Stop Living a Small Life to Make Other People Comfortable
I distinctly remember several occasions when I sabotaged my dreams because I didn’t want people in my life to feel uncomfortable. I recognized, early on, that there are many people who hear your dreams as a repudiation of theirs.
What do I mean?
Let me share some of my dreams and how other people heard them when I would voice them out loud.
- Debt-freedom in two years! I’m going to make that happen. Other people might hear, “it’s wrong to have debt”, “you spend too much on stupid stuff”, “why don’t you do things the way that I’m doing things?” When in reality….all I’m focused on is getting out of debt because I’m tired of having debt in my life.
- Looking forward to meeting “The One!” I’m ready to embrace and bring love into my life again. Other people may hear “Don’t you want to meet someone?” “Why aren’t you looking?” “What are you doing to meet someone?” And I’m just like…it’s taking me long enough to take care of my own love life, I have no interest in critiquing yours.
- I want to have 5 to 6-figure months with my blogging and podcasting activities. Other people may hear “Why don’t you want the same?” “What’s wrong with your blogging activities and why aren’t you making money?” “Why are you comfortable with what you’re doing?”
The reality I believe not only in having a vision board and creating a clear vision of the goals that I would like to achieve, I also believe in “speaking” my thoughts into existence.
Yes, I’m woo-woo.
But, I began to notice that I was becoming reticent about owning my dreams because they began to feel like they were…too big, too audacious, basically…out of my reach. It felt like everyone else was achieving the dreams that they had shared with me…but, I wasn’t and I realized that I was living a small life because on a subconscious level I didn’t want to make people in my life uncomfortable. I don’t mean my other blogging buddies. I mean family members and friends who just didn’t get what I was trying to do.
Then, I had a change of heart. I kept meeting people who said that it was wrong to keep my gifts to myself. These people were from different parts of my life. Bloggers, long-time friends, and family. These wonderful people wanted me to exceed my (and their) expectations and share my gifts with the world. These same people also “schooled me” lovingly. I’m going to share what almost all of these people said verbatim.
- You have to put in the work. It’s not rocket science. You have to put in the work and it’s hard. But, most people want what they want quickly and easily. But, the reality is that the work you do builds up over time. Kind of like when you push something up hill and it’s exhausting and right when you decide to give up…you’re at the top of the mountain and then you’re on cruise control as you go down the mountain. My friend Holly Johnson is a prolific freelancer. She has grown her income by a ridiculous amount in the past 4 years. But, Holly put in the work. She has daily earnings goals, she created a system, she’s professional, she’s consistent, and she pitches all the time. There is a reason why she’s kicking butt. She’s working with laser focus.
- Consistency is everything…not necessarily what you know. People nowadays are really inconsistent. From the top down. People don’t do what they say, they disappear for weeks at a time from projects that you’re following them on (read-I also did this) and the list goes on. It is not lost on me that the greatest amount of growth that I’ve experienced professionally and personally is during times of great consistency.
There are other lessons that they’ve shared but really the two in this post are the most important ones. Be consistent and do the work. When you begin changing inconsistency and working more, people won’t believe that you’re the same person. Then, they will forget the old you because your new habits will make them forget the old habits (unless you were a jerk…then, all bets are off LOL!)
Living an Audacious Life
Takes courage. I’m currently fan-girling an up and coming action hero on Instagram and Twitter (not stalking). This guy (or his minion) are super nice and always respond to my random interactions. What I love about this guy (besides the fact that he’s hot) is that he’s on the cusp of being a well-known action hero. Seriously.
Can you imagine the conversation that he had with friends and family? Like…hey, so…I want to be a super-hero. Really. To complicate this, he’s Asian-American and you can count the number of Asian movie super-heroes on one hand from the past 10-years.
“Hey mom, I want to be an action hero!”
I give you permission to dream big, be audacious, and…to leave people behind who don’t understand what you’re trying to do. You owe no one anything. But, you DO owe it to yourself and to those you could serve to develope your potential. You owe it to people to grow your income so that you can help others. You owe it to others to share your gifts so that they can learn from you and better their lives.
Stop living small. I just might be looking in the mirror as I reflect on this.
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