I have a friend who is in the process of becoming a very well-known comedian. He is pretty freaking funny. As his gigs become more and more high profile he’s becoming well-known. Earlier this year (after he wrapped up shooting a movie) I wrote him and said the following: “John (not his name) when people say it feels like your fame happened overnight, I’ll be the friend who remembers the past 12 years of hard work that you’ve done.” That’s right-my friend has been working on his craft, working in the professional field that we were employed in at the time, and side-hustling like a boss for the past 12 years. The takeaway from his situation is this:
Start Now, Your Goals and Dreams Will Take Time
We are inundated with the concept of instant meals, instant information, and instant fame a la reality t.v. so it’s hardly surprising that we are impatient with the idea that what we want for ourselves we will have to practice at, focus on, and do over and over again until we reach whatever goal we’re trying to reach.
Now, if you’ve browsed through my blog you noticed a recent post talking about purposeful procrastination. I delayed launching my podcast because I wanted to continue working on it. I felt that there were a few more things that I could do to make sure it’s of value to my future listeners. The thing is-I’ve actually started the work. I’m not talking about it, I’ve actually begun. This situation hits on an important truism-you will hit roadblocks, have delays, and need to make adjustments as you work towards what you want for yourself.
What If You Hadn’t Started?
Then, when you DO begin you’ll be finished with your goals later than you may want. Your dreams will take time. Need proof of that? Here are some examples:
- Beyonce-She is now in her early 30s and has worked in the field of entertainment since she was a pre-teen. She has been working in entertainment for at least 20 years.
- Taylor Swift-mid 20s has been working in the field of entertainment for since her teenage years (around 10 years).
- Peyton Manning-Almost 40, has been playing football for more than 20 years.
- Bill and Hillary Clinton-Both are in their 60s and have spent their entire adult lives in politics
- Oprah Winfrey-In her early 60s has been working in media since she was a teenager.
Do you have examples outside of entertainment and politics that I could add to my list? The point is, to become a master at whatever it is you’re trying to do (including rock a hard to attain goal) it takes time. Here are some tips on how to get started.
The Three D’s
- Done-There is a point in many people’s lives when they are just done with at situation. Some people would also refer to this as “the Breaking Point.” When you just can’t take whatever you’re dealing with anymore. It could be a job, your weight, a bad relationship, or how you feel about yourself. When you’re done-you’re done. When you’ve decided that you’re done, then you begin searching for ways to move beyond the pain point that you’re currently existing in.
- Decide-Once you’re done, you have to decide what you want. If you want to lose weight you have to decide what exercise program you’ll begin, the days of the week you exercise, if you sign up to do a race, or work out from home. Deciding can be tricky because once you decide you become aware of all of the options open to you to meet your goals. You risk overthinking what you need to and might delay starting because we’re overwhelmed. Has anyone gotten stuck at this point?
- Do-Once you’re Done and you’ve Decided, it’s now time to “Do.” You have to start. By starting you commit to the most important person in you’re world-YOU! Whatever action plan you decide to pursue is the best action plan for the following reason-if it works great, if it doesn’t that’s ok…you can always change your process. I think people feel like that have to stick to whatever course of action that they initially start out with. I think people should remember that the beauty of this process is the ability to make adjustments along the way.
I began blogging about money in 2012 and it has become obvious that I have at least another 3 years to go. I could feel badly about that or feel pretty stoked about all of the progress that I’ve made so far, and who knows, it’s possible that my journey might finish sooner than I think. We shall see.
For inspiration and comparison’s sake:
- Toni from the Debt Free Divas-7 year journey
- Travis from Enemy of Debt-4 year journey
If you’re feeling stuck then I hope that you’ve been inspired and are ready to get started. Here is some additional information that might help you move forward on your goals and dreams.
Some Additional Resources:
- Start–By Jon Acuff is one of the books that really began my journey to profoundly change my life. I also love Quitter and will be reading Do Over soon.
