you visit me. I have to sweep my outdoor steps a lot because they lead down, and ants come in around August because they know when the weather is about to change. The earlier they arrive the colder the winter. This year I noticed that the ants arrived last week-not good.
So ?
There have been a couple of times in my life when I’ve been completely “dialed in” and focused on a goal. I recently spoke with Mrs. Frugalwoods (interviewed her for next Monday’s Podcast-August 10, 2015) and she spoke about being completely “dialed in” to her frugal process.
I realized that when I bought my home I knew it was the right decision I was completely dialed in to what I didn’t want in a home.
What I didn’t want:
- A mortgage that was too stressful to deal with. I would joke that I wanted to be able to work at Starbucks and be able to afford my place.
- I didn’t want a home that was far from public transit. I had a free transit pass for 10 years and I wanted to use public transit. I also just wanted to make my life easier by being able to hop on to light rail.
- I didn’t want a home in a bad neighborhood. I live in one of the best neighborhoods in Denver and I’m unapologetic about it. I love where I live.
- I didn’t want to live far from grocery stores. I live near 5 different grocery stores. And, I live near 3 Farmer’s Markets.
What I Was Willing To Sacrifice To Get What I Wanted:
- How other people perceived my home. I just for some reason was 100% comfortable with living in what people would consider an “awkward” space.
- Size-My place is smaller than what most people are living in. I just couldn’t see why I would live in a big space when I was just one person. You have to pay for each square foot. Why pay for square footage that I wasn’t going to use to prove something to people that I don’t know. If someone visits my place and doesn’t like it-not my issue.
- New Household Fixtures-There aren’t a lot of super new fixtures in my place. I have been slowly replacing everything throughout the years. I need to replace my windows, remove my dishwasher (hate it) not good for the plumbing in this place anyway.
I’ve had other moments and goals in my life where I was completely “dialed into” the process. The year that I decided to go to Europe for the first time and I worked 70-80 hour weeks for almost a year. I had the best time ever. Or, when I went to college and worked at least 30-40 hours a week, studied, was a cheerleader, and a sorority girl. I wanted the full experience. Or, the year when I traveled with Up With People and had to leave for a short-time to make more money and returned to travel with my cast.
How My Bomb Shelter Story Helps You:
There will be points in your life when you need to be 100% convinced-or “Dialed In” as Mrs. Frugalwoods would say-to the choices and goals that you will be making throughout your life. If you’re wanting to: pay off debt in 2 years and no one understands your process, you want to lose weight and no one believes you can, you want to work for yourself and no one else gets it, or you wan to live overseas for a month, 3 months, or a 1 year. You have to be focused in way that other people would call “obsessed.” If people are saying this you’re probably focused on your goal in the right was as long as: you’re eating, socializing normally, and have some semblance of balance in you’re life then you should be good. Ask yourself the following question: “How serious am I about my goals for myself?” “What am I willing to do to get to accomplish my goal.” “How do I eliminate the road blocks (doubt, other people’s opinions, and lack of focus) that keep me from achieving my goals?”
Do you have a bomb shelter story?
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This reminds me a bit of Stefanie’s recent post. She mentioned how discipline breeds discipline – she trained for a marathon while starting her business. Both went well. She was laser-focused on each task at hand.
I think when we are able to break free of what others think, we’ve created a world of discipline. You are focused only on what YOU need and what YOU want. That tends to lead to other discipline – and success!
I think I missed that one! I need to read through her most recent posts. She’s right though-I think that taping into the ability to be disciplined and focused about the things you want in life is probably the number character trait that separates those who “do” vs. those who “don’t.” Or, imagination.
I didn’t know you lived in Denver. I’m coming your way in a few weeks! =)
I hear ya on choosing housing that isn’t ideal. Long-term goals definitely matter a lot more than what other people think! Most of our friends have nicer houses than we do, but I have a tiny payment and a payoff date that is coming up!
We should meet up for coffee (or happy hour!) My mortgage is now the equivalent of someone’s really bad credit card debt. It’s honestly quite astonishing to me. I am truly considering setting an audacious goal to kill my mortgage and credit card debt by December 2016. If I had listened to other people I would have a bigger mortgage, I would still be working my old job, and I would be at least 10 years from paying off a bigger mortgage I also wouldn’t have been able to work for myself.
Yes, let me know if you want to meet up! Our dates are Aug 22-24th. We’re staying at the Westin downtown.
We’ll make it happen! I might have a few side hustles-will email you on FB re:times.
I guess my bomb shelter is having to say no a lot to friends inviting me to things. I’m not sure they completely understand, and sometimes it hurts to then see their picture having fun without me on FB, but I have to stay to committed to MY goals, not theirs, and if they don’t understand it, so bit it.
