I had seen her before, on a Thursday morning as I waited to board the free mall shuttle in Downtown Denver. She was walking slowly and speaking to herself, a mix of Spanish and English. She was wearing a camel colored winter coat that was in fairly good condition and slightly worn leather shoes that you have to slip your feet into. She wasn’t wearing socks. Another woman who was waiting with me looked almost in tears because the homeless woman was obviously distressed and alone. The other woman (we’ll call her Lily) crossed the street and helped the homeless woman cross the road. Lily’s compassion moved me.
Fast forward to the following Sunday. It’s the biggest snow day in Denver-February 28th and I’m on my way to meet up with group of people that I will be racing with in the Fight for Air Stairclimb. I had paid $65 as a minimum amount towards the cause and also paid $17.50 with a half off groupon ($35 was the normal participation fee). The snow is swirling around me and covering the building in blinding white. I felt like making snow angels. As I entered Starbucks and found the group I noticed in the corner the same homeless woman who I will now call Maggie sitting at a table muttering to herself in a mix of Spanish and English. As I put my coat down and prepared to purchase a drink Maggie spotted me and began walking towards me. She then said the following, “Buy me some food.” I blinked and said “It would be my pleasure.” We then proceeded to order her food (she didn’t want a drink) and I ordered my drink and we went our separate ways.
There was no way that I was going to say “no” to her request. Why? You’re probably thinking that she’s a stranger and her problems aren’t mine. She’s probably asking everyone for food, etc. And you’re probably right. She’s trying to survive and has to depend on her street skills in order to survive. The reason I couldn’t say “no” is the following: I had the money. We were in a safe place, and I was already buying something for myself. The $6.50 that I spent on her food wasn’t going to break my bank. She was someone’s child, possibly a mother, wife, cousin. And, now she had lost her way. I believe how we treat the weakest amongst us says a lot about the society that we’re in. I always wonder when I see people what their story is. In the case of Maggie obviously I don’t know what happened to her, I don’t know where or who her family is. I just knew in that moment that she was a human being in need, broken by life and who was I to sh$t on her when she is down? As I sat with my teammates I wondered what they thought about the whole thing. But, then we began talking about the stairclimb (53 flights) , future plans, and brunch. And the incident faded into the background.
I often see people looking through the homeless and pretending like they aren’t there. Homelessness is scary because you wonder, “Could this happen to me?” deep down in the dark recesses of your brain there is that fear. How did this happen to this person? If people great me on the street I always say “hi” and keep going. I never want to make someone feel invisible.
In the spirit of this post I encourage everyone to donate to a charity that fights homelessness in your area.
What would you have done in this situation? Have you been in this position before? What do you think about my reaction?
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Budget & the Beach says
I really don’t know what I would have done in that situation. I probably would have bought something too, but I do think people get cynical about giving homeless people food in that some way they really want money and will just toss the food to the side. In fact I gave someone a sandwich once and they threw it out when I crossed the street. I do, however, feel really good about helping organizations that do help homeless people. I feel it’s more tangible or something. Make sense?
Michelle says
Totally makes sense. I have tried to give food before and it wasn’t received well. I think that the person on the receiving end felt like I was looking down on them and it hurt their pride. If I were in their situation I think I would have felt the same way. Now, when I do give I typically have a deep emotional feeling like I have to help this person. It’s really weird. Once I walked by a guy who asked for money initially I said sorry “no”. But, for some reason I decided to go back and give him $5 or $10 dollars more than I’d ever given someone on the street. He started to cry. It makes me want to cry as I type this. He was someone’s son. What if it had been me? I just trust my gut and do what feels right.