- Take Time For Your Life–By Cheryl Richardson is the book that I credit with showing me how to create the space in my life to make profound change. I love this book.
- Your Money or Your Life–By Vicki Robin. I hate to say this that I prefer to distill this book to the following main point-are the activities that you’re expending life energy on worth it to you? I spent a lot of time thinking about that question.
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It’s definitely tempting to want everything immediately, but you’re right that most real success comes from plugging away for years. Even people who do make it immediately will crash and burn if they don’t keep pushing themselves for years to come.
You made the point that I was thinking about which is-you can flame out very quickly when success is received easily.
I really want to read Do Over after I’m finished with my current book. I think many people get stuck in the “decide” mode. They decide in their heads, but don’t take action. They have all these ideas swirling around but never do. Can’t wait to hear your podcast!
I really love Jon Acuff’s books and would love to ask him one day why he stopped working with Dave Ramsey. I was really surprised by that and really fascinated by that decision. I definitely got super stuck in the “decide” part of my journey. But, once I committed to a course of action-I committed. I can’t wait to hear it too LOL!
I like how you said “I think people feel like that have to stick to whatever course of action that they initially start out with.” You are so right . Let’s say you announce you are going to try a particular diet to lose weight and it just doesnt’ agree with you. You are hangry all the time. Well, then you don’t stick with it just to stick with it because you said you would. You don’t give up because that course was not a good fit. You try something else. It’s OK to make course corrections with any goal. You have to find what works for you and be patient with the process.
I think we all overthink the process (myself included!) I think we feel like we have to commit to whatever course of action we set out with. In reality, if we’re smart we’re always embracing constant adjustments to our process. Now that I’ve embraced that part of the process-I feel pretty good!
Wow Michelle this is some really good stuff. I really believe you can be a good motivational speaker. I’ll be sure of it as soon as you launch that podcast…Lol. I have brand new dreams in my second act and I’m willing to put in the work to make them come true. Loved this!!
Thanks Petrish for the kind words! I DO like to talk a lot LOL. Can’t wait to read about your second act!!
It’s funny because some goals seem like they weren’t any work at all (like grad school) while others are pure torture (like dieting) that will never end.
Why is diet such a pain??!
“Start now” is one of my favorite lessons from my own financial recovery. You don’t have to solve every problem at once, you just have to start and then see what happens. I also totally agree with you that people tend to seriously underestimate the time it takes to become good enough at something that other people notice. Hours and hours (years) of blood, sweat, tears, or, in the case of politicians, boring stops in diners and committee meetings.
I think that sometimes people will get upset with themselves for not starting earlier. But, maybe you start at the right time that YOU need to start and actually be able to sustain momentum.
I can definitely relate to those three D’s. I should add those to the “D” in my motivation alphabet post. I think what can be harder for some, including myself, is trying to figure out what your goal should be in the first place. It would have been amazing to know what I wanted to do for the rest of my life in my teens and 20s, but it doesn’t always happen that way. However, once you find that goal or path, you somehow find a crazy amount of energy to work toward it. You just keep going and you don’t stop until you reach it.
When I was 20 I didn’t have a lot of “done” moments. It seems like the older I get the more I have them LOL! Now I have a lot more perseverance and am stay focused on goals long enough to achieve. It takes a lot more for me to get discouraged.
You’re 100% right. Things do take time. I’m definitely not where I thought I would be after I graduated from college. I’m not mad or sad. I’ve come to appreciate the journey.
I think there is a point where either you get mad or just dig in and keep moving forward.
I love the whole point of this post! My friend recently told me that he thinks blog success is overnight and I wanted to laugh in his face. Sure, a post can go viral. But for the most part, it takes months/years to get a blog really “successful”. This definitely applies for everything else – goals take hard work and time so you can be ready for “overnight” moments.
I think I can count a very small number of people who made it big as bloggers in the first year. The rest who have become really well known have been blogging for YEARS. Day in and day out without pay. Just doing it because they love it.