You have to do what’s right for you!! I’m wondering if your friends just aren’t clear on how freelancing cash flow works? I am super lucky because my friends are really open to keeping it frugal. We DO go to happy hours from time to time but there are a ton of free entertainment options in Denver (similar to the fun stuff in L.A.) so there’s really no reason to spend a lot. The tricky time is ski season if I don’t have a pass. This year I’m planning to purchase one so I’m working on that now.
We’re a small space family as well. In Chicago, a 1bdr is typically 800-1000 sq. feet depending on the area, but we prefer to pay less rent or live in a better area by downsizing to 400-600 sq. feet.
When we live small, we tend to travel more, get out of the house, explore our neighborhood, and spend quality family time together. It’s a great trade off… especially when you add up the rent savings!
I would rather pay less and travel more. I think I will do a follow up post with the actual amount in rent savings, appreciation, and repairs that I’ve done (or will be doing) in the future.
Maybe that comment from your friend hurted you, but hei is your house and also if sometime have a home means a lot of money to spend for renovation, repairs & co, it is always a place where you felt and still feel AT HOME!!!
You’re right, in retrospect I think that the Universe sends you moments to “test” your decision. I love my little place and one day when I move I will miss it. But, it is 150% in this moment now-the home of my dreams 🙂
There are definitely things that are tough to explain when you’re dialed in on your financial goals. For example, we have the money to pay for someone to fix our bathrooms, but we would definitely lose money on the sale of the house. We would rather live with crappy bathrooms and fix what we can in time, and later on, if we really value our bathrooms, we can rent a house with a suit master bath.
I, too, have a less than fabulous bathroom. Which I should get worked on..but, it’s not bothering me right now and when it truly does I’ll do something about it. LOL! Until then I’ll focus on what I feel is important. And honestly, until someone else is paying my mortgage who cares what they think!
I think we have a lot of bomb shelters in our life. I think the one that we get strange looks for the most is not having cable TV. It’s not a priority for us, so it doesn’t make sense to pay for it. But when people expect us to have knowledge of certain TV shows, they look at us like we are crazy because we are unwilling to pay $99-$250/month for something we don’t value at all.
I haven’t had cable is so long it’s ridiculous! There are so many ways to watch shows for free. I did decide to pay for Hulu + but that was $7 dollars a month. And-I use it. Typically though I just check out dvds from the library and watch them for free. I might be behind but who cares. Also, don’t we have other things to do besides watch t.v.? If it’s nice out then I’m: riding my bike, hanging with friends, hiking, or reading.
Is your place an earth-sheltered home/condo? Because if so we need to talk. That’s my dream pretty much.
And I totally agree….I think we should be tactful in what we say to others, but when we hear something that attempts to deflate our happiness, we just need to remember that it’s OUR happiness and not anyone else’s.
It is a garden-level condo. I guess that would be the same as earth-sheltered? I love my little home. Every time I walk into the door I smile and say thank you!! You’re right, it’s important to focus on what will keep us happy.
Ah, I was thinking like this: https://www.google.com/search?q=earth+sheltered+homes&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=0CB4QsARqFQoTCKi07viFoMcCFYN0PgodYJ0MxA&biw=1366&bih=623 I’ve even seen places that were literally bomb shelters before be renovated into houses. (It seems like it’s always older hippies doing it. Kind of awesome.)
But a garden-level condo sounds awesome, too. A lot cooler in these summer months, I’m guessing!
Those are so cool! Like in the olden days. And, yes, hippies love those! Usually it’s super cool and comfortable. This is the first year where it has been warm. It is a lot more humid this year in Colorado than what we’re used to. Can’t wait for Fall!!!
As long as it suits your needs, Michelle, everything is fine. You just have to maintain it and be satisfied with your place until you can afford a better place to live in.
I am perfectly happy here. I am really into minimalism so even if I could buy a bigger place I don’t think I would. We shall see.
The Shire! 🙂 I love me some Lord of the Rings. My husband, cat and I live in a 650 sq ft apartment so I get where you’re coming from. (And I was a cheerleader too we must be twins LOL).
We all have to make compromises to fund things we’re passionate about and “dialed in” is a great way to look at it. When we first moved here we were okay with a small space because it’s right in the middle of town. But now that our goals have changed it may be time to give up the walkable location for more space.
I love Lord of the Rings too LOL! Twinies!! I just am not interested in paying tons for a place. Now, when I am living with someone else some compromises will have to be made especially because my place isn’t the best for super tall people. I will always want to live in a smaller space so that I can invest more and travel that’s pretty much a given. Hopefully my guy will be open to that.