It has been longer than I would like to admit since I’ve been abroad. I focused on paying off debt, got distracted by the everyday moments in life and was content with enjoying memories of past travels. Then, COVID hit and I found myself reflecting on the following questions: what I wished I had done differently, dreaming about all of the places I wanted to see and thinking about where I would go next. That’s part of why I spoke with Jen Ruiz from Jen on a Jet Plane in the last episode. I’ll include a link in the show notes.
But, I also found myself wanting to live abroad again. I missed the experience of being outside of my comfort zone, speaking a different language and experience something new while living somewhere different. Also, I hate to say it but my dating life is much better outside of the United States. Living abroad has been on my mind a lot recently. So, I thought it would be fun to hear how today’s guest designed a better life overseas. There are some important things that I do want to point out before we get into today’s conversation with Bianca Hughes. She is from the United Kingdom and moved to the ATL-Atlanta to the rest of us. She made a significant career change during her time here. I love that I’m having this conversation about making a deliberate and intentional move overseas with a Black woman because we often don’t get to hear this perspective. Let me know what you think after you listen to the episode.
Welcome to Michelle is Money Hungry, I’m your host Michelle Jackson and I focus on holding financial conversations that lean into social equity, policy and access with a splash of pop culture. My goal is to lead these conversations with empathy and help both my listeners and myself learn more about money along the way.
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Show Notes:
Bianca-I am from London, born and raised, to Caribbean parents. I do live in Atlanta. I am a therapist and I specialize in perfectionism. I have my practice “Authentically Be You Counseling and Wellness” there’s also a podcast and some speaking engagements and I have a new book “It’s Ok to Be Imperfect”
Michelle-I am very intrigued by your work with perfectionism and women. What are some of the things that you notice in your practice that your clients might be doing and influences their money?
Bianca-When I’m speaking I’m also going to speak from my own experience. The first, unrealistic expectations when it comes to money. Another thing is when you might be doing well with your money but you might be beating yourself up with where you are.
Michelle-How did you get into this type of therapy?
Bianca-I really wanted to do some work with men. I’d done a lot of work in the ministry. I’d worked with women in sex trafficking and it was heavy. God had a different idea.
Michelle-As you work with your clients are you attracting primarily US based clientele? London based or both? What are the differences that you’re seeing?
Bianca-I’m based in Atlanta, I’m licensed here and online for Florida. I do have clients who might be first gen. Like myself. Or, some clients born in other countries. The difference is that I have to work harder sometimes if I’m working with a US client because I wasn’t born here. I have to sometimes work harder understanding why things are the way they are. Learning about Redlining, it’s different (from home) When I have clients who are immigrants or first gen it’s easier because we have a similar experience.
Michelle-I’ve lived abroad as an adult. I do have some insight into the nuances that impact the place that you’re at and being a part of the Diaspora. There are some things that are universal but some aren’t. Why did you move here and how did it happen? What was the feedback like?
Bianca-I came with a job, I had an inter-company transfer with an L-1 visa. I had always wanted to come to America and wanted a different experience of living in another country. I hadn’t intended to stay. My focus was the experience. I had a lot of support. My family were immigrants and lived everywhere. I have family in the United States.
Michelle-I had a flashback to my old job when you talked about your visa. How did saying “yes” to this opportunity impact your money. I ask this because there is a movement across the world, in particular people of color, referencing departing their home country. I do think that there’s not enough conversation around the financial piece of making these moves. Could you share some of the things that you did to cover your ass.
Bianca-I was in a different position. Things are different in London. I was 26 and still living at home. Because it’s expensive. I did have money saved. I did have a really nice mini Cooper (it was so sexy) I wasn’t really using the car and so I sold the car. I was going to buy a house or move to America. I had a few thousand no more than ten thousand. I was focused on doing one of two things and I was being more purposeful. I was being intentional in that way. I did have a job but I still had to buy a car, rent a place. I focused on be prepared but don’t overthink it.
Michelle-Are you happy with how your approached things?
Bianca-I would have gotten a smaller apartment and I would have had a therapist. They may speak English, but it’s not the same.
Michelle-For listeners looking to move abroad what advice would you share from your experience? We’re talking about making these decisions and how they impact our money. But, how do they impact other aspects of life? What should people consider before taking that leap to a new country.
Bianca-Find out what it takes to live in another country. How can you make money in the country? Are you allowed to work in the country (even online) Dealing with immigration is stressful and it’s not easy. I was lucky that a good part of this was done by the company that I worked for. I would definitely visit where you’re looking to move to. Get be quiet about your decision and have your support system. I’m going to try this out, it might work and it might not
Michelle-What has been the difference between visiting vs. living here?
Bianca-(She laughed) Coming to America is like when you date someone. When you meet them they’re really attractive and enjoy spending all this time with them. Then you live there and you learn about the everyday stuff you don’t know about when visiting. It’s the little things….
Michelle-I find that to be so funny. One of the things that I find intriguing to think about is the perception of the country is different from the reality.
Bianca-The thing that I notice the most is when there are fewer black people. But, I live in Atlanta.
Michelle-The states are different and that’s why there is so much friction. You made this huge change and took this huge risk. Things changed and you went into entrepreneurship, how did it help you achieve “creating more” especially in a foreign country.
Bianca-I worked in the travel industry and did it for 10 years. Then, I became a therapist. I attended graduate school in the United States. I remember saying to myself-I don’t enjoy working from a desk 9-5. I wanted to see clients 3 days a week and do other stuff. I worked in a mental health hospital and grew my practice. I listened to a podcast that talked about how I was in business. My mindset could change. Getting serious about separating my bank account, marketing and thinking about my niche (who I wanted to help) When you get into entrepreneurship therapy is important.
Michelle-What did you want your life to look like and how did going into this field of work help you do that?
Bianca-I wanted to work 3 days a week. Wanting to travel and still have money. I didn’t want to have several jobs, I just wanted to do this. I made sure that I protected my time.
Michelle-One of the things that I’m curious about is how policy has impacted your decisions. You’re originally from the UK, what are some of the policies/access that you had back home vs. here? What do you think we could do better and do we do well. Each state is different.
Bianca-You know what, America does business and allows you to be an entrepreneur really well. There’s so many grants and support groups. I guess telling people how easy it is to start a business here. As a business owner-I have to pay for my own healthcare. England I don’t have to do that. However, my brother owns a business in the UK and they’re changing regulations. It’s not business owner friendly to me.
Michelle-What advice would you give women about taking an epic risk?
Bianca-Don’t overthink it. Know that this is an adventure. It might not be forever. You’re just exploring. The fact that you tried is enough in and of itself.
Michelle-If I were to ask you about women wanting more-what do you hear from other people? What are we expressing that we aren’t getting.
Bianca-To be less stressed and overwhelmed. We’re just not taking this anymore. We’re not just accepting what’s being given to us and I think more of us are finding their voice.
Michelle-Could you share your projects.
Bianca-My podcast “It Didn’t Break Me” is my actually second podcast. My first was “Authentic Wednesday” I want to share that it’s my second to go with what I was saying. You can pivot and make changes. I interview guests, about things that we think would break us but didn’t. You can overcome and you can do it!
Michelle-I love this concept. How can we find you.
Bianca- authenticallybeyou.com and Instagram. You can also link with me on Linked.
Michelle-Oh! I have one last question. For someone who’s nervous about designing their best life, what are some of the easy steps to do this. Are we being selfish for having this conversation?
Bianca-What’s wrong with that? Why is it a bad thing to consider what is best for us?
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