The End is NEAR!
Ok, I’m being a little dramatic but really, the end is near. The end of 2014. This year has been…”special.” I went into it with very little energy, not sure what the direction of my life should be and really feeling that I was at a crossroads personally and professionally. Basically, I was lost and trying to find my way. In addition to feeling lost and directionless I also had debt to deal with and honestly I was feeling pretty overwhelmed.
It is the end of 2014 and some big changes are in the works and in order to make these changes I had to alter what I was doing from the years before (basically, my previous process wasn’t working for me). The first thing that I did that changed my life was a bit benign but really was the catalyst that set the ball rolling towards making profound changes personally and professionally. What did I do?
#1-I Read Self-Help Books
Yes, I read self-help books and the first one that I read is still the best one that I read this year. I found it for .25 cents at my local Goodwill and after reading it with an open mind I completed the different exercises that were at the end of each chapter. I also read “Calling in the One” about dating. I love that book but it was clear that I was not in the position to date until I managed my personal life.
#2-I Eliminated Energy Drains
You’re probably wondering what do I mean by energy drains? Basically, the low grade and obvious distractions that build up when you’re not paying attention. Energy drains could be: something that needs to be fixed in your home, negative people, debt, lack of savings, dreams that you haven’t achieved, and anything else that you’ve stalled out on. So, I put my pen to paper and started writing down the issues, people, and concerns that were distractions from my achieving what I dreamed for myself.
My Energy Drain List Had 38 FREAKING ITEMS on it!!!
It is hardly surprising that I couldn’t focus and make things happen. I had too many things on my mind and too many things that I hadn’t dealt with. If you are stuck, I would really, really encourage you to do this one activity and start taking care of whatever you’re not dealing with.
Some Energy Drains Included:
- The cabinet door that put on backwards in my kitchen that I didn’t notice before I bought my place.
- My closet that had way too many clothes.
- The awful paint job in my bedroom.
- Not spending enough time with the people that I love.
- I hated my clothes
Solutions included:
- Getting the cabinet door flipped.
- Getting rid of 1/2 my clothes and reorganizing my closet.
- I repainted my bedroom and moved furniture around.
- Worked hard on spending time with the people that I love. I just returned from visiting my grandma 3 weeks ago and I hang out with my mom as much as I possibly can.
#3–Took Vacation Time:
Let’s be clear, I’m not talking about taking vacations. I actually used my vacation time to take 1/2 days or whole days off several times throughout the month. I had the support of my colleagues and even if I didn’t I needed to take my time off.
I’m so glad that I did.
Because I took that vacation time throughout the summer I was able to take the time to think clearly on a lot of the issues that I was trying to deal with but I didn’t have the time(or mental energy) to deal at that time. So, by taking my vacation hours I was able to find the time. I was very fortunate to have over 100 hours of vacation time that I could use to help me decompress and manage my life better.
I Found Michelle Again!!!
I realized that I had lost myself in the crap that I was (and wasn’t) dealing with. It was hardly surprising that I wasn’t moving forward and was stuck. I am so glad that I recognized that I needed to clear the space in my life to focus on what was important to me. I will elaborate on this further in January.
If You’re Stuck…
And you think that self-help books are “hokey” I totally understand. I would at least encourage you to take the time to write down the things that may be holding you back. Then, start working on eliminating those things. You won’t believe what a difference that makes.
How did you change your life this year? Tips?
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Love that you were/are focused on getting your life to a point of wholeness. In the last couple of months I also began to put my needs higher on the life priority list and spend more time nurturing what I wanted.
I have always thought about health and wellness but didn’t understand that in order to have balance you have to have a strategy (even with life!) I am excited that I found the tools that would work for me at this point in time. When I wrote my energy drains list the irony was that one of the last things I wrote was that I was tired of being last on my list! So, I am working hard on being first, it is not as easy as people would think.
I’ve had quite the year of change as well. I like the idea of figuring out your energy drains. I’m sure I have quite a few/
I’ve had a number of years where it’s like Groundhog’s day. Nothing changed. This year I just couldn’t have another year like the last FIVE!
