You may have noticed that I spend a lot of time writing about how I think about things or what I have observed. For me, debt repayment is a mental game that I am constantly in the process of trying to win. There are those of you who probably wonder when is Michelle going to post numbers, hard facts, details about her debt repayment, her progress in general? Well, I’ve been spending the past 6 months working on what’s in my head.
I now understand why people quit when they are in the process of: debt repayment, losing weight, quitting smoking, etc.
For the past 6 months I have worked hard at breaking bad habits, learning new good habits, and believing that I can do anything that I put my mind to. There have been moments when I feel a sense of euphoria about what I’ve done so far, an enthusiasm about all the goals I’ve set for myself and all of the goals I’ve begun to attain. Then, there are the moments when I am so freaking overwhelmed by the endless quantifying of all of my habits, thinking of how everything connects in some kind of financial way that I just want to quit.
The other week I wrote a post for L Bee and the Money Tree on “Plateaus.” In this post I talk about having to dig deeper to push through whatever plateau that you’re in. A plateau is a dangerous place to be in because it’s one of the moments when you really want to quit.
I have through painful trial and error identified the different steps to succeeding at the goals that you have set for yourself.
The Steps…
The Beginnning
- You begin feeling sick of your situation-whatever it is (weight/money/love/work/kids/etc)
- An idea of where you would like to end up becomes a tantalizing image in your mind
- You start forming a plan of attack
- The plan of attack seems really easy…until you begin and it takes a heck of a lot longer to gain momentum than you ever would have expected
- Boredom and frustration sets in. You begin to question is this goal realistic?
The Middle
- Ok, you quit for a little bit.
- Your friends start asking you how things are going with your goal. Hey, I have people who believe in me?! Wow.
- You feel a little embarrassed because you quit
- The universe sends you a sign. I’m not making this up. It happened to me this week with a couple of the goals that I’ve set for myself. These signs made me realize that what I am aiming for is possible
The End
- You start again and fully commit**I am currently in this stage
- Embrace the journey-everyone’s path is different
- You begin to the light at the end of the tunnel
- You cross the finish line
- It doesn’t seem real-but it is. You made it.
My personal example and what I’ve been up to:
I have spent months working on:
Money and Debt
- Not using credit cards
- Lowering and eliminating library fines
- Trying to earn more money (writing for others, doing surveys, etc)
- Not buying as much coffee and making coffee at home. Sorry Starbucks!
- Using cash for the majority of my discretionary purchases
- Bringing lunch
- Not going out to dinner as much-rocking the groupons/living social deals
- I stopped shopping for clothing and anything that adorns the body for a year. I started on April 1, 2013-no joke. I didn’t even shop when I went to London.
- Growing my own food-I have a garden
- Picking up change
- Tracking my expenses
- Using cash for my trip to London-no debt
- Using my sh$t-basically using up all of the product that I’ve purchased and stockpiled like a crazed hoarder
- Using my pantry items and eating what’s in my home
- Grocery shopping only every two weeks
- Having a meal plan
- Unplugging electronics that aren’t in use: Lamps, etc.
- I stopped going to my hair stylist
- I’ve only had one mani this year. I only did that because I was in a wedding.
- I take the bus for free (my job pays for my pass)
- I check out my movies for free from the Library
- I requested my per diem for my work trip
And it STILL took 6 months to feel like I could tackle my debt. Unfortunately, for me debt repayment isn’t just about the dollars, it’s about the belief that you can pay it off. It’s about what is in your head.
SO, if you are reading this and feeling frustrated because you’ve done so many things to start your debt repayment plan and nothing has really happened-I get it, I understand, and so do a lot of other people who are in your shoes. It’s ok to be frustrated. It’s a frustrating process.
Don’t quit. DON’T quit. Don’t QUIT!!! You can do it. YOU can DO it! You CAN DO IT!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!
Now, go have a glass of wine or a beer and mellow out. It’s going to be a rough ride, you can handle it. Let’s do this thing. See you on the other side.
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For some reason bloglovin had decided that you are no longer on my feed. GRRRR! Sorry if I’ve missed any posts. I think it’s SO common to go through those plateaus in life. BTW I LOVE your list in all the ways you are tackling your debt. You are giving it all you got. Hang in there!
You know what’s so weird about bloglovin. I had looked into it earlier today for the FIRST TIME! I think there is a problem because I couldn’t pull up the blog. Thanks for the positive energy. I am trying hard, thank goodness it’s summer it’s easy to sacrifice during the summer because of all of the free stuff I can do.
Yes, I had troubles adding you to my bloglovin list – it says it can’t find you. I just get your posts by email for the moment
I am going to call Bloglovin. The weird thing is-I only just looked into this on Friday…right BEFORE Tonya mentioned the problems she was having. I didn’t even have Bloglovin on my radar as something to use. Learn something new every day!
Oh I can totally relate to this, I’m going through these stages right now. Not so much with my debt repayment, I’m still pretty focused on eliminating it but weight loss is such a roller coaster. I’m focused then get offtrack and restart. It’s infuriating.
The weight loss has been a pain. Literally. I had to wrap my head around the fact that I would have to increase the amount that I have been exercising. Sigh. I think as my money gets more organized it will be easier for me to exercise…and not use my money stuff as an excuse to keep from staying focused on weight loss.
Michelle, I feel like this is my life story – it takes a lot of energy to stay on course with goals! I feel like I’m still wrapping my head around my finances still and I really need to get more consistent about taking care of my health. Good for you for sticking with it!
It does get frustrating because I am trying so hard and when you look at the list it’s obvious that I mean business! The longer I work on it the better things have gotten and now things are starting to balance out.
Sometimes quitting is just the easy way out and sometimes you are almost a few days or weeks away from it being use to the fact that you no longer need to do the things you use to. Old habit die hard but they do die. I looks like you have so many things on your list that you are changing at once. That also makes it harder. Its like weight loss and trying to quit smoking. I don’t know if that would be a way for a person to go.
That list is serious! It actually developed over time and to me are a series of small adjustments. At this point they are pretty much second nature and I think that’s why I am able to look back and see why it’s so easy to get frustrated (or overwhelmed) and quit. I’ve looked at other pf bloggers lists of things that they’re doing to stop hitting the credit card or to build good habits and I think what I’m doing is pretty similar. Because of these habits I’ve now stopped having more month than money-which is a huge problem for a lot of people. I am working on weight as well. We’ll see how that goes!
I LOVE your lists. I need to start using all of the lotions, body washes and perfumes that I am hoarding too. I also need to eat my food. I don’t think I could grocery shop every 2 weeks, but you have a garden so that’s pretty nice. Keep up the good work! I need to post my list on my blog!
When I think about all of the product that I had in my house I can’t believe that I would continue going shopping for more. It doesn’t make sense. I did have a little slip up a week ago, but if you saw how much product I’ve used since I stopped buying product, clothes, etc. You would be amazed. I also went to London-all cash! I’m thinking staying out of the stores helped! Now that I grocery shop every two weeks I’m saving a ton of money and I think I stopped gaining weight-am eating a lot less. My pantry is pretty organized so I just try to stay organized and use a meal plan. If I run out of veggies/fruit I go to the Farmer’s Market. Sadly, most of my garden veggies won’t be ready to harvest until August. I cook most of my food and bring my lunch to work everyday.