I am basically an extrovert. I really enjoy meeting new people, being social, and even talking to random strangers who aren’t creepy. One of the reasons that I decided to quit my job was that I had stopped meeting new people.
This was a huge problem for several reasons:
- Dating 🙂 You’ve got to meet people in order to date! I haven’t dated in awhile because I wasn’t meeting new people. Most people date via their circle of friends or organizations that they belong to. Online dating is huge too, but I absolutely HATE it and have an easier time meeting people naturally.
- I was unable to Form new friendships-I have a wonderful group of friends in Colorado but our situations have changed and that changes the way our friendships play out. The crazy friend is more settled down, the settled down friend has become the crazy friend, you get the picture-things change. It was hard for me to make new friends because I wasn’t meeting new people.
- I couldn’t make new business contacts-I was able to meet people throughout the year at my regional and national conferences but the field I’min is also organized into regions. Because of this I kept meeting the same people at conferences as the people who tend to work in the field that I was in tend to work in their positions for a long time.
So, why I am I talking about all of these ways to meet people? They are all forms of networking.
Networking fills some people with dread because they might be shy, or feel unsure about themselves, or they are extroverts but networking can feel forced. And then there is the truth about networking that everyone must acknowledge is in the back of their mind:
The Possibility of Being Rejected
The truth about networking is that you will be rejected during the process of meeting new people. This is a hard truth. In the process of putting yourself out there, you are risking being rejected. I understand that in the process of putting myself “out there” for business opportunities, dating, and friendships-I will experience rejection. And that’s a bitter pill to swallow because I think I’m fabulous. The thing is-I’m not fabulous for everyone. And that’s ok.
But, you still have to work on meeting new people because as your circle shrinks, so do your opportunities. Have you ever gone to a big conference and wonder why certain people are even there? Why do they need to continue mingling with “us?”
There Is No Success Without Other People
I was once asked wether or not it was worthwhile going to a conference vs. doing the virtual conference offering. I said that both were excellent options but that more opportunities would be created from the actual meeting of people.
Even though I wasn’t at my best for the past couple of years, I’ve had a number of opportunities come to me because of the people I knew. I tried to connect with people in a genuine way with no intention other than to forge meaningful and deep connections with like-minded people.
There is no way that I would be able to move forward in my career, grow intellectually, and change my circumstances without meeting new people and learning from them.
How To Network Successfully
- Be yourself-People will figure out if you’re trying to be something you’re not. So, just be yourself.
- Have fun-Don’t stress yourself out about the prospect of meeting people. They are everywhere. Exercise common sense and speak to the people that you come into contact with in a genuine way. It is not unusual for me to really get to know my: Baristas, bank tellers, cashiers at the local grocery store, and my librarian. Yes, I know them all and by name. As long as a natural situation presents itself to you to engage with people in a genuine way-do it. And, if someone is turned off by it, who cares. They are missing out on knowing a fabulous new person-YOU!
- Go to Meetups-I have a rule about Meetup Groups, I will go at least 3 times before I make a decision about the group. Sometimes you get a dud event or just people who aren’t a good fit. Give the group at least 3 tries because the group changes each time there is an event.
- Go to local events: We’re about to go into Spring and Summer-prime meeting people time. There are events happening in most towns. If these events are free-GO. You should hopefully have a good time and maybe you will meet people.
- Do what you enjoy-I love exploring my town, going to coffee, riding my bike, and a number of other things. I plan on doing those things with gusto from now on. People are drawn to people who seem to be enjoying themselves. I know that I am.
- Look your best-I don’t understand why so many people look like they rolled out of bed and went to work/run errands/etc. . Iron your clothes, bath, etc. Grooming is good for YOU and for the rest of us. Also, it helps with your self-esteem.
- Give without expecting anything in return-I really like this one because I want to help and support the people that I know in whatever endeavors they are pursuing.
- Be consistent-Don’t say you’re going to do something and then don’t do it (all of the time). I know that things can come up, but if you are consistently flaky with people that is what they will remember about you.
- Carry Your Business Cards-I have been asked for my business cards more often than I ever expected. Keep cards on you at all times.
- You have to nurture the friendships and connections that you make.
As I move into my new life I am both excited and slightly terrified of the networking process. My goal is to meet 5 really awesome people a month and I’ve also made a non-negotiable rule that I must do something social once a week.
I will keep you posted on how things go!
How Do You Feel About Networking?
Is It Exciting/Scary/ or A Necessary Evil?
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I definitely used to be nervous about networking, but before I got this new job, as I was getting fed up with the old job, I knew I had to network to open my opportunities. I’ve recently started going to the local chapter of the American Marketing Association’s luncheons and happy hours. These have been a great way to get started because the point of going is networking! People know that’s why they’re there and that’s why you’re there so it’s not awkward at all to ask people about what they do and talk about what you do and trade business cards. It’s actually turned out to be not only fun, but very interesting! I was dreading getting started so much, but now I look forward to it!
I think the key is to find a situation that is comfortable and feels safe. I think that people should also remember that they aren’t the only ones who are nervous about meeting someone new. Or, you could just imagine people in their underwear-but I find that awkward.
I like the goal to meet new people and to do something social once per week. Especially for an extrovert, even for an introvert like me, I’ve found that talking to people is the only way to stay positive and upbeat about life.
For years I said that I was kind of a loner and didn’t need a ton of friends to be happy. And maybe that’s true, but I do need human interaction as much as I need anything.
The more people that I meet the less I feel like I’m living in a cave. We all need people and humans are social creatures. I feel like the people who are most successful are the ones with a healthy network.
I’d say networking is a necessary evil but one I’m not fond of. I rate *really* high on the introvert scale so I find socialising very taxing although, I do like meeting new people just not in large groups, so that makes networking a real challenge. Pushing through that resistance doesn’t get any easier as you get older… You’re lucky you enjoy it! 🙂
I do enjoy meeting new people but when I was feeling really depressed it was a struggle to find enjoyment in the process. I was just too tired to manage it.
I hate networking, honestly. When someone invites me for dinner or a cup of coffee, then I will be informed about networking. It really irritates me. I should have been informed beforehand. But, I respect those people who do networking the right and ethical way.
I think what you’re describing is being railroaded. I prefer situations where it’s obviously an opportunity for networking-not an ambush.