Hi Michelle, what was the first book you read this year? I re-read your post a couple times but did not see you mention it….I think you mentioned it in an earlier post. I am trying to think of what book I want to read to start off 2015. The last couple years the first book I read unintentionally gave me perspective for the remainder of the year so i am going to try to make it a yearly habit.
The name of that book is “Take Time for Your Life” by Cheryl Richardson. I actually had the addition from 1999 (thrift store!) She has updated that book and now there is the possibility to get it online. I love that the first book you read set the tone for the year. I would love to get a list of the books that you read for the last couple of years.
Thanks! I am going to see if my library has it. I don’t really keep track of the books I read because I tend to borrow from the library but the two books I was referring to was Every day a Friday by Joel Osteen (now I don’t suffer from the Monday blues) and The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz (really helped me change my perspective and especially in taking things personally).
Let me know what you think of about that book. I will also check out the book by Joel Osteen. I love to read so keep the book suggestions coming.
Sounds like a great year Michelle. We are in the process of cleaning up some energy drains, by de-cluttering our house. We are tackling a room/ category at a time. It’s been long over due.
It has been a great (imperfect) year. Of course there are things that I wish were different but the things that I really worked on have gone really well. You won’t believe what a difference the de-clutter will make in how you feel. It’s freaky.
I’m working on the thinning closet myself. Do you have a post that you talk about your strategies? I would love to see that.
I don’t think I have a post specifically dedicated to that. Part of what happened was I did a year of No Shopping and how I viewed my clothing really changed before I got rid of most of my wardrobe. I didn’t feel that what I had really was a good representation of how I felt about myself. So, it was easy to get rid of what I didn’t like. I would start with the following: What makes you feel good when you wear it? Keep! What makes you feel blah? Get rid of! Then, I would set the goal of getting rid of anything: stained, has holes/tears, or just fits funny. Duplicates was an issue for me too. I can only have 2 duplicates not four! So, if I had 4 black turtlenecks, I got rid of two. That should be a good starting point.
I’m glad you recapped, since I wasn’t “around” last year. This is totally awesome!
I recently started making a list of the things I want to work on and I realized that, man, I have a lot to work on 😉 maybe some of it is blog material and some isn’t, but I definitely have things to consider.
Whatever you decide to work on is always blogging material! Just decide what you feel comfortable (and safe) sharing. Hope you’re having a wonderful holiday season!
That’s awesome Michelle! I think getting rid of energy drains is HUGE! I’m happy to hear you ended the year on such a positive note! Can’t wait to see what the future has in store for you!
Tonya, I won’t lie when I say that the energy drains were a huge, huge problem. I couldn’t think as clearly as I needed to and because of that I couldn’t begin to make the changes that I needed to make. Things aren’t perfect, but my mind is in the right place. That’s HUGE!
I always love your attitude, Michelle. So refreshing. =) I think I need to put together a list of energy drains as well. I get bothered by little things quite easily, and sometimes I don’t notice when they’re all adding up. I’m trying to work on not getting bothered at all, but rectifying a few things will help! I’ve had a lot of changes this year as well, but I still have a lot of room for improvement in 2015.
Erin, at has taken a long time to get to this head space. But, getting rid of all of the little things that I wasn’t dealing with has really freed up a lot of energy. I have a lot more energy to deal with the stuff that I need to focus on and I don’t feel as overwhelmed. Thirty-eight energy drains is a heck of a lot of energy being spent on stuff that I could just be taking care of. Just take care of it Erin 🙂 You’ll feel better!
What a successful year of progress- Jealous! One happy thing this year is that I found your blog, which is very inspiring to me. Early Happy New Year!
Susanna, you made my day! Let’s stay inspired and Rock 2015!!!
I love all this Michelle! The energy drain list is a great idea. I suppose our old house was a big energy drain – I’m glad we sold up!
Currently, my energy drains are all money focused. Now that I’ve dealt with a lot the other stuff that was bothering me (and I didn’t know it) I feel a lot better equipped to deal with my money issues. I’m able to FOCUS!
Vacation time is what keeps me sane – even when I don’t do anything with it. I also agree that little things like a backwards kitchen cabinet can be damaging to your mental health. That kind of stuff drives me bonkers until it is fixed.
I wish that I had done this earlier (taken more vacation)…but, I didn’t! It made such a huge difference in my frame of mind. The cabinet door made me CRAZY. Am so glad it’s fixed.
I can feel how much you have changed this year. The feeling is palpable. So happy for you as I was worried about you. I could tell how frustrated you were. You made some great changes and I’m happy to see what the future holds for you! 😉
Melanie, I was in a bad space for a really long time. Things aren’t perfect but I feel like I’ve made a lot of changes that will enable me to manage the stuff that’s still a drag! I couldn’t have made these changes without you guys!!!
LOVE THIS POST! I haven’t tried self-help books, but maybe I should. I also love the idea of writing down and dealing with the time and energy sucks in your life. Great tips to help us get 2015 started off right!
You made my day! Not everyone can get into Self-help books because they CAN get a little cheesy. However, the one that I talk about is really good. There were 2 activities that really freaked me out: the energy drains elimination and the charting of how I spend my week. I ended up with negative numbers basically what that means is that I have so much going that I using “more” than 168 hours a week on tasks. That number has dropped.
I love this post, Michelle! First, I’m so glad that you are in a better place after doing the work. It’s no fun, well it’s downright hard, when you are in a bad place. I’m a big believer in all the 3 items you mentioned, especially the energy drainers. There have been multiple times in my life when I’ve had to take a step back and look a hard look at who and what was in my life. Ridding myself of energy drainers has made the biggest difference in my life and attitude. Love that you’re ending 2014 in such a positive place and a great place to be in for 2015.
Thanks Shannon! It has taken a lot of work. I’m still physically very, very tired but I am working hard to manage that piece. You are so right when you talk about how hard it is to do the work to change things. I still have a number of things that I need to take care of but the list is a lot smaller and a heck of a lot more manageable because I now have the mental energy to deal with it. I’m trying to manage each day and keep myself from being overwhelmed. One day we need to swap stories on the energy drains that we got rid of.
I love the idea of getting rid of the energy drains. Actually writing them down can be helpful and even therapeutic.
I had no idea that I had so many things on my mind until I took a moment to write them down. It was shocking to me!!
Glad you found yourself! You did a lot of amazing things to get rid of the negative in your life. I’m thankful I found myself too…before I got really buried until clothes and debt. Silly how we lose direction sometimes but I think its due to the energy drains you mention. We spend too much time focusing on them instead of getting rid of them.
I’m still in the process but pretty much am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. It was a lot more work getting myself together than I would ever expect, but it’s so worth it. I will make time for introspection and self-critique from now on. It’s made a huge difference. I think getting your name changed was probably a huge energy drain eliminated.
This is a great idea for a post (which I am probably going to steal, LOL. With credit to you!) I especially liked the energy drains list — I really need to make one of those — and the fact that in doing all this stuff, you found yourself again. Awesome.
Feel free!! I can’t wait to read it. It has been an intense year. This is why people don’t like to deal with their crap-it’s a lot of work.
We’re near the end of a huge energy drain…it’s still holding on unfortunately, that’s why I’m up at 5 am, well before my alarm. I hear you – good advice!
Ohh! I hope it’s almost done. Sending good vibes and get some rest.
One day recently I was super annoyed at teh end of work, so I scrawled a page of all the issues, and then a few weeks later went back and realised that many of them were fleeting, and others I’d worked through, which was even more theraputic. I used to write a lot more, but once or twice the BF has found less than nice ‘writing’ so I have shut that down a bit… I shouldn’t have.
Isn’t it funny how writing things down helps to get stuff off your chest and put some perspective on the issues you’re dealing with? Keep writing just figure out a better place for it 